Am I in the wrong?

[breathemusic]

OP, there is nothing about your entire situation that isn't a HUGE RED FLAG to me.

You're dating this guy, but I can't tell from your posts if you're trying to form a V shaped relationship where his other g/f is just your metamour, or if you're trying to form a triad where you are all dating each other. But no matter which configuration you pick, your relationship with him is your relationship with him and she's not the boss of that. Having someone tell you and your b/f whether you can kiss? ew. nope. Are you consenting to her being a Dom to both of you? Cause unless you are, she doesn't get to make those choices.

Personally I think all 3 of you should probably pick up a few books and articles and do a whole bunch of reading about polyamory before you go any further. You're setting yourself up for some serious hurt.

 

[Magdlyn]

I know young people can be kinky and want to do kink. I love kink. I was always kinky. But kink can be confusing, difficult and even dangerous, emotionally and physically. And I know young people can be polyamorous, or want Open relationships. But Open relationships can be confusing, difficult, and even dangerous, emotionally.

So try to be open to learning from others, here and elsewhere, who are more experienced, in kink and in Open relationships. And from the excellent links provided here.

You've just started seeing this guy. I see you're calling him Boyfriend here, and Daddy in real life. But how is he your boyfriend? You haven't had sex(?), "can't kiss," and you're not into a DD/lg thing, so even calling him Daddy is confusing.

Maybe you should nickname him Logan or Mason or something. He's not really your boyfriend, by any stretch.

And the other gal, she may be HIS girlfriend, but she's not yours. You haven't met. (BTW, it's not necessary to meet a metamour, much less become good friends or lovers or kink playmates.) And as others have said, you're not IN THEIR relationship. You're dating or scening with the guy. You chat with the other gal. Maybe you should nickname her Emma or Charlotte or something.

They don't know what they're doing as far as polyamory. If you can't kiss the guy, or have sex, and aren't allowed feelings, just kink play (of some kind), well then, it's not even polyamory. Amor implies love, or any degree of affection, is consented to, and even encouraged. Polyamory means multiple loves. It doesn't mean "kink playmates who don't/can't have sex or kiss."

As far as actual D/s play, it's perfectly reasonable to have one Dom and 2 subs in a scene. Or 2 Doms/Tops and one sub. Or whatever. I know of plenty of subs who consider themselves sisters in service to one Dom. Nothing wrong with that! If 2 subs are completely sub, they can't play together just the two of them, because each one will wait for the other to lead, and nothing will happen lol I've found it's even hard for 2 subs to go do something non-kink related together, they just can't get organized. For example; my gf is subby, and one of our platonic friends is too, so when the 3 of us are together, I lead as far as making planning decisions, keeping everyone organized, on topic and on time, etc.

I could go on, but I'd just be repeating what others have said, more or less.