Search results

Redpepper and I had a great discussion today about the compromises we make to be together. This was sparked by some new posts around mono/poly relationships. One of the things brought up was her asking what if about relationships that have possibly passed her by due to our compromises. What...

It is quite common to see younger men engaging older women in sexual relationships and everyone has their reasons. There are great aspects to this and some less than positive ones. I'll offer my perspective on this based on my own experience. I have always been attracted to older older women...

Here's a cool quiz from Gabriela Martorell, Professor of Psychology. http://brainplate.blogspot.com/2010/03/whats-your-romantic-attachment-style.html Here's my basic result: Secure/Low Avoidance

I thought I would start a thread that has a sole purpose of explaining bits of ourselves. Originally I was going to call it Character Flaws and discuss certain aspects of my personality that are sometimes less than appreciated. That is too negative, too limiting and too much about me. I will...

I'm using myself as an example to take on this thread: Recently the issue of compromising on boundaries has come up for Redpepper and me. One of the ways I offered to create more freedom in her level of intimacy with Leo was for me to pull away from some group activities that we share as...

It's honesty time...and some aren't going to like it but what else is the forum for if not to put things out there that are real right? :o I'm not proud to say this and I don't quite know how to put this nicely but I definitely have a problem with judging certain life style choices..well one in...

OK, I know a lot of people have a hard time with labels but I needed to use a title that would be direct enough to capture the right audience. For any one who is in a relationship with an established couple (i.e. either by family commitment, marriage, co-habitation or long term togetherness)...

Redpepper and I just had a long talk over icecream and foruming and discovered the secret to happiness for poly and mono alike! Step 1 - All pollies gather with Red Pepper on the left. Step 2 - All monos gather with MonoVCPHG on the right. Step 3 - All people on the right turn to the person...

Thinking about dating a mono? Here’s one person’s perspective on some basic tips to make an informed decision. First ask yourself why you would do this in the first place. I mean, geez, you’ve read the stories on here. Now go smack yourself and find a poly! Kidding, kidding. ;) Are you hoping...

I often wonder if people in general have the strength to do what is right despite the initial pain it will cause. I was lying in bed beside Redpepper this morning, struggling with the idea that I am holding her back from other relationships with men. We have a good friend who she met at the...

I've seen several times on here that it seems harder for Poly men to find partners as opposed to poly women. I'm wondering why that is? I can hazard a guess and say more men are simply drawn to the sexual diversity aspect of polyamory. I could hazard another guess and say that men who are just...

When I was visiting my parents last week, I sat down with my sister and them for some great open discussion about Redpepper and family. One of the questions asked was specifically how I could share a woman physically with another man. I responded very simply that any person who engages in an...

Redpeper, Polynerdist, her son and I have become family. Full stop. We spend a great deal of time together and consistently work as a team to achieve family goals of various magnitudes. We enjoy our time together as a group as much as our time as individual couples. We have other people sharing...

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the idea of “community”. I have found it to be an area of dissatisfaction for me personally and I finally got the root of this issue after long discussions with Redpepper. I was feeling frustrated that it seemed as though the poly community was over...

I was talking to Redpepper about self discovery yesterday and this morning. I quickly jotted down how I go about learning things about myself. I'd like to hear about how others go about self discovery. My intent of this thread is not to stimulate debate or analysis of each others approach but...

I recently spoke to Redpepper about the concept that people could be sexually compatible but not compatible in their sexuality. In essence - they can have great sex together, enjoy a wide variety of things in one environment or situation but have very different interests in sexuality as a whole...

There is a lot of discussion about equality and rights in regards to the recognition of polyamorous relationships. Here in Canada there is a group of intervener’s trying to challenge an archaic law that addresses polygamy but is worded so broadly it could be used against any multi-partner...

Lately some of the people in our community have been ending some of their relationships for various reasons. I found myself having a problem with the choice of words being used to describe the change in their relationships. They refer to it as “breaking up”. This is a very common phrase used by...

Just quote it man!! Guilt is the scar tissue between my joints that prevents me from moving forward. Love won't conquer all but it will definitely make you brave enough to throw yourself into harms way just to see. The only difference between a fool and a hero is one attempts what seems...

Tips to avoid insanity: 1. Know when to take a break 2. Know when to agree to disagree 3. Pursue positive thinking, avoid the negative spiral 4. Practice acceptance, don't just preach it 5. Don't take things personally but treat others like they are in fact a person. 6. When all else fails go...