A Hey from Helix

Helix

New member
Hi there, everyone. My name is Helix, and I found my way here in my own soul searching and need for some help from some friendly poly folk who have already walked this path.

I am a 23-year-old female in a committed, loving relationship with the man of my dreams. We've been married for nearly three years now, and I couldn't be happier with him. However, I started having foreign feelings about a half year or so into our marriage, like there was room for one more person in our life. I'd been very confused about it, but pushed the feelings to the side, after telling my husband about them. He's always been very supportive, much more accepting of the fact that I am poly than I am, as I'm just sort of lost in my confusion.

(I'm going to apologize now, if I sound like I'm rambling or am not making any sense. I just need to get this out there.)

In the last week or so, things have gotten even more confusing and scary for me. One of my husband's greatest friends has come back into his life after a few years of them searching for each other, and I am starting to fall for him... very, very hard. Of course, it's not quite a feeling that rivals that which I have for my primary man, but it's a very strong feeling. Honestly, it's been a terrifying experience for me, on some levels. I told my husband all about my developing feelings for his friend, and he is, as always, extremely supportive, and said he is all for me pursuing another relationship with this man. I just... haven't quite accepted the fact that I can feel such a strong love for more than one man yet, I guess, and again... it just confuses me so much. He's wonderful and supportive and is all for me going after this guy, and I'm just lost?

Then there comes the real problem. Yes, this man is single. Yes, this man is seeking a girlfriend. No, this man does not realize how gorgeous and funny and sweet he is. But... I'm so scared to try pursuing him because, well, what if he isn't interested in polyamory, or in me? I don't want to scare away my husband's best friend, especially right after they reconnected after so long.

I'm sorry for making this so long, but this is my situation in a nutshell. If I should provide more information on myself rather than just my situation, please let me know, and I will be happy to post more. I suppose I'm mainly here to seek advice from those wiser, though.
 
I can't offer much wisdom, but I can identify with your feelings. My husband isn't so open as yours (he's poly friendly...just not for himself) but my intended SO is his brother and best friend which adds a whole new level of 'oh dear' :eek: Just wanted to say hi, good luck, you're not alone. :)
 
Greetings Helix,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Since your husband is in favor of you getting to know this friend of his, I am in favor of getting to know him, and of whether he is in favor of polyamorous relationships.

It seems to me that you are in the process of figuring out whether poly is right for you. I am hopeful that Polyamory.com can guide you in that area. Just let us know if you have have any questions.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thank you both so much for the welcome! Hopefully I can learn a thing or two about polyamory and about myself. ^_^
 
Back
Top