Any "straight laced" folks on here?

T

threesnocrowd

New member
Hey Guys,

We have been on here for a while. We were wondering if there were other professional, fashion-loving, "straight-laced" folks on here. The stereotype is that poly folks are goth or a little odd. That's what we hear, anyway. I'm sure there are all types out there, from the gamers, to the nerdoids and dweebs, to the suburban soccer moms and dads.

Can you describe your "style," if you have one? We are just curious.

We will start. We are both professionals, love nice clothes and food. We'd look very "normal" if you saw us on the street.

What about you guys?

P.S No offense is meant by this question. Sorry if any is taken.
 
threesnocrowd said:
What about you guys?
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I have not noticed a trend when it comes to the styles of poly folk. We probably have the same percentage of goth/jock/nerd/yuppie as the monogamous population.
 
My partner and I are farmers. Given the rural area we live in, we look perfectly normal in jeans with dirt-encrusted knees and baggy sweatshirts with pouches full of tools. We wouldn't know fashion if it hit us over the head with a rolled up Vogue magazine.
Your question makes me wonder if you are asking if there is an ethical non-monogamy version of gaydar. I'm so new here I have no idea, but I tend to doubt there is. :)
 
I'm a business owner and professional. My husband is blue-collar. Married 20+ years, we're very responsible and live the "typical" middle-class lifestyle, or at least what likely appears that way from outward appearances. The couple we are involved with are both professionals, as well. We all dress well (but casually), enjoy eating out, enjoy travel, and do all the "normal" things friends do together--ski, hike, spend holidays together, go to movies, enjoy camping, etc. Though none of us would fit well into the corporate world, that is more of a matter of our attitudes and independence than our style or the way we present ourselves. We're all just the "couple next door." Nobody would ever guess.

I don't really know any other poly people. Just us. So I'm not really sure if we're the norm or not.
 
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I definitely fall into the "little odd" category. A little goth influence in my personal style, very queer and proud, geeky, don't shave my legs, used to have a mohawk, couldn't care less about what's fashionable or popular, spend some of my time slumming it with punks in squat houses. At the same time, I'm a young urban professional, I work for the local municipal government, have my own office with a door.
 
I don't really thing of myself a poly, but open.

I am a successful poet and disability activist. I consider myself "the norm" for a poet. I'm not a corporate person, nor in academia, but I spend my life reading and writing. I am totally interested in fashion. I live in NY and love Bill Cummingham and Anna Winthrop. I am a regular Times style section reader. My own style is quirky and sloppy, dresses over pants, that sort of thing.

My family is considered "eccentric," but primarily because I have a disability, and am an intellectual, and my son constantly sings show tunes, and we have way too many pets. We don't fit in the corporate world, and certainly don't listen to Joy Division, but I think in the realm of Brooklyn artist, we fit in.
 
I'm boring, and sometimes I wear pajamas when i go out of the house.

Are there any other poly people like me?
 
I rode bulls and the wife raced barrels. Now, we generally farm, and we raise dairy cows. You'll seldom find us not in Wranglers and boots! Lol

I'm not sure what fashion consists of nowadays. We wear what suits us and how we live.
 
AnnabelMore said:
I definitely fall into the "little odd" category. A little goth influence in my personal style, very queer and proud, geeky, don't shave my legs, used to have a mohawk, couldn't care less about what's fashionable or popular, spend some of my time slumming it with punks in squat houses. At the same time, I'm a young urban professional. I work for the local municipal government, have my own office with a door.
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:D So much love to all the things you listed. Love being geeky and queer and proud and hairy.
 
I prefer style over fashion. I have an absolute disdain for the fashion industry. But I love Project Runway. Basically, for me, it's all about the creativity. I don't think of myself as straight-laced, but others probably see me that way. At heart, I am a Bohemian.

I would say that the stereotypes you've heard about people who practice polyamory are quite inaccurate, because they're likely based on a very narrow slice of the general population. Poly isn't that weird. It's just a simple thing, really.

Nobody needs to be weird to manage having more than one love relationship. People have been doing it for centuries and considered quite normal, only it was cheating, not polyamory. All polyamorists do is lift the veil of deception and accept/embrace what's going on!
 
It occurs to me that the stereotype probably exists because it's the people who are already seen as weird who are the most upfront about being poly, because they have nothing to lose, and it's the people who have the most invested in seeming "normal" who are the most guarded about being poly.
 
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Also, the "weirdos" (please note the quotation marks) the kinksters and queers and members of certain subcultures, may simply be exposed to the concept of polyamory earlier than those who are otherwise part of more heteronormative, "normal" (again quotation marks) social circles; thus finding ground to identify with, or maybe having access to resources earlier.
 
threesnocrowd said:
We were wondering if there were other professional, fashion-loving, "straight-laced" folks on here. The stereotype is that poly folks are goth or a little odd. That's what we hear, anyway. I'm sure there are all types out there, from the gamers, to the nerdoids and dweebs, to the suburban soccer moms and dads.

