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    Secondary Travels

    I am reading some other blog threads here and just started on "Flying Solo". http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51028 I am interested what has come up and how it was handled. The first blog post was about "rules" that her bf and his primary set down. I was reading them and...
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    Secondary Travels

    Well, I learned my lesson. The NRE was great. Lots of fun and what a way to get back into the saddle of interacting with people. I had been on a desert for years and just jumped into the deep end thinking I would remember how to swim. I did remember a little and then I remembered more and...
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    Secondary Travels

    I just can't believe it. Things were set for us to meet next week. Next tuesday night for dinner. He is going to the neurologist today. I texted him "hope the appt goes well" this morning and got no response. Then tonight, a text asking what I was up to tonight. Well, I had already made plans...
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    Secondary Travels

    Well, it's not over yet. After a long talk with a very close friend, she told me that she knows me too well and that I need to have some definite closure. So I sent this. I would really like some processing or even closure on this. I am confused and it though it feels like it is done, I am...
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    Secondary Travels

    Yes. Pretty much what you said in the bolded. That was what was described to me but not what has panned out. So onward and upward.
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    Secondary Travels

    Update and musings. Update is basically I have still not seen or met with D and he seems to still be too sick to meet. I can't even get a chance to come down and sit and talk to him and his wife to try and figure it all out and to have a closing process. There has been very sporadic texting...
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    Secondary Travels

    THE good thing is, I am not turned off by the thought of another poly relationship or even being a secondary again. I am going to think of it as a learning process. And I know a lot more about what I need in a relationship and what I don't need so that I can go forward from here. I am...
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    Secondary Travels

    What I woke up wanting to say - "Who are you to treat me like this? it is not what we discussed and processed through at the start. Not the relationship you said you were looking for. To be honest, I don't think you can handle a secondary or a girlfriend because you are so tied to your primary...
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    Secondary Travels

    Actually you are all saying exactly what my one side of my brain has been saying. It's the other side that is still....hoping. And this is NOT the life I want. I do not want to be hanging and waiting. You are right Kevin, there is a certain amount of contact and commitment that I want/need...
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    Secondary Travels

    I guess I am pining. I guess I am a little bit. I will get past it though. As I said I am already chatting with two others. I am going to a social party tomorrow (early halloween). Thoughts of him are not consuming every moment of my time, but I think what I really would like is some...
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    Secondary Travels

    I have been chatting with two other guys on okcupid. They are not poly so it's not exactly what I am looking for but they are nice. One looks like Samwell from Game of thrones (or hodor jr.). I am not ready - quite - to give up on D and our relationship but my feelings have been basically put...
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    Secondary Travels

    The longer the time the more depressed I am getting. So, I saw him saturday night for a brief dinner. Sunday was another day of him saying "I'll be up" then "oh I dont feel good, going to take a shower" then "I am just going to bed". So another whole day of me hanging on. Then nothing. Then...
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    Secondary Travels

    Maybe that is the difference. It was said from the beginning that I was a second. And as I have said, for the most part I am okay with that. I do my own things and have a pretty busy life. I had a husband for 17 years and have been a widow for 7 years. I have learned to be single, but I still...
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    Secondary Travels

    Dinner was almost canceled. He called to say he was not up to driving. I said, hey how about I bring it down to you. He told me that was sweet but he didn't want me to expect anything because he still wasn't feeling good. I took some stuff I had already cooked up and it's a 20 minute drive...
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    Secondary Travels

    Thanks for the hug. This hasn't been long. Enough that I can pretty much count the dates with two hands. We met beginning of July, and had one date and then went into a meet with wife, get things talked about with all three of us and I thought things were cool. Then we got together twice on...
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    Secondary Travels

    I really just needed to vent. I am in a state of mixed emotions and just want him to feel better, and also want to be able to help him somehow. I feel so helpless when I get the plans set and then they get canceled. I know, I know it happens. I have been thinking about what if it was me. :( I...
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    Secondary Travels

    So here I am. Home. Alone. For the last few days we have been planning to have the weekend together. First it was friday night, then I got an email saying he was wrong, it needs to be saturday night. Fine. No biggie. Then I got an email a day later saying that his place is a mess with halloween...
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    Secondary Travels

    I think just coming here to get the emotion out and write things so that I can clear my head helps a lot. Along with input from others that may have experienced this. I am glad for this forum.:)
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    Secondary Travels

    I have just started using the calendar on my phone. Not quite up to speed on google calendars but was going to throw it out as a suggestion. I did take a proactive step and emailed to let him know what to expect from me time wise this weekend. I let him know I had a commitment in the morning...
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    Secondary Travels

    Thanks for the input. You know some of getting it right in my head is just being able to type it out, formulate the thought and figure out whether it is an issue that is overworked in my head (overthinking is something I do well) or something that needs to really be addressed. Vinccenzo - the...
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