Recently, I spent a couple of years living and working overseas (I'm American) with my wife & kids. We had to come back to the States fairly unexpectedly and suddenly last year, which is something we were all sad about. Fortunately, in about a month I'm going to be going back for a few days – just me, no wife or kids.
I have a dear friend we made while living there who I was ALWAYS really attracted to. I never acted on it because at the time my wife and I were still in the "talking about it" phase of opening our marriage.
Since it was clear I was going to get to visit again, my wife and I have been talking about my friend, and whether I should see if she's interested in hooking up. I've definitely decided that I do *want* to ask her.*It's just the *how* that I'm trying to sort through. A few relevant pieces of information:
1) As I mentioned us having an open marriage is a new thing for us so I'm not experienced with this.
2) My main concern is that I could freak out my friend and mess up our friendship. Based on all I know about her, I don't*think this would happen...but I still worry because she means a lot to me.
3) My friend doesn't know about our open marriage. Oh and she's also good friends with my wife, though she was friends with me first.
My instinct is to wait and see if there's an opening in a conversation with her where it would be natural to bring up the open marriage, and see where that goes. but, since my trip is only about a month away, and I don't get a chance to talk to her too much (time zones are very different) so in that case I might just keep on waiting until it's too late. I *do* want to talk to her before I go.
Any advice on how best to handle this? How can I bring up the topic in a natural way? If you've been in a similar situation, how did you approach talking to your friend and how did it work out?
I have a dear friend we made while living there who I was ALWAYS really attracted to. I never acted on it because at the time my wife and I were still in the "talking about it" phase of opening our marriage.
Since it was clear I was going to get to visit again, my wife and I have been talking about my friend, and whether I should see if she's interested in hooking up. I've definitely decided that I do *want* to ask her.*It's just the *how* that I'm trying to sort through. A few relevant pieces of information:
1) As I mentioned us having an open marriage is a new thing for us so I'm not experienced with this.
2) My main concern is that I could freak out my friend and mess up our friendship. Based on all I know about her, I don't*think this would happen...but I still worry because she means a lot to me.
3) My friend doesn't know about our open marriage. Oh and she's also good friends with my wife, though she was friends with me first.
My instinct is to wait and see if there's an opening in a conversation with her where it would be natural to bring up the open marriage, and see where that goes. but, since my trip is only about a month away, and I don't get a chance to talk to her too much (time zones are very different) so in that case I might just keep on waiting until it's too late. I *do* want to talk to her before I go.
Any advice on how best to handle this? How can I bring up the topic in a natural way? If you've been in a similar situation, how did you approach talking to your friend and how did it work out?
