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so I exchange a couple of messages with OKC guy. He is not poly, but interested, and asks good questions, seems honest, smart and attractive. 89% match. I go check out his questions and look at the 'unacceptable answers' category. Yeah, should've done that sooner. I usually do - I have a couple...

I don't like one of my husbands partners. He's been with her for 5 years now and the only way this works is because he keeps the relationships separate and she and I don't interact. There is no way in hell that I would live with her, not even for 1 night. Well, I suppose I could do 1 night if...

I had one relationship with a guy I met on OKC who said right at the beginning when we started messaging: I never heard of this poly stuff, hm sounds interesting, maybe it's for me, hm yeah ok let's try it. I ended up dating him for 9 months or so, and during that time it became increasingly...

I prefer to sleep alone. In fact, Ren and I have slept in separate bedrooms for many years. Sometimes I will start the night in his bed, for cuddling, but after falling asleep his snoring usually wakes me up and then I just take myself to my own bedroom for a good nights sleep. I don't always...

It's been a few days since I've felt anxious about my relationship with Bo. Actually.. it's been almost a week, and this is, I think, a new record. I'm trying to analyze or understand why this is the case, because maybe that will help me with future anxiety.. but so far, I can't find anything...

being ignored is one of my main triggers too, and it's one of the main reasons I have such a love/hate relationship with online forums. Communication is not the same as IRL, and I constantly have to remind myself of the fact that I often read something that really clicks with me but yet I don't...

You didn't sound harsh at all! I think it is just a thing where what's working for me, would not work for you. And I can see how it seemed that my replies derailed from your OP - however for me they were connected. If I can have one more attempt to explain what I meant - for me there are...

I know they are illnesses. I am sorry if I made you feel I believe that they are something that you can just change or distract yourself from, that was not my intention at all - I know, from plenty of my own experience, that that is not how it works. My perspective was more about how much you...

BTW I wanted to add that things you do, like movie night and karaoke night with his other partners, would be way too much for me to handle. I have met my BF's other partner twice and that was nice, I like her, we chat sometimes about practical and scheduling stuff, and I am fine with BF...

Hi KC. I can relate so much to what you are writing here. Like you, I always feel that I will not be good enough, that people will leave me, that they will enjoy the company of others more. Relationships and friendships bring me joy and they also cause me a lot of anxiety because of my beliefs...

I have experienced feeling down and out of sorts after spending extensive amount of time with my BF. I've noticed it works best if I go straight to work from his place, or come home to an empty house - I don't do so well if my husband is home and I immediately have to interact with him. But...

I actually had a conversation with my BF about this yesterday, we were talking about my being insecure and sometimes jealous (he experiences zero jealousy and only very occasionally feels insecure, so talking about this subject is always a bit like we're both speaking different languages. It is...

I am SO bad with dates... I did not break up with C fall of 2015, as I wrote, but fall of 2014, about 6 months after we got back together. It's a silly thing to correct but I just don't want it on record that our relationship dragged on for a year and a half when it was only 6 months! So right...

I have been married for 20 years in a relationship that had us hopping on the escalator pretty much the moment we met. While I don't regret the choices I made, I am very grateful that I now have the opportunity to explore other types of relationships. For me, the non-escalator aspect of the...

well! yes, it's been ages since I updated this blog. I'm not sure I want to get back to writing and updating regularly, but as the year is drawing to a close I am thinking about all that's happened and kind of taking score, and thought I'd fill in this huge gap between january 2014 and today...

I had to have two teeth pulled the past year, 6 months apart, and both times my regular dentist was not available and I was treated by another, very cute, dentist in the same practice. Handsome and with a great sense of humour which made the whole ordeal slightly more bearable.:)

I've been on dozens (about 60, give or take) first dates over the past couple of years. If I had said ' yes' to every guy who asked me out on OKC I think I would have had to quit my job. So yeah, I'm picky. And nitpicky. The 'subtle variances in word usage and triggers' are exactly what will...

this may be just me, but for me it is a turn off when a man says 'you' in his profile a lot (the worst example of this is when he lists 'you' as one of the six most important things in life). To me it just sounds so superficial.. he is addressing a 'you' that doesn't exist, because dozens of...

Just wanted to add another thought to the mix. I have a partner who kind of practices DADT.. BUT he also practices 'if you DO ask, I DO tell'. which means that he doesn't talk about his other relationships or hook ups if nobody asks. But if anybody does ask, he's completely honest, answers all...

Thanks all, for your input. Lots to think about. Magdlyn and Annabel, good to read your stories about how different relationships with different dynamics can co-exist. To clarify a couple of things: he was with his other GF for about a year already, when he and I met. She is also married. He...