Could you describe your "style," if you have one?

We will start. We are both professionals. We love nice clothes and food. We'd look very "normal" if you saw us on the street.

No offense is meant by this question. Sorry if any is taken.
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I don't think I've ever looked "normal" a day in my life. If you saw me walking down the street you'd notice me: I'm six feet tall, with long red hair (usually in a ponytail). I usually wear a thick leather (welding) jacket with marker on it, over a t-shirt (usually a black punk band shirt), with dark jeans and my work boots, or sandals, with a keffiyeh around my neck. I'm... difficult to miss.

I look slightly less barbaric in my work clothes: a tight button up with sleeves rolled up to my elbow. I just tend to look like a bouncer.

I wouldn't call myself "goth." I just think I look better in darker colors. I freely admit I have less than zero fashion sense. The world of fashion actively nauseates me. I tend to wear what I want where I want, and have very little interest in following arbitrary rules as to how I should look. Most of my clothing is purchased at Goodwill, so my style options are a bit limited.
 
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I am a suit-wearing professional who wears torn jeans and fashionable clothing away from the office. H is a SAHM, and my bookkeeper, so you can catch her in anything from jeans and high heels, to workout clothes, to a dress. K is in the medical profession, so you can see her in scrubs, or jeans and a t-shirt, unless we decide to dress up. Then she will put on a dress. But she's usually not the high-heels type.

We fit in our upper-middle class lifestyle very well. We are not weird to us, just different. I definitely don't think poly people look a certain way.

We have a few friends that know about our poly lifestyle, but to most we are all just good friends who spend a lot of time together. I find polyamorous folks to be well-read, open-minded people, who fit in most anywhere.
 
I think a lot of it is how you present yourself. On the internet there is a bit more anonymity, so you can get away with playing up parts of yourself that you don't as much in life.

On paper, we are probably so normal a family it's not even funny! I'm a stay-at-home mom. We have three kids. I've been married for 18 years as of next week. My husband been military and works for the government. We got married two years before we had children.

I only worked outside of the house where the kids could come with me, or as a vet tech while hubby was the stay-at-home parent. We have always been a nuclear family. We have no step-parents or half siblings. We are pretty boring, really.

Hubby is into computers. I write or do graphics. We play family games and watch family movies. We introduce our kids to classical literature as well as classic movies. They know who Ethel Merman and Fred Astaire are.

Now, beyond that, we have been to pagan camps where it was clothing optional. We've been to churches of just about every kind. We've gone to NA pow-wows and learned to make dream catchers and essential oils. We've camped in areas that are considered "queer community" and have always been around transsexuals, gays, lesbians, and role players of the geek and freak type. I've dyed my hair all colors of the rainbow. I've dressed goth to go to goth clubs. I have piercings and tattoos. My kids now have blue, purple and pink hair. We are interested in anime (not cartoons), baking, fashion design, theater, etc.

All of this is normal for us.
 
Moonlight has a prestigious position in city government. Fly is a high-level manager in an artisan bakery. I'm the director of a childcare center, and I also teach in the preschool. Other than the fact that Fly and I are true Seattlites and not particularly fashionable, we're sort of disappointingly normal. :rolleyes: I actually looked "edgier" when I was a virgin who had never heard of polyamory - eyebrow and tongue piercings, hair all colors of the rainbow, that sort of thing.

Fly and I often burst out into show tunes together, and Kiddo has been heard singing "Dancing Queen" in the shower. We've taken Kiddo to antiwar protests. We have solar panels on our roof and a half-built chicken coop in the back yard. Food politics are something we frequently discuss around the dinner table. We also travel a lot internationally and are conscientious about being world citizens, not just Americans. We're a little artsy, a little hippie-ish, a little bit out of the mainstream, but you wouldn't realize that until you got to know us.

Moonlight seems utterly conventional until you get her to talk about her hippie free-love past. :D
 
Business owner and professional, clean cut, gym-nut, beach-goer. You wouldn't think I'm anything out of the ordinary if you saw me on the street.
 
Vixtoria said:
I think a lot of it is how you present yourself. On the internet there is a bit more anonymity, so you can get away with playing up parts of yourself that you don't as much in life.
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Totes. One of the remarks I usually get when I meet people I've talked to online is "Wow, you are SO much less of an asshole in person!" :D
 
I don't know if anyone would call us "straight laced", lol. We're both still in our 20s though, so maybe it's expected for us to not "fit" a certain mold.
 
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