Beginnings

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highlivin229

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All my life, I have been highly sexual. I lost my virginity on my 13th birthday, and never looked back. In most all of my relationship, I have been the one to push the sexual and emotional envelope. My girlfriends understood that I needed release, often outside of our relationship, and they either accepted it, or else weren't my girlfriends for long.

For about fifteen years now, apart from regular girlfriends, I have been interested in cuckold-type relationships. I was the bull, and I got a lot of satisfaction in being with other men's wives/girlfriends. I was not interested in furtive relationships—the cucks knew about me and were submissive to me.

Often, our relationship would evolve to the point where I took the cucks sexually. I'm not interested in sex with men; I have many times had the opportunity, and it just doesn't turn me on. But I'm interested (and hugely turned on) by taking submissive men while their wives/gfs watched and encouraged the encounter. In fact, it was a need I had—as necessary as sex or breathing: I simply had to take the submissive mate of my lover and have him surrender to me completely. It's just the way I am.

But lately, this desire and need for cuckold-type relationships has been replaced—nay, eclipsed—by a much more powerful need.

About two years ago, I met a virgin girl of 21, and decided to start a family with her. Today, we are married, and have a one-year-old child. We are getting ready to conceive another child, which is exciting and fulfilling.

However, I recently began fantasizing about having more women with more of my children.

This isn't a sex thing. I have had FMF threesomes and FFFM foursomes in the past; I could have one now if I wanted. But I don't want that. Nor do I want a casual or temporary poly relationship.

What I want is to bring another woman fully into my household—a woman ripe for and willing to breed, preferably the same age or younger than my wife—and have several children with her, alongside my wife.

If that worked out, then in time I'd like to bring yet another woman into my household. I want these parallel relationships to be stable and long-term.

I dream of having (at least) four women, each with several of my children. Ideally, I would want to have all these children before I hit 60 (I am 46 now). I imagine—a bit obsessively—being surrounded by my children and women in ordinary situations: a weekend in the country, all of us going skiing, things like that. I don't want to have a giant bed with these four women, frolicking in constant sex. Actually, the idea of something like that is not appealing at all.

Rather, I want to have a big house full of children, their loving mothers looking after them, while I provide for and care for them all. I want to be a loving and strong father to this family, my women giving all of their attention (as my wife does to our child now) to raising beautiful, healthy, happy kids.

Finding another woman is not a problem. At this time, I'm seeing a girl who has openly said that she wants me to breed her. I'm just not sure if she's long-term material. The other woman in my rotation is new, so I don't yet know where she stands insofar as children, etc.

Financial pressures are, thankfully, not at issue either. My businesses and situation are stable enough and profitable enough that I could easily afford this household that I envision.

My problem is, I'm not sure how to make this happen with my wife. Instinctively, I sense that convincing my wife is the biggest hurdle to making this dream a reality. Because once my wife accepts my "second wife" (and the second accepts my current wife, obvs), bringing in the third and the fourth will be easy and smooth. Everyone will know what to expect, and everyone will understand their roles, and how we all belong together.

But transitioning my wife is the issue. Helping her understand my needs and desires, yet making it clear that her position with me is not threatened, and that I will love her as much as ever, if and when she accepts my other "wives".

My wife is sexually passive, and happy with our relationship. Recently, she has mentioned how she would be interested in watching me with another woman. She does not have same-sex interests, but she likes watching/experiencing me being dominant. (We enjoy light-to-medium S&M play.) She's simultaneously very jealous of and very turned on by ex-girlfriends of mine, or women who flirt with me. She suspects (but isn't sure) that I have other women in my rotation, which leads to occasional fights/bouts of jealousy/good make-up sex.

With previous girlfriends, I would have no trouble bringing another girl to our bed—whether my gf wanted the other woman there or not. If my gf freaked out or left me, I didn't care. After all, my girlfriends knew from the start that I was seeing other women. (I demanded—and still expect—that my women be exclusive to me. If they aren't, I leave them immediately. Maybe that's misogynistic or sexist or inequitable of me, but again, that's just the way that I am.)

But now, I'm a father. I am much more conservative about the care and maintenance of my relationship with my wife. I won't do anything that might put at risk my relationship with my child—i.e., I won't do anything that will send my wife out the door. Because if she walks, she's taking our child away from me—and that is unacceptable to me.

I believe that children need both a mother and a father to grow into healthy, happy adults. I want to give that to my child, as well as to my future children.

Hence why I am here. I want to articulate my thoughts and feelings, and write down what happens on this adventure. I'm also interested in what other people have to say.
 
Sounds like you have a sweet fantasy to explore. I hope your wife will be willing to try that with you.
 
Update

Update: We have confirmed that my wife is now definitely pregnant with our second child. We had been considering conceiving—guess we got lucky. If all goes well, the baby will be born in February/March.

