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Glad you had the conversation with L, and have ended it more firmly, and there's no more of this "casual sex" thing you were doing together as exes. It drags out the break-up and doesn't give emotional clarity. Best to be cordial coparents only and not be lovers anymore. If you don't need the...

My father acted like that and would shout that it was HIS house and we were HIS kids so we had to do what HE said. Some parents do not support their children's actual grown and independence. My question is what do you think? Over here? It is my house. I raised my kids to knock on bedroom...

Of course it is hard. First break-ups are like double load. It's not just breaking up with the person. It's dealing with a break-up for the first time ever. You don't even know how to take care of yourself, the things you like to have that comfort you, how long each stage of grief usually lasts...

I think it’s okay to leave the breakup as it is. It wasn’t a graceful ending, but now that it’s done, it should stay done. You two don’t really get along and aren’t compatible. The stuff about bonding over medical issues or video game habits isn’t the real issue. Trust was already broken before...

This is hard to read with initials. Could you please be willing to change to fake names? Maybe generic animals -- Koala (you), Dog(male) and Deer (female). I'm going to use those in my post, but I'm happy to change with what you want. I think you go ahead with your exit plan. Both you and your...

IS he dictating, though? Or just stating his own limitations? Like, you are free to develop this friend thing into a full-blown relationship if you want to, but if that's the case, Phil prefers to bow out, because he's only been dating you for 2 mos, and is only at the start of learning about...

I'm sorry this happened this way. In your other post from Feb you said she wanted to open and you did not. The decent thing to do with that kind of incompatibility would have been for her to break up politely with you first, before moving on. Your GF said she's emotionally monogamous and...

I can see this is hard for you. You have broken up twice with both of them, but keep drifting back. Maybe it is time to stop the drift, and develop stronger boundaries? E has ended things. He set a limit for himself: as long as you are involved with L, he cannot continue dating you. That’s his...

This sounds like a really important conversation for you. The fact that you were able to stay present, feel your anger, and not just fold into apologizing or smoothing things over for Max so he's comfy— that’s a big deal. It also sounds like you’re realizing that love alone isn’t enough for a...

Glad it helps you some. You can ask the couple therapist and the individual therapist. They will let you know if it's ok or not according to their policies. This is why I suggest you stop telling him new things. It's just new fuel for him to twist. I'm not saying to lie or be inauthentic...

You could date neither Ron nor Max. Be on your own for a while. See what the peace of being on your own as a healed person feels like. You've been dating Max 7 years, and if you are in your 30s now, were you in your early 20s when you started dating Max? Is he your first young adult...

I think you are going to have to set emotions aside and look at the actual behaviors. That may have been the case in the past. But lately Max is not nurturing. He's very controlling and moody and basically bad for your mental health. This is your goal -- developing healthier boundaries...

Tinwen is right to point that out. How MUCH to tell so it is enough for sex health/risk profile basics without getting into oversharing/TMI details So the updated agreements could include WHEN to tell updates. Like within a week of new contact and def before sharing sex with each other...

I'm glad it helped you some. Sometimes written is all one can do when apart. Maybe this helps you both. You can read it together. https://www.multiamory.com/radar Galagirl

Let me repeat back what I understand. You correct me if I’m getting it wrong, ok? You are in a poly relationship and are dealing with being apart for 4 months. The agreement is that both of you can see other people, even casually, and that you’ll “tell everything” about sexual health or changes...

Yes. Healthy people can do that, separate like that, because they take personal responsibility for their part in the situation-making. They know how to say "When you do ___, that makes me feel unconsidered. That upsets me. I'd prefer you do __ instead." They do not say "You slut! You piss me...

Why are you oversharing stuff from (you +Max) over on to (you + Ron?) You could have kept the date. Or you could have said, "Ron, I can't make it then. Can I call you next week with a better time?" instead. Ron can see you are too tangled up in Max. He's chosen to step away from the weird...

I'm so sorry you deal in this. It sounds super painful. :( Glad the resources help. I'm not sure you can talk to Max and get him to change if he doesn't think he has any problems and YOU are the problem. Well, is HE the narcissist? And he flips it around on you so he looks good in his mind...

Ugh. Yup. Messy sounding guy. I'm sorry you had to deal in his weird. Galagirl

So maybe since Max is never satisfied and has odd standards, it's ok to break up, since you didn't want primary-secondary anyway, and this is becoming a drag. Then you'd be free and wouldn't have to feel bad anymore. And you aren't an asshole. You are being slut-shamed/shamed because Max seems...