Advice for older polyamorists seeking partners


New member
Ever since I hit my 60's, I've felt like a pariah when it comes to (trying to) date. It may be there are other factors coincidental to that such as a pandemic and changes to people's behavior as a result. I've moved to a strategy of attending meetups so that I can be more present and available as a human being instead of just a profile story and pictures. A guy at one meetup, half my age, indicated the same poor result for himself from dating apps so age as a handicap may not be that big a thing. I've tried advertising for dance partners, with an offer of a lesson, completely platonic with no interest. I'm wondering if anyone has other suggestions. My wife and her partner are taking off for a couple of weeks and I'd like to find another partner.
Hello Mark,

For the most part, my experience and observation has been that finding people to date is hard for people of all ages, especially for men, and even more so for poly men. I don't know why you have hit a cold spell after you turned sixty, maybe you're right that the pandemic has something to do with it. I do think your approach is right, you are getting out there and meeting people in person, and that's what you need to do. Attending more live events -- clubs, classes, anything that interests you -- and fringe events may be even better -- Ren Faires, BDSM munches, sci-fi cons, indie concerts -- again whatever things interest you -- is always a good idea. I think your past experience has been fueled by super good luck; what you need now is patience. Patience for the slow process of making new friends, and the even slower process of some friendships blossoming into something romantic.

Not that dating apps are useless. People do often have luck in that area. I just think that meeting people in person tends to be the better way to go. Or at least it's something to do in addition to participating on one or more dating apps. And whether you meet people online or IRL, the most likely path to a romance is via friendship. As I said, such is my observation and experience. It's a gradual process, it takes a lot of patience.

Hopefully others will post here with more ideas. I know I'm not exactly the bearer of good news here. I do hope your luck in finding partners improves.

Kevin T.