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ita.

That depends on where you are I believe. We should all make sure we know the rules in our own jurisdictions.

She's my best freind, so I also know that she wouldn't be jealous about this. Envious? Sure. Just like I am when she gets to do similar things without me. But that's not the point. But the issue wasn't if she was jealous or not. The problem was that his reaction was to say 'no, we can't do this...

Won't happen to him because: :rolleyes: Doesn't matter though, because according to his own words he's not really practising poly at all so I have no idea why he is even here subjecting this forum to this crap. He's also not interesting in any opinion that doesn't support and celebrate his...

Baha! Indeed. :D Maybe that is exactly what we have done here!

Yes. You must be. Those lucky girls to escape you and your "plan". Seriously, fantasize about anything that you want, but now you are actively hunting for women who are easy to manipulate (young, MUCH younger than you, 'dowdy', passive, etc.) and hoping to impregnate them. You want us to...

And especially in Malificent, the 'bad guy' is just so misunderstood. Most of the 'evil' is actually acting out the anger over the hurt experienced. I definitely see why you, LR, would identify with that character. There is a lot of hurt going on right now.

Is poly about sex? No, not the way I practice it. I like the sex, and this is the first relationship I've been in where I felt safe in my sexuality, but even without it I'd love Mal. We actually talked about being non-sexual at the beginning, and decided that it didn't matter either way. The...

That is way to harsh. It is hard to love someone and not have that love returned in the same way. I think it is totally acceptable for your stbx to stop seeing you if he is mono and starts dating a mono woman, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. I too would not want to know it was 'the last...

Not all sorted, but better. Definitely some '1.' in there, he was protecting her. No surprise, but something he needs to think about and a thought pattern he needs to compensate for. I told him I thought he was selling Djinn short, but also that even if she was jealous I didn't think it was...

I'm so glad it went well! Growth can feel like stretching, but how fast you go is as much up to you as the therapist. Go slow if you need to.

:hug: that is every new mother's fear. Just think 'what would mother do?' And then do something else. No promises you won't make mistakes, but at least you won't make the same ones! I had a rocky childhood too, but my daughter (21 soon!) turned out way better than I did. You CAN break the pattern.

At the beginning I tended to approach it like I'm meeting an old acquaintance for coffee. A little 'catching up' (or exposition: who's who and what's what) and then - if comfortable - get deeper. Because I've known her for so long now, I know when my therapist is hearing things she thinks I...

Oh, boy! This!! Djinn is my best friend, Mal is her husband and my partner. It is super easy for me to fall into that trap, and a trap it is! I find the best thing I can do is ask "have you discussed that with him/her? Do you think you should?" And then leave it alone. It the same issue arises...

Agreed. As the one that only has sex a few times a month, I would expect it to be me that he was choosing to use condoms with, not the partner who's bed he sleeps in all the other nights of the month.

Galagirl, your posts are always insightful. Thank you. I think 1. and 3. overlap in that they would both be couples privilege: 1. being her belief in it (or his belief in her belief in it) and 3. being his belief in it. Either way we need to deal with that because no way is it ok with me to...

I appreciate the validation everyone. Thanks. we'll have more conversations about this, I'm sure, and we have a visit this weekend, so I imagine it will come up in person too - which will be both easier and harder.

No it isn't the heart of it, or even a distraction, it was meant more as a dismissal of his 'excuse', because he actually doesn't even know how she would feel. And a statement that the real problem is HIS decision to put her (potential, as yet unknown) reaction ahead of mine. And nope, I'm not...

So Mal and I have a visit planned for next month. And now I'm looking for "things to do" in my city while he is here. I want him to get to know my city and the things about it I love... which include certain art forms (the gallery, the theatre, the symphony, etc, etc). One of the things to...

Yes. This. I don't need a rule to tell me that I need to tell Mal about a condom breaking/other non-safe event while I'm with another (hypothetical at this point) partner. And I know he'll do the same because he already has. ETA: we actually only just had this talk a few days ago, and only...