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Red08, it sounds an awful lot like you and hubby are handling his poly nature and your uncertain nature by forming a triad rather than a V. Figuring out your own nature will be vital if that's to succeed. Threesomes can be fun, but as RP points out, that's just sport fucking. Poly...

It sounds like a psychiatrist is in order. If you have family in the area, you may want to enlist their help with the kids. A nanny or au pair would be a good idea in any case. That person could help the wife if she overwhelmed. And let's be frank, if the wife bolts or RC needs to move on...

I'm glad the forums are helping. It's always interesting how the similar experiences of others help us with our own seemingly major things. If you and hubby are really not interested in kids, he might consider getting snipped. The procedure now is much simpler than before--easier than a...

Waiting can be the hardest part. *tick*tock*argh!* *hug*

Sage, you may be onto something there with the polymono success related to poly being able to hold it together and do a lot of the relationship work. I put it heavily on me that if I'm the one juggling multiple situations that I am the one thinking about the others and proactively make sure all...

Maybe it is her. Based on your story of a previous similar breakup though, I'd say it's both of you. You found a person and over time built a particular dynamic that leads to the same place where the previous relationship wound up. At least you can say you have a "type." ;) Despair.com sells...

ClariceK, I'm glad you're working through things. I'm especially happy that you explicitly stated what you were doing (laundry) and what you wanted (a phone call). It's nice to see that trustynatasha called you home. It must have been a warm reminder that she was listening, and that you're a...

Thanks. We worked hard to find a hospital that allowed us to guide the process (squatting bar, birthing ball, etc.). Maybe it's just a Pacific Northwest thing, but they were super supportive of the idea of a natural, mother-centric process.

RC, you and your wife may click in ways you never dreamed of. I believe the two fundamental aspects of a successful poly relationship--like a successful traditional relationship--are the people and the work. I see you working, and that's good. I hope that you are also the right people...

That's understandable. K and I are supportive of trying to make the process as natural as possible. Her actual plan was to be as natural as possible but in a birth center (attached to a hospital) setting. The issue is simply this: in order to realize there's a problem, realize it's bad enough...

Sure, it's okay for him to be a happy mono in a V. Have you considered the question of what if he's more of a moderate? In other words, what if he is wired such that he can handle poly elements. He might not be a hardwired poly, but if he's never really dealt with the issue, then the answer...

One would hope that being just a hug away from someone would be an ok thing. :p

While I understand that there are successful homebirths, if there are complications, the results go bad fast. If we were not minutes from an OR with a doctor and team ready (and then an ICU--K's DOC has 10-50% mortality), K would likely be dead and my son would be brain damaged or dead, as...

Quick note: Both RC and his wife sound new to the life. As much as we want them to be fluid poly geniuses, let's recall that both (and lately his wife especially) have a lot of learning and growing to do. What we might take as obvious is still new for them. RC, it's good you're focusing on...

You can add me to the stable of blank shooters. *pew! pew!* I had an unplanned kid when I was 19 who was given up for adoption. Seventeen years later, K and I had a son together. Her pregnancy was fine up until fully dilated, and then his heart rate crashed, and they did an emergency...

One thing to consider when looking at overlapping activities is to step back and really ask yourselves what's keeping you from all enjoying the activity. You might find that some of the things you see as a two-person event could be a three-person event for people bold enough to try it. (In...

My wife K and I have a few rules we agree to that help relationship life in general. One of those rules is: No blowing up unless you've already articulated--in your out loud voice--what it is that is upsetting you. In your story, you see the lack of a text as uncaring. Hubby and girlfriend...

RC, a slightly different take on NeonKaos' post... Yes, focus on yourself for a bit. If she's out doing stuff, keep yourself busy. It's not about protecting yourself, though. It's about being happy with yourself. As far as her looking at shiny things with you around, consider this, she's doing...

Very exciting! Stay focused on the love and acceptance, and take every step with proper caution and forethought. I'm glad to hear your story taking such a positive turn.

Yes, I do.