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It reminds me of Matthew McConaughey character in dazed an confused..."I keep getting older, they stay the same age." There's definitely some creep factor. It doesn't bother me as much with guys in their 20s who aren't that mature yet, but after about 25 with a teen and I start thinking ewww.

I'm sorry you seem so stuck in limbo. Also your cosplay was awesome!

I love your flow chart. I really enjoy seeing your process and your thoughtful way of reasoning out a tool that helps you and rider do poly in a way that works for you. I'm glad that my input was helpful as well. Playful

I check in on your blog on regular basis and I've read or skimmed most of it over time. I recognize that this is a thought exercise. What stood out (and has stood out) is not just the exploring of fear, but a sense that you are searching for evidence that supports your fear. I get that you...

I feel compelled to give you another perspective. I'm the non nesting co primary. Lady and I have a close but complicated relationship. I do sometimes become envious of their arrangement. There's times where being the historical live in partner would be fabulous. But I get history and it's...

I don't live there. I need my space. Just close by. I stay there 2 nights a week. Lady's previous gf lived there for 3 years. People just assumed she was a housemate. Very few folks ever asked about the third adult living there actually. By product of an urban area I guess. The kids just...

Real and lady have 2 kids 10 and 14. They know me as part of the extended family and that we all Co sleep at their house. The 14 year old has questions occasionally and they are answered honestly but without tons of detail about sex. She doesn't want to know that part. The kiddos friends and...

Feeling the need to point out...Stable fmf v here. 3.5 years...complete with individual couple and whole family events vacations etc. My theory on why we see more successful mfm vees is that the male wings are much less likely to face a spoken or unspoken desire/pressure to have to sleep/be...

I'm the unmarried nonchildbearing partner in vee. It's 3 years and going strong. Real splits time between households roughly 60/40 with the imbalance due to my mom care responsibility and his childcare responsibility. I'm not gonna say it's perfect all the time. We have blips and sometime...

Thanks for the replies. I needed help with phrasing. My current reserves are low so seeing reasonable ways to phrase my experience and concerns is helpful. Playful

So I'm partially venting here, partially thinking out how to address a hurt/unintentional status smack. So I care for my chronically ill mother. She had a planned major surgery today. Everything went fine. Real is terribly supportive of my mom care. He spent the last 2 night with me helping...

We recycle dates all the time. Real sees most movies twice. It's a totally different experience with a different person. That being said there are a few guidelines. Don't force one person to fit your other persons mold. He and lady and I all enjoy visiting the same picturesque town nearby...

I question why you feel the need to limit dag's exposure to your emotionality. Is it a you thing or a your relationship thing? For example, are you the sort of person who lets friends not see your low points? Or are you actively keeping this level of intimacy from your romantic entanglement...

Could it be that dag sees the medicating as a rejection or negation of the care and support he offered during your distress? Like his support wasn't good enough or wasn't helpful?

Haha hardly amazing. And as I said it's a mutual long term goal. Not a forgone conclusion. I think I'm just as hesitant about some stuff as you are just from the opposite side. Lady is much more of a communal living sort than me. She often has various family/friends who are experiencing...

You have my sympathies in living through depression times with Andy. They suck. And I can only imagine how draining it is. Back to the poly musing though... your fears of future relationships being disruptive are most probably unlikely given how you and Andy communicate to others about...

Many hugs bluebird. Grieving is always hard and it smacks you around when you least expect. It's 28 years since my dad died and many years I still struggle around the anniversary. It'll never go away totally, but you are managing well and you are surrounded by many people who love and...

I'm so sorry dag wasn't more sensitive to your wants re: deadpool. I know real has to often watch movies multiple times, but lady and I have the luxury of knowing and talking to each other about times when being "first" matter to us. My advice is don't wait go see it when you want and watch...

Just want to chime in as a single poly woman not opposed to more entanglement. I'm 40 I'd love real to live with me part time or to figure out a shared arrangement with him and lady. But I think about things like the three of us having a duplex or other multi family dwelling. I'm 40, I don't...

I don't live with my partners but I usually let real know when I'm home safe for the night. If our overnights are extending beyond original plans he texts lady to let her know. You know just common courtesy stuff. No rules around it if that is what the OP is asking.