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I was exactly the same!!! I was a terrible swinger because I kept developing feelings for my extra partners!! :) Thankfully Lovey has been so understanding and is willing to open this chapter.

Im so sorry. That sounds so hard. Because we both have kids, I don't do overnights with my secondary. Someday maybe but not right now. It would be too confusing for our kids who only know that we are friends. I miss my secondary a lot when we are not together. Its long distance so we don't...

You guys are all giving such amazing advice. It is so awesome to talk to people who understand what we are going through. We are definitely going to try some of these techniques. Lovey especially agreed with the comment about taking things at their face value and not feeling guilty. He wants...

Love and acceptance are very different things. Just because you love someone for who they are doesn't give them the right to hurt you. Nor does it give them the right to be toxic. For example, I have a temper. I get angry very quickly, burn real hot for a short period of time, and forgive...

I think taking a single sentence from an entire paragraph explaining my feelings about my metamours is faulty logic. You took my sentence and made it seem as if I was saying that this was true for every person in every situation. You also added the element of toxicity which is an exception to...

Just introducing myself. I have posted a few times and I already love this forum. It is the first place I can discuss poly without being judged and where there are actual people who post more than once a year!!! My name is DragonFly. I am 29 and I live in Wisconsin. Lovey and I have been...

To be fair he recognizes that this behavior isn't fair or rational. He just can't seem to get past it.

I think its awesome how many people who are open and accepted. Its not a position I am in. Because of my position in society, both for my career and my community positions, I can't be open. My close friends all know and while most of them don't "get it" they just accept it. My boyfriends...

I guess I don't think you have to love or care for your metamours, I think I have to... If that makes sense. My primary has flings and I don't meet them but neither do my children. I think its important to me that I have that relationship with my long term metamours. My boyfriend's wife had...

My primary partner has developed jealous feelings toward my secondary partner. We have talked about them extensively and determined triggers and ways I can avoid triggering them. My primary is my world. We plan to get married. I see my secondary one evening a week for just a couple hours. I...

I personally couldn't imagine not knowing my metamours and not having anything to do with them. For one thing, I have kids with my primary partner and my secondary partner has kids with his wife. I don't allow anyone around my children that I don't know. I met my boyfriend's wife after we had...

In my opinion, age and education mean different things and have different levels of importance to different people. I myself am highly educated and in my twenties. My primary partner is a couple years older than me and uneducated. My secondary partner and his wife are ten years older than me...

I know the feeling. The only people I have to talk to about day to day poly things are my partners and their wives. It can be a bit lonely in polyworld. Especially in the the rural midwestern area.