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Maybe :) Yeah the fact that you feel so strongly about this might indicate that you do really care about them and there's nothing wrong with that.

First I think it's important to know what you want (I may have trouble with this sometimes myself...haha). Then know what you don't want. Make your profile about your interests but also include some deeper stuff...like if you're an introvert, if you're into politics, social justice, etc. Then...

I'm sure if you're their unicorn, then they want to be with you. Trust me, I bet they're thrilled to have someone cute and fun and eager to play with. ;)

Hi and welcome! So I assumed when you said you were "playing", that meant some form of sex. (I'm kinky too and consider everything I do with my wife to be sex, regardless of fluids or orgasms or how much a person is clothed or not) I'm guessing that you're just having the jitters and there's...

Yeah, I definitely don't list my kinks on my OKC profile either. Just putting on there that you are kinky will attract others who also are and then you'll have something to talk about later. That's the thing with kink, at least the stuff I'm into...you've gotta have trust. I would never let...

It's not "bad" to require your mate to be kinky because that's what you prefer. Definitely try and get what you want...I can assure you that there are plenty of kinky people out there. Remember, though, that there are tons of different kinks, so just saying "I'm kinky" doesn't really say much. I...

As an older woman who loves younger people, to me your age isn't an issue. Ha. However, I would never respond to or even message someone without a photo of themselves. I've seen pics of inanimate objects, a pet, a tree, a sailboat. I don't want to date a tree. Haha. I also don't think kinky is...

Thanks! Yeah, at some point I am going to have to get used to seeing her come home from a date, potentially all glowy and giddy and stuff. It's just something I need to work on.

So we discussed and revised our rules over the weekend. After talking with you guys I was able to figure out some boundaries that should work for now. My wife says she basically wants a friend with benefits. I talked about how I'm uncomfortable seeing her before/after a date, partly because of...

exactly! and monogamous relationships are not guaranteed to be successful either...plenty of people have issues in those.

Yes, thank you for writing that....I am working on my anxiety definitely and I have a therapist. She doesn't seem to understand poly stuff and has the attitude of "if it's so stressful, why are you doing it?" but she's really great in so many ways, so I hesitate to find someone else.

ooh thank you! I also loved the "poly hell" article as it exactly articulated how I was feeling!

Yeah it does take time! I think that's what I'm discovering...I'm not interested in just heavily dating people all the time...I'd rather just let things happen as they happen since I'm looking for more quality relationships and not just casual stuff.

Yeah, right now, the way I feel is that I would not be able to develop deep feelings for someone. This woman I want to meet seems really cool and we have things in common and we haven't discussed sex at all. I think she's poly and married, so I like the idea of someone who isn't so available...

I do too! I hate not only fluids, but I'm usually all sweaty and have something on me like lube or lotion or whatever's been going on. Ha. I just like to feel and smell clean.

Sorry for blowing up the board this morning, but it's really nice to talk to you guys about things. :) I recently posted a thread about how my wife and I were poly all along and suddenly I feel like I might be mono, but she's poly. She and I are in the process of trying to work out an...

Thanks...it definitely sounds like there's no one answer for everyone.

D, can you identify your feelings and why it bothers you so much? It sounds like you want her to be happy but don't like the situation at the same time. I can sorta relate because I had trouble when my wife was developing feelings for someone else but couldn't really figure out why I felt so bad...

Oh yes that's it! I would not want to be intimate with that other person, therefore I don't want to come in contact with their scent, etc. We've had threesomes before and it wasn't an issue at all. Thanks!

opalescent - no I don't think she's dirty, but she has some of her own personal core beliefs to that effect, from some childhood experiences, so she's really sensitive to the issue. I did ask the other day as delicately as I could and she said she would shower. I guess it seemed odd to me that...