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Most definitely!

((HUGS)) Sorry sweets. It's a hard process I know...

It's great that she saw that it wasn't working for either of you. I send the two of you good wishes in learning to enjoy each other and build a solid relationship again. :)

I don't know how you could phrase this so that it wouldn't sound like an accusation, because it really isn't. But if she's seeing this as your "inability to give to her"-- she's neglecting to look at her inability to give to you. You're not saying you can't do this at all, you're saying that you...

Sorry this was so hard. My own personal opinion is that this right here emphasizes my rule #1 with poly-- the existing relationship needs to be on firm ground for a good long while before adding new people. I think too often people rush into things because an opportunity pops up, without taking...

I agree. However, to ME that requires some time to get to know somebody first. I don't think there is any way to know in the beginning if somebody is trustworthy, or just a good liar. Or even a bad liar-- that can take more than an evening with drinks to figure out! :) Ditto. I don't do DADT...

I wonder how much R is helping to foster the illusion that things may work out with him and W? If he truly is just placating whichever woman he is with at the time (throwing the other person's needs under the bus to do it), and at the same time off at various other times doing whatever he wants...

Just my two cents but it seems you have been dealing with a LOT of emotional stuff for the past six months-- asking for a little time to just pause and let it settle and just BE for a bit is not asking too much. I can understand that he may fear this will put things on pause, or you'll change...

I can understand sleep being hard, especially with anxiety and some sadness. I've found that L-theanine (I get a supplement) helps with anxiety a bit. I also take a few things before bed to help-- melatonin, valerian root and a herbal sleeping aid called "calms forte." The melatonin and calmes...

I think that most of the time, most people are very good about not sticking a label on a person, but asking them the questions that they may not have thought about. I have seen people mention to the couple that they may want to search the forum for "unicorn" so that they can read previous...

I think most of us would prefer a group where the loves and metamours can get along, hang out and be on the same team. Unfortunately, that actually requires some effort to choose partners that are healthy, open to polyamory, good communicators, secure in their own lives and needs, and able to...

I'm going to throw something out there, but feel free to disregard if it doesn't apply. It really seems to me that W is not happy with a poly relationship. The fact that they're going to counseling, and W found a counselor that thinks poly is not a good choice, and she is agreeing with the...

I don't consider compromise to be weakness at ALL. I think it's the only way people can be in loving relationships and try to have things work out the best they can for both parties, which means sometimes someone will have to compromise, and sometimes the other person will. I do it all of the...

I can only give my own perception and opinion here but... to me OPP just means exactly that. One Penis Policy. That's not inherently bad or good. The only problem I would see with that (and why i wouldn't allow it in my own relationships) is because MOST of the time (not all-- of course) the...

I agree. And I think that a lot of people's drama could be relieved if everybody did this.

Good for you, BWC, for listening to your instincts. Still, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. :( Pain does fade, though, and we all have to learn these little lessons. It helps us define our boundaries better, and that helps us choose better partners and protect ourselves better.

Good for you for standing up for what you need. It's amazing sometimes how codependence sneaks up on you! :) Counseling is the bomb, at least it has been from my experience. I've learned so much about myself the past few years, and it has helped me in many ways. Awesome! :) I am often...

In my experience it just takes some time. It doesn't HELP that he's there in the house, but really it's just going to take some time and distance and things will stop feeling so crazy in your head. It's really only been a very short time... though I know it seems like forever! Of course you're...

SHE is not the problem. Hey, it's your life. You may not have known what you were getting into before, but you're now knowingly choosing to be with somebody who does not have integrity. At this point, expecting him to act honestly and not risk your health is ridiculous. So you're going into...

I think often we tend to give people the benefit of the doubt a little TOO much. There's a fine line between understanding that people make mistakes, recognizing honest regret and seeing somebody making honest attempts to remedy their behavior-- and enabling somebody who is selfish and deceptive...