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In almost every case where one of us has had a girlfriend who didn't want to socialize or even meet the other one of us, they've turned out to be cowgirls. Obviously they didn't present that way up front or we'd have had nothing to do with them in the first place. We've learned to consider it...

First, kudos to your partner for recognizing the source of his jealousy. It's easier said than done, but do try to enjoy yourself when you're with your secondary. It does suck that he can't find anyone at the moment, but I hope both of you can recognize that his lack of success shouldn't impede...

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Pick a prize from the top row! It's amazing to me how few people can make that rather obvious distinction. Then again, most people see only what they want to see, so I guess it shouldn't be that surprising.

It sounds like he wants to get his house in order before moving forward with you. From what you've said, for your purposes, that's a better situation than "sure, come on 'round and jump on the old giggle stick!" Your initial reaction was most likely due to feelings of being "friend zoned," but...

Far be it from me to armchair diagnose, but this woman sounds like she may indeed be a narcissist. By that I don't mean just she's self centered, I mean that she may have some degree of NPD. Beyond that, everything else you've stated paints the picture of trouble waiting to happen. Not even...

Ah, you're approaching things from an Internet perspective. Certainly, pre-meeting someone on the 'net allows for the luxury of such an interview, meeting people in real life often does not. The obvious fact that one has no assurance of how accurate someone's online responses are and the...

From the way you worded your first paragraph, it does indeed sound like the potential meeting is being framed somehow as more of an inspection than simple interest in a partner's metamour. Of course you have the right of refusal. If pressed for an explanation, "I don't know why, I just don't...

Exactly. First date conversations shouldn't include a laundry list of every possible aspect of your life that someone else might find objectionable. We've all been on those, I'm sure, where the other party babbles out their entire life history before the third drink has been served. Did deeply...

While I certainly don't want to get in to an argument over semantics, I do have to note that if someone asks someone else out for a date that the very act announces and makes it quite clear that they're available for a date.

GalaGirl already hit the high points of what I was going to say, but here's my two cents... Are you sure that the Greek's "hot and cold" is actually a symptom of his not being able to handle not being mono with you? It may be just his nature, and that probably won't change even if you dropped...

Probably the best bit of advice I can give to anyone "new" to poly is that one really needs to view relationships as collaborations, not competitions. The urge toward competition is yet another wretched side effect of the mono mindset that really needs to be vanquished before one can relax and...

While I can certainly appreciate the merits of "full disclosure" of some salient points of ones life or lifestyle on a first date, you've already summed up the more important factor in your post. First dates aren't about picking out wedding invitations together, they're about getting to know...

What I think you're looking for there is a lady who is "polyflexible." If that's not a term sanctioned by the League of International Polyamorists, maybe it should be. Perhaps I'll submit it at the biannual summit. It certainly wouldn't be the first term to be given LIP service in the poly...

Poly or no poly, I don't see this ending well. Real life isn't a Lifetime movie of the week where it'll end with everyone mending hurt feelings and walking off to meet a bright new day. I'd say that if you decide to move forward with this, be prepared to lose Ben and most likely discover that...

As much as I loathe the phrase, it may be time to lawyer up. Your boss has most definitely created a 'hostile work environment' that you shouldn't have to endure. When one is specifically targeted for harassment (by the top boss no less) as you have been, it's time to cash out the job and move...

Alex, please do yourself a favor and re-read all of your responses to the various posters. Your story is there. You know what's going on and you don't like it. You're her unpaid domestic help and probable ATM (I assume with her partying schedule that she doesn't work or is minimally employed)...

Were you able to explain to the judge how it works?

It sounds like your boyfriend may be experiencing something akin to cognitive dissonance caused by the competing ideas of 'cheating' and 'open relationship.' It's not uncommon in the poly world, especially for those new to poly. You say he's been a cheater in the past, and one can assume that's...

If she didn't scamper off after a first-date discussion of BDSM and poly, she may indeed be a keeper. However, I think that you may be putting the cart before the horse here. Regardless of how intense your two-week fling was, three months apart can be a bit rough on a nascent relationship. Keep...

Raven is correct, poly is no more or less than what you want it to be. One of the great things about escaping (or simply lacking) the mono mindset is being able to acknowledge that relationships do change over time and deal with that issue in a non-destructive manner. Don't worry so much about...