A New Guy in the Community

M

matt91cali

New member
Hello to you all! My name is Matt, and my Wife and I have been in the Lifestyle (Swinging came first) for a little over 3 years. I myself a little less than she, but still around 3 years.

Now, my reasons for joining this community forum is for research purposes and for asking questions and requesting advice, as well as just joining discussions that I find resourceful. I am very much looking forward to chatting and discussing topics with the community. Thank you for reading!

EDIT: I realized I did miss some key information about myself and my situation. I myself am straight, while my Wife is bisexual. We were in a Swinging relationship for the majority of the 3 years within the Lifestyle, while keeping our marriage somewhat Monogamous. At some point, a Lifestyle club we started going to started hosting what is known to us as 'Fet Night.' An educational 1 hour discussion and Q&A session for a variety of Lifestyle topics. One such Fet Night hosted a Polyamorous discussion. And my Wife, who did have a Friend With Benefits at the time highly encouraged herself and I to attend the club that night. Of course, discussions about Polyamory followed between my Wife and I, as well as her FWB. Long story short - She was 'dipping her toes in the water' of Polyamory, or having a boyfriend, without actually identifying herself as such. A few months down the road, here we are. She has now officially identified herself as Polyamorous. I myself have never identified myself as Monogamous or Non-Monogamous throughout our time together, as I am still learning new things about myself as we explore these paths.

Again, I thank all who read this and am looking forward to further discussions and any advice that I inevitably will seek as this new relationship has developed within our marriage.
 
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Hi Matt, and welcome to the Forum! We have a number of experienced poly folks here who are generally friendly and helpful so please do not hesitate to post any specific questions and thoughts that you may have.

There are a number of good books available on the various aspects of poly but several of us believe that Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino to be the best general introduction to polyamory. (Available in hard copy or digital from Amazon et al.)

Also, here is is a link to a list of several of the best poly web sites:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191


Again, welcome!

Al
 
Al99 said:
Hi Matt, and welcome to the Forum! We have a number of experienced poly folks here who are generally friendly and helpful so please do not hesitate to post any specific questions and thoughts that you may have.

There are a number of good books available on the various aspects of poly but several of us believe that Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino to be the best general introduction to polyamory. (Available in hard copy or digital from Amazon et al.)

Also, here is is a link to a list of several of the best poly web sites:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108191


Again, welcome!

Al
Click to expand...

Thanks Al, I appreciate your welcoming response as well as your recommendations for further research.

While my Wife and I are in 'kind of' a good spot. By that, I mean issues have come to light and have been discussed. Whether or not the issues have been fully dealt with or resolved has yet to be known to us both. All involved are aware of it, but we all have yet to have a discussion together as a whole. Reasons for which, I am certain I will post in the 'input and advice' section of the forum. I do research a LOT on my situation, as I know changes are to be made and agreed upon. But also so I have that knowledge and can approach a given situation appropriately. I have approached things in the past in a not-so-good way. But that's what motivates me to research more and more, because when I realize I've approached an issue irrationally, I then show the willingness to research and improve to change my approach for the better.

Thanks again for your resourcefulness, Al.
 
Greetings Matt,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Your intro posts look good, now for the input and advice part and for that, you may want to post in Poly Relationships Corner, where you can generally get the most responses from the widest variety of people. General Poly Discussions is also a good place to post. You are wise to read and post and do research, there is a lot you can learn about polyamory, and this forum is a wonderful place to build a foundation. Glad you could join us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
kdt26417 said:
Greetings Matt,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Your intro posts look good, now for the input and advice part and for that, you may want to post in Poly Relationships Corner, where you can generally get the most responses from the widest variety of people. General Poly Discussions is also a good place to post. You are wise to read and post and do research, there is a lot you can learn about polyamory, and this forum is a wonderful place to build a foundation. Glad you could join us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Click to expand...

Thanks Kevin, I have posted my full story and situation in the respective category you've provided. I'll leave the link below, but do beware as it is a very long post. Thanks again for your response.


http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128247
 
Hi Matt,

I read your new thread, following the link you provided here, and posted my own response in addition to the others. To summarize, sometimes you have to decide whether you can live with an unfair or unbalanced situation, you may find that some battles are not worth the casualties. Anyway, have a look at my post there, as well as an extra look at the others' recent posts.

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
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