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I'm a bit conflicted on this issue. Personally I don't think I'd mind so much - I feel like there's not much difference between a trinket acquired by my partner before we met, and one given to her by someone she's seeing now. I don't think I'd be that bothered emotionally by seeing something...

I think this is a problem that your friend needs to solve, not you. She hasn't actually revoked Dude's invitation, so I would assume that she is still expecting to see him at the wedding. If she does approach you about it, then all you need to do is explain that logistically you cannot attend...

This sounds very positive! Remember, even if things do backslide a bit at some point in the future, that bumps in the road are normal. A few weeks ago you were feeling very despondent about the possibilities of Lioness wading through her feelings and accepting any kind of change, and now things...

It sounds to me like the problem is not her behaviour, or her demands to control your relationship, but your shared partner. At the end of the day, you make your relationship agreements with him. If he is unwilling to respect them, whether that's under pressure from her or not, the buck stops...

I was thinking the same thing. If someone doesn't want to give me oral sex I don't mind. I admit, I do simply take it as a given in that case that they also don't like receiving oral sex - and I find that quickly takes care of any sense of 'double standards' quite easily. If there is a mismatch...

In general, everything you describe is her stuff to attend to and sort out. All you need to manage is your budding relationship with her. However, it does sound like she might not be very good at choosing partners, maintaining healthy boundaries, communicating with her lovers, and generally...

Just a quick note on the above: you don't have to ask permission of the others, or negotiate transitioning to a V. Your right to remain in a relationship with both of them remains yours exclusively. If being in a romantic relationship with someone who seems a bit manipulatory or emotionally...

Do not underestimate the hurt and betrayal she may well feel when, eventually, you come clean and decide to tell her that not only did you hide your romantic and loving feelings for this person from her, but that you did it because you didn't think she could handle it. If your relationship is...

I can understand her frustration because whilst she is being open and honest about her feelings, you are not. Putting on a brave face, or neglecting to talk about your worries and fears is not the way to protect her or keep your relationship steady. It's great that you get polyamory on an...

There's something a little bit 'eww' about this situation, in the sense that his offer to let you guys move in seems transactional - would he have offered if you and your wife were NOT interested in opening your marriage? I think you are in a shitty situation. Being financially dependent on him...

I think I would concur with Kevin's definitions, except that for me 'hook up' is simply slang for having sex with someone. It's quite common for either Nina or I to come home from a date, and for one of us to ask, 'so, did you hook up?' and that's all it means. I would use the term 'one off' or...

I think I'd struggle in your situation - if you have a hierarchical arrangement then I can see how this could signify something to worry about. It sounds like you like to feel special in terms of you being the one your wife comes home to, builds a life with, and so on, and that one of the ways...

To me it doesn't sound like she's a narcissist or a psychopath, but she does sound like someone who is no longer in love with you, no longer wants to be in a relationship with you, and who is uncomfortable with you continuing to be in a relationship with her husband. She says she doesn't want to...

If you are not comfortable with the agreement she has made, you owe it to both of you to be honest about it. We cannot say whether it is a reasonable request from him or not. Only you know how you feel. If you feel it kills the mood for you right before you sleep, and it impacts upon you...

I find this an interesting topic as it's something I have been questioning myself for a while. I am planning to get married to my long term partner, Nina, at some point soon. I am confident that we are so deeply compatible that some kind of close romantic connection will last between us for the...

I struggle to sleep when I'm not in my own bed or my life partner is away. I also find that sex right before trying to sleep is a sure fire way to keep me buzzing and I always find it hard to drop off. I know lots of people get the opposite and sex knocks them out, but for me it's the same as...

My reading of his phrasing would be that he is somewhat passively telling you that you have inflicted some kind of beating upon *him* but that he can take it on the chin, emotionally speaking. I don't see a threat of violence there, but then again, American English is sufficiently different to...

The short answer is: I don't think you can convince someone of that fact, if it is their deeply entrenched belief. I think a person CAN change and challenge and dismantle such beliefs, but firstly, they have got to want to (which must be because they themselves come to the conclusion that it's...

Condom use is negotiable in the traditional paradigm?? I'm not sure where you are from, but be reassured that in the vast majority of Western cultures this is emphatically not the case, and most men wouldn't bat an eyelid at the thought. Please, please, please, if there is any personal boundary...

I agree with Inyourendo about dating separately. Also, for me CL is not a place to find a long term relationship. I would try OKCupid. If you simply must date as a couple, OKC at least gives you a way to link your two profiles, so both of you get to explain yourself, your personality, and...