RiverGoddess
New member
My partner works away. There is no cell service or telephone where he works - nothing but a bit of of spotty satellite wi-fi.
When he is away in camp, we chat via IM each night for a while before bed. It isn't a "requirement", but something we both enjoy as we are very close, and both big communicators. It has been this way for years and very rarely does one of us miss out on this connection time.
If one of us is going to be unable to chat, we usually schedule an earlier time in the day to connect or have a quick IM exchange late in the evening. Sometimes we just send each other an e-mail update of the day to be replied to at a later time.
Tomorrow is the first time that he is staying overnight at his new girlfriend's house. He is stopping in to see her on his way home from his rotation away. It will be the first time my partner has slept over at any woman's house outside of our relationship (while I am at home - it only happened once before and it was while I was away on vacation).
It took me a few weeks of processing to get comfortable with this, and he knows that I feel like I need lots of love and affection during the before-and-after time of this first overnight visit.
I am already well aware that we won't be chatting tomorrow night, as he will be on his date, so this evening I showed up ready to connect and have a nice loving conversation.
Except, he didn't show up.
Not even a check in, a hello...
I am sure he must have a good reason, like the wi-fi being down or something - but now I feel like I've been left hanging, since I didn't get that loving communication and connection time that I was anticipating, and now I won't hear from him until after his date. (Unless he calls me from her house, which is unlikely. I don't expect to hear from him at this point).
I feel angry and I want to jump to the conclusion that he is being super inconsiderate. I'm sure that can't be true though. I was feeling relatively comfortable about this date, like I was as ready for it as I could be; but now I feel a bit uneasy and have a bit of hard feelings about not being supported in the way that I had expressed I needed.
Like I said, I am sure he has a good reason. He must.
I mostly just needed a place to vent my feelings. I didn't want to express anger towards him via IM, because that wouldn't feel good for him to read before going into his date (should he receive them before then). I just expressed worry/concern, and that I missed our special connection time.
I have made plans for tomorrow night to fill up my time and stay occupied. I am going to have a walk, dinner, and crafting time with a friend.
I am simply experiencing disappointment, slight worry, a bit of anger, and a general feeling of 'not-cool, man'. This could have been otherwise totally a neutral or even pleasant experience. I am sure I can still make it that if I temper my feelings and breathe.
I will go to sleep now and try to feel better about it in the morning. However, there is a heaviness in my heart. I look forward to hearing the explanation for this.
Thanks for listening.
When he is away in camp, we chat via IM each night for a while before bed. It isn't a "requirement", but something we both enjoy as we are very close, and both big communicators. It has been this way for years and very rarely does one of us miss out on this connection time.
If one of us is going to be unable to chat, we usually schedule an earlier time in the day to connect or have a quick IM exchange late in the evening. Sometimes we just send each other an e-mail update of the day to be replied to at a later time.
Tomorrow is the first time that he is staying overnight at his new girlfriend's house. He is stopping in to see her on his way home from his rotation away. It will be the first time my partner has slept over at any woman's house outside of our relationship (while I am at home - it only happened once before and it was while I was away on vacation).
It took me a few weeks of processing to get comfortable with this, and he knows that I feel like I need lots of love and affection during the before-and-after time of this first overnight visit.
I am already well aware that we won't be chatting tomorrow night, as he will be on his date, so this evening I showed up ready to connect and have a nice loving conversation.
Except, he didn't show up.
Not even a check in, a hello...
I am sure he must have a good reason, like the wi-fi being down or something - but now I feel like I've been left hanging, since I didn't get that loving communication and connection time that I was anticipating, and now I won't hear from him until after his date. (Unless he calls me from her house, which is unlikely. I don't expect to hear from him at this point).
I feel angry and I want to jump to the conclusion that he is being super inconsiderate. I'm sure that can't be true though. I was feeling relatively comfortable about this date, like I was as ready for it as I could be; but now I feel a bit uneasy and have a bit of hard feelings about not being supported in the way that I had expressed I needed.
Like I said, I am sure he has a good reason. He must.
I mostly just needed a place to vent my feelings. I didn't want to express anger towards him via IM, because that wouldn't feel good for him to read before going into his date (should he receive them before then). I just expressed worry/concern, and that I missed our special connection time.
I have made plans for tomorrow night to fill up my time and stay occupied. I am going to have a walk, dinner, and crafting time with a friend.
I am simply experiencing disappointment, slight worry, a bit of anger, and a general feeling of 'not-cool, man'. This could have been otherwise totally a neutral or even pleasant experience. I am sure I can still make it that if I temper my feelings and breathe.
I will go to sleep now and try to feel better about it in the morning. However, there is a heaviness in my heart. I look forward to hearing the explanation for this.
Thanks for listening.
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