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Exactly! My slam wasn't toward private religious schools. I understand that often religious schools offer a very good education. My statement pertained to putting a child in that environment AND being open about a relationship configuration that is not well-accepted. Can you really make things...

While poly may have been the interest that kept you from giving the time to your daughter that she needed and deserved, it happens in mono households too. If the parents have too many commitments or are too self-absorbed the same thing can happen. A lot of kids feel a disconnect with their...

Just read "I Hate that My Parents are Poly." Well, duh! They have put their daughter in an untenable situation - openly poly while enrolling her in a Catholic school? Of course that is going to make it nearly impossible for the child. As I said, I don't have children, but in the relationship...

I haven't yet read the threads you referenced, but my parents had poly relationships when I was a kid of 10 -12 years old. I loved it! I loved having the extra adult around. I felt like I had another resource; I felt more secure. One of their lovers had a child. As an only child, I got a kick...

And maybe instead of feeling hurt that they haven't told him, instead you should appreciate how much they love you to have pursued this quad marriage with you all the while knowing their relationship with their son may be jeopardized by it.

While, I sympathize with the awkwardness when your partners' son is around, I don't think you should take it as a sign that your partners' hesitance to tell him should be taken as a sign of shame. Of course they love their son as much as you love your children. They fear his reaction. And what...

It's always so nice to read when someone is mindful about what is going on in his / her head and heart, and can articulate it in such way that the partner doesn't need to feel defensive and real, honest communication can occur. Yay! :D

Is there a time limit on the break? I ask because people with cognitive distortions as severe as Sonya's rarely act on the declaration that they want to fix themselves. Anyway, I am very sorry.

Your situation with the children is indeed vastly better. But I am sorry you are having to endure the break-up of your couple, as well. As for the ex-wife, I never see her at all. She doesn't speak to me. And really, after her awful behavior, I am okay with that. As for the children, I hadn't...

Brief backstory: In 2011, I joined a couple that seemed tight, but ultimately was not. In all fairness, they did not understand the significance of their own issues. The wife, Eden, was a walking, talking apparition of cognitive distortions. She presented well on the surface, put on a good face...

I suspect there is a spectrum and the majority of people could operate either way, depending on circumstances. However, I read an account here - sorry I don't remember who - in which the poster experienced falling out of love with her current partner if she tried to add an additional one - every...

It's a good question! There might be different things the OP could try (will add more to that idea later - work beckons), but she has to want to understand, and I am not sensing that is where she is at the moment. I agree some people do seem hard-wired for monogamy, but there is a certain...

Do you think it is possible that some of the angst is not about the poly, but related to her attack? Maybe you have some PTSD in regard to that, fearful that something is going to happen to her? I imagine that it probably is what you think it is, but wanted to throw that our there in case it is...

You are most welcome!

I am sorry you are having to endure Sonya's mindfuck. (Sorry, I can't think of a better term right now.) I was in a triad with a male / female couple. Without going into a long, drawn out story, suffice it to say the female reminds me a lot of Sonya. Facts did not matter her; the only thing...

Your wife has some dysfunctional coping methods. She reframes your honest feelings and explanations into something ugly in order to shut down the conversation and avoid dealing with the issues at hand. She chooses not to understand because she doesn't want to deal. All of these are avoidance...

I would offer this perspective: I suspect that a major part of your feeling of being left out is because you are not happy with the relationship with your husband. So when B isn't around all you feel is this huge lack. Since his marriage is good, he is happy when with his wife and happy when he...

You have logic and you have emotions. In my experience, if I logically believe something to be true, then I can work to change my emotional response. However, if I understand a premise, but I don't believe the premise, then it is impossible to change my emotional response. What I hear you...

Totally agreed.

While it may be true that in poly relationships one partner may fulfill needs that another doesn't, in my experience it is simply about loving more than one person. Think about your close friends. You no doubt love them all in some way, shape or form. They are all different and unique. And...