3 months into polyamorous relationship

[Joe]

Hi Everyone,
My name is Joe. Newer to the lifestyle. Still learning the ropes. I have a wife and a transgender girlfriend who also has a wife. Last night they celebrated there wedding anniversary and invited me to join them.

My girlfriends wife is such a sweetheart I love her and how comfortable she has made me feel and opening her heart and home to me. We recently had a discussion about our dynamic and kind of hit a brick wall lol we don't know what to call each other.

But last night she referred to me as a built in husband i'm not familiar with this term. Could somebody please explain. Could not find it anywhere online.

Thank you very much hope you're having a blessed 2021

 

[icesong]

I've never heard that before either; I think that's something your girlfriend's wife phrased herself so you'll have to ask her what she meant.

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings Joe,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Built-in husband is not a standard term in the poly vernacular. I think what your girlfriend's wife meant to say is that you are the male in the composite relationship, which makes you "the only husband" in that polycule. To use more standard terminology, you would say that she (your girlfriend's wife) is your metamour, and you are her metamour. Of course, all of these are just words; words only have the meaning that their users assign to them. It's more important what kind of relationship you have with your metamour, than it is what you call that person.

Let us know if you have any more questions.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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