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  1. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    I had a good date today. Went to my friend's house, we hung out and watched a cheesy kung fu movie, and he made lunch. We talked SO much! I had intended to get sexual, but unfortunately my oldest called me from home, and I had to cut the date short. Hubby had a seizure, and since he's off his...
  2. C

    Closing the door on poly

    Yeah, no kidding. I'm glad now that what happened to us, did. Yeah, it was tough, but it was a learning process, and holy shit did we get a poisonous person out of our life.
  3. C

    Closing the door on poly

    Holy SHIT. That woman just took it up another level. Apparently she contacted one of hubby's facebook friends to tell her that he was married, and had stopped seeing other people, and she needed to leave him alone because he was going to be with her. And then she CALLED her (the girl had left...
  4. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    Holy SHIT. That woman just took it up another level. Apparently she contacted one of hubby's facebook friends to tell her that he was married, and had stopped seeing other people, and she needed to leave him alone because he was going to be with her. And then she CALLED her (the girl had left...
  5. C

    Closing the door on poly

    Really, the real issue was the clinginess. I think that had she been a healthier partner, the sleep talking would have bothered me less, and he overreacted out of his own guilt. It was like taking the cap off of a pressure valve, and it triggered a lot that was building up. The decision to...
  6. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    So, today. Today is much, much better. We've spent the last two days talking. We've rooted around to find the cause of the meltdown. Instead of facing two options, monogamy or divorce, we've talked out what happened. The post mortem? That woman is CRAZY. It's harsh, but a bit true. She's...
  7. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    "Supposed" to be okay is the operative word. He told me to go ahead, but he didn't mean it. He felt cornered and pressured, and it was his attitude just to say "fuck it" and be done. I knew he wasn't okay with it, and did it anyway. (Ex is decidedly unaffected. Through a great deal of hindsight...
  8. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    Yes. That without any qestion.
  9. C

    Closing the door on poly

    But we don't, generally. This was a decidedly freaky situation. He's been through one other breakup, and it was not sudden, nor was it unfriendly. We are both learning this process, and yes, we're messing up. We're also learning from our mistakes. That doesn't mean we're doomed to repeat them...
  10. C

    Closing the door on poly

    You are so, so right! No one told me, but I deluded myself. I'm generally not a jealous person, but this was definitely an event I wasn't prepared for. I am already feeling better about it now, thankfully, especially since we have talked about everything and why it upset me, and we have a plan...
  11. C

    Closing the door on poly

    So now that we've had some time to discuss things (an overnight trip has helped), we've decided to slow things down; rather than closing the door, we're going to take a break from actively dating, and instead just stick to talking to the two people we've been talking to recently. Part of the...
  12. C

    Closing the door on poly

    I feel for her too; I really do. But that doesn't change how I feel. I wouldn't have thought it would bother me (I'm genuinely not a jealous person.) I was wrong.
  13. C

    Closing the door on poly

    Originally, yes. However, he's been the only one seriously dating at all. He is also the one who is finding he's unwilling to give it up easily. Hes taken to it like a duck to water. He had wanted to be gentle, and continue to be friends, but she has made this completely impossible with her...
  14. C

    Closing the door on poly

    She definitely wasn't. It was the final straw, I think; she's been excessively needy. Obsessively so, in fact. Calling 6-8 times per day, and if he missed a call, she'd start ringing every number she had and sending panicky text messages wanting to know what was wrong (this is extra annoying...
  15. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    So hubby confessed that he already wishes we could go back because he has a chance to fuck a 20 year old. He isn't asking, and he feels skeezy about it. But at least this is honesty. I told him that it's perfectly okay to have thoughts and wishes; it's just a fantasy. I don't even mind if they...
  16. C

    What to do when your'e dating both of them & then they break up

    I really agree. I think honestly you were being used as a convenient sex toy; some couples are into that. There's even a name for the female version of cuckolding, but I can't recall what it is. None of this sounds like a respectful treatment of you as a person, nor the good beginning of a...
  17. C

    Closing the door on poly

    Thanks. I don't know what the future holds, but we're going to face it together no matter what. And we've promised each other no matter what, we're still each others' best friend.
  18. C

    Closing the door on poly

    Last night, my husband woke me up by snuggling up close, wrapping his arms around me, kissing me gently like he never does, and whispering in my ear, "I love you, Susan*" Touching me, stroking my shoulder. Three times, over 10 minutes. Now he was clearly asleep; he kept falling limp and...
  19. C

    Rolling in the Deep

    Well, drama yes. Poly no. Last night, my husband woke me up by snuggling up close, wrapping his arms around me, kissing me gently like he never does, and whispering in my ear, "I love you, Susan*" Three times, over 10 minutes. Now he was clearly asleep; he kept falling limp and snoring...
  20. C

    Metamour in pain... can I help?

    That's what kills me, Dagferi. This person, objecting on religious, moral grounds, is effectively verbally abusing her daughter because of the situation. How is that better than just shutting your damn trap and letting your grown mother of two children daughter live her own life? I don't get...
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