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    advice and reassurance needed :(

    Hi Snarz,I have a history of anxiety and depression and like the others said I really think if you aren't already getting some help with it,then it would be a really good idea to do so. Until I was well into recovery I wasn't able to sustain any kind of relationship let alone a poly one. I never...
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    New and anxious

    Did he tell you he was going to sleep with her BEFORE he did? If not,then even though you were on a short break,he should have been upfront about his intentions. I know my primary is still sleeping with his ex,he told me and initially I found it difficult because she has said some nasty things...
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    Kori in the Middle, or, my life as a homewrecker.

    I feel for you Kori,I'm in a rather complex dynamic myself and its taking alot of talking to get through. When I met my primary he had just come out of a relationship with a mono woman and a month into things we found out she was pregnant. She decided to keep the baby and in the same breath did...
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    An embarrassing insecurity (penis size)

    I find this interesting, because my primary recently commented (and not in a negative way) that he could go deeper with one of his secondaries. For me, that simply means we have to be more creative with positions, which is fun! :) He is only average-sized (as he calls it) but it's his ability...
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    Redpepper needing some support

    You are a very courageous woman, RP, and I thank you for sharing this with us. Although I am late in reading this thread, I felt I had to post and offer my support to you, because you have been through some incredible emotional pain, yet still show strength and determination to be true to...
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    Hello everybody

    Welcome! I'm also fairly new to the forum myself :)
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    Intimacy

    Intimacy for me has always been about the 'total' connection. Up until I met my SO I had never experienced it on a truly deep level...for us in particular it is total acceptance,a deep trust of one another and an ability to share our deepest thoughts and fears with each other. Today I described...
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    those three little words

    based on my own experiences,some men are not 'built' that way,they cannot express their emotions verbally but prefer to do so through body language and actions. I learnt fairly early on that my father was one of those men,and although it is disappointing not to hear those words,he would have...
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    New And Confused

    I am fairly new to all of this too..my partner is poly and I would consider myself poly-curious. I have tried mongamy and it didn't satisfy me,yet this man I love now has led me to see a side of myself I never would have dreamed of. He accepts me 100% and I him,it is most unusual but immensely...
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    help with mono/poly relationship

    My partner is poly. He was previously, and to some extent, still is, involved with a mono woman who makes similar exclusivity demands. When I stayed with him for a week recently there was loads of interference from her, all negative. I know and accept there are other women in his life, whereas...
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    Sharing your initial confusions and realizations

    As someone new to the 'poly lifestyle' myself,please take your time,it is certainly not easy and it challenges alot of previous ideals we all were brought up with. I always struggled with monogamy because I always thought one person 'should' satisfy me and I became intensely frustrated when that...
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    A jealous ex

    Thanks, Fidelia. I appreciate your input. I discussed it at length with him last night. He is adamant that he is not going to give in to her demands for monoamory when he knows he can't do it. He also admitted their dependence is what I described as 'toxic,' and he is finding it very hard to...
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    A jealous ex

    She emailed me today, so I forwarded the messages to him, and then discussed them with him. She was 'fishing' for information. I gave her very little. He advised me to cut contact with her altogether, so I have done that. Like has been said before, it serves no purpose. It is between him and her...
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    A jealous ex

    I guess it's just the part of me that hates fighting. That is why I made the effort. I can't see us having regular contact. I guess I just wanted to test the waters. But I do get your point. The only value I see coming out of this is that she may be able to manipulate him, but not me. I now know...
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    A jealous ex

    An interesting development took place tonight, on his Facebook page, of all places. I knew she was trying to bait me, but I just wished her a Happy Christmas and hoped she was having a nice holiday. It was all very civil and, to be honest, I was somewhat shocked at how well it went. Of course, I...
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    looking for some advice on how to handle my parents

    I am glad you are looking after your own emotional needs and not acceding to your mother's disapproval. Its a pity she can't just 'agree to disagree'..after all you are an adult and have made adult choices,albeit outside the societal standard. We all hate disappointing our families and right...
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    A jealous ex

    Thank you for both your advice! :) I am strongly aware of keeping my own personal boundaries secure. Fortunately, I live in a separate city, so don't have to deal with the drama day to day. He wants to move the relationship with me forward, but I have told him that is unwise, considering the...
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    A jealous ex

    I am dealing with the following issue: My new polyamorous boyfriend was previously in a monoamorous relationship with a strictly mono partner, but it broke down because she was unwilling to let him spend time with other women or have female friends. It seems as if she initially accepted his...
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    Yet another Newbie..

    hey everyone,nice to meet you all! I've been reading this board on and off for a few days now and I'm very impressed with the openness and honesty of all of you! :) A bit about me...I always thought I was a mono and was brought up to believe in the traditional 'happily ever after' scenario of...
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