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Here's the thing, though. A counsellor could be completely poly friendly and still reinforce things that your wife doesn't like the idea of. When I came to this site, I felt quite positively about my own involvement in poly relationships. I'd newly started a FWB type relationship with an old...

Absolutely. Nothing can give a guarantee, but something I've read several times (not often here, thankfully) is that marriages are safer somehow if they are non-monogamous, that an ability to have more sexual variety protects against people growing apart in some way. People sometimes feel...

Do you think that maybe it has given you a glimpse into a life you might like to have led? A poly life? I don't know that people ever get over wanting other people to be close to them.

I so much agree with what Spork has written. You can't ask what women like - we don't all like the same things. What is clear is that you feel that this woman is making poor choices, not treating you like a friend and you can't understand why she would do that. These are all legitimate ways...

We do have a woman PM. We've had a woman PM before - she was pretty awful. Did lots of work to dismantle the welfare state, privatise everything she could and generally make life more difficult for the poorest in our country. We've never really recovered from her. Not sure if another right...

Of course - people of all ages like to watch telly and cook. It's just that some people seem to expect their lives to close in around them once they get older. My parents were the same. My dad was an older father so by the time we all grew up, he was retired. At that point, free of having to...

I'm also guilty of reading your blog and not writing, Mags. You always seem so together to me. I love reading about your adventures. It's such an inspiration when sometimes I feel surrounded by people who keep telling me that when I reach my 50s, I'll feel the same way as them and will realise...

I'm so sorry to read this, Bluebird. I read your blog often and feel awed at how much love, time and energy you spent on the people in your life. So sad that things haven't worked out with Warman. You both really did try. I hope you heal quickly.

This sounds absolutely terrifying. I hope you do manage to cut off all contact with this woman. It seems to me that however much she may want some comfort and support to drag somebody else into this risky situation isn't kind. How is your partner feeling about this sort of bad feeling and...

It doesn't sound weird at all. I agree. My decisions were as much about me as they were about others. I never like the feeling that my presence in somebody's life is hurtful to them - I find it upsetting. I've always been very empathetic. So, when my partner had sex with a woman who knew all...

I'm not sure that I'd describe a 10 year age gap as a generation gap. Unless you are both very young, he's 16 and you are 26 say, there are unlikely to be major differences. I have friends 20 years older than me and friends 20 years younger - doesn't make all that much difference. Maybe poly...

Thanks. :-) And yes - compromise is okay but there are some things that each of us cannot compromise on without suffering - and I think it's okay to know what those things are and not compromise on them. I don't even do that. I might have a conversation about marriage and children - but just...

Have the list in your head. Have it there long before you get to the first date. No need to share it with dates but it is easier to weed people out if you know what you look for in the first place. I have a very close person in my life who at one time in his life found himself a widower...

It's always been my feeling that to promise to never change for the rest of your life isn't realistic. I've never promised life-long anything to any person. That's why I have never married - the "'till death do us part" promise has always seemed quite daft to me. Not one I'd be willing to...

I think that threats of violence - and following through on those threats is pretty common when one person feels cheated on. Remember that women are more at risk of being murdered by a partner or a previous partner than by anybody else in the world. Violence in romantic relationships is...

Sounds to me like he is not at all on board with the idea of an open relationship. Did he even know before he came to visit? Or is he somebody who agreed to it somewhat reluctantly and is finding himself not at all happy with the reality of it? Sounds like some tough conversations to have with...

I would certainly avoid saying anything that makes it sound as if your partner is less enlightened or more indoctrinated than you and that if only they would stretch themselves a bit and let go of insecurities, they would see that poly is the way to go. We are all of us indoctrinated and biased...

This is so sad to read. Sending you hugs. Somebody close to me lost her husband in a road traffic accident. Nobody was drunk - it was careless driving on the part of the other driver. This was about 8 years ago now. The rage that my friend felt was incredible. I used to phone her daily to...

Something in your words here make me feel a sense of sadness. The understanding I take from your words (and previous posts) is that you don't seek close friendships with men (either platonic or sexual) and that while you would like close friendships with women, you don't allow them to become...

I feel exactly the same way. This is a great forum, welcoming of diversity, the members are generally thoughtful, articulate and able to deal with differing viewpoints. I love it. That's why I stay. I landed here after I started seeing a man who spoke enthusiastically about open relationships...