Personal confession: I have a hard-on as I write, thinking of my woman pregnant with my child.

My desire for more children is unabated. My desire for several parallel breeding relationships is strong.

I have to make it clear, I do not want to have multiple parallel breeding relationships. I recognize that the problems it brings are enormous.

But the memory of my wife's big pregnant belly early last year is so soothing. And the thought of her fat belly in the next few months is exciting. The notion, the mental image of more women big with my children makes this desire almost overwhelming.

I do not want to hurt my wife. I do not want to antagonize her to the point that she leaves me.

I just need to breed many, many children, with many, many women, all in my household.

I must be insane, I know. I can't help it.
 
We're all a little insane though, aren't we? :)

As long as you can provide a loving and livable home for your children, carry on I say. :D
 
Update, January 2015

Updating my situation.

I've cut out my cuckold relationships. Just got bored with them, which is a huge surprise to me.

Since I was 16, when I had sex with a girl at a party while her bf listened, I have always had at least one cuckold couple in my rotation. I have a deep need to take another man's woman, always with his knowledge and acquiescence. This has many times led to me taking the cuck sexually, often while his wife/gf watched/encouraged. I don't think I'm gay or bi; the idea of sex with a man doesn't turn me on. But the idea of taking a man while his female partner watched/encouraged was a huge turn-on.

But after getting my wife pregnant, and becoming obsessed with the idea of having more women in my household to have children with, the idea of being with a cuckold couple leaves me indifferent. I don't even get mildly excited at the idea of taking another man's woman. For me, this has been huge, as being a bull to cuckold couples was previously a big centerpiece of my sexual needs.

Now, I only get excited at the thought of impregnating a willing female.

I have been going through girlfriends faster than I used to. My wife is now very aware that I am searching for a second wife, though we have not discussed it openly. She goes through periods of being upset to being accepting to being actively mentioning girls who might be my "type". I have been consistently supportive of her, and I think that has made her feel more confident that a second wife won't affect my relationship with her.

The kind of girl I am now attracted to has also changed markedly. I used to be interested in sophisticated, aggressive, been-around-the-block girls in their mid- to late-twenties. I liked them pretty and good dressers. But now, I'm much more interested in more passive, quieter, frankly dowdier girls in their very early twenties. I am also not so interested in their being drop-dead knockouts, or in their wearing the latest fashion, or being otherwise "cool"—I am more interested in their bodies, and if they are clearly healthy. I am turned off by girls who have clearly had multiple partners, whereas before I was indifferent.

I have gone through a LOT of women in the last six months; maybe four per month. The second I find a girl objectionable for whatever reason, I drop her. At this time, I am seeing three girls, two of whom I am already sleeping with. The third is a confirmed virgin who is deeply attracted to me. She's 22, about 5'9", very shy and awkward, devoutly religious (Christian), from a lower-class background, blonde, green-eyed (wears glasses), crooked teeth (too poor to have braces), clear skin, excellent health, parents still together, excellent with children, and wants many of her own. She is the one I see as having the most potential. We have kissed and cuddled a bit, but I haven't pressured her. I am waiting for her to come to me of her own free will. We'll see how that goes.
 
The problems with your fantasy of having many women "breed" for you is that women and children are not meant to be objects to satisfy your kinks.

Children are human beings who need nurturing in all levels - emotional, intellectual, physical, etc., and really, the ONLY reason a person should EVER want to conceive is in order to love and nurture that small human being without any self-serving motives, and to provide them with all the tools they need to be independent, resourceful, compassionate, empathetic caretakers of this planet. It is a huge responsibility to become a parent, and should never be taken lightly. How will you support your fantasy tribe? You are so focused on young women with healthy bodies - will you simply discard any children of yours who are born with defects? Furthermore, what you want has nothing to do with polyamory. You're talking about a fetish of yours that does nothing more than feed your ego and would put others (your "breeder" women and their children) at a severe disadvantage - your fantasies are not about developing and nurturing multiple loving relationships, which is what polyamory is.

Whether it is to be surrounded by adoring offspring so you can feel superior, or to have someone to carry on your surname, such shallow goals are dehumanizing and disrespectful of the children. To want to impregnate a bunch of woman so you can get off on the idea of spreading your DNA around is a sickness and denigrates the very honorable act of parenting itself. Your posts have chilled me to the bone.

I pity any children of yours, and the women you plan on using for your own self-serving purposes. I would call what you want to do as nothing less than abusive. You need to get yourself into therapy before you harm any more passive women who don't know any better.
 
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Reply to nycindie

First off, I'm not describing a fantasy—I'm describing my current goals. You may not like them—but that's your problem, not mine. Each person ought to be free to live out their lives as they see fit—or are you, ncyindie, going to dictate to people what is and is not the "correct" way to live?

Second, I don't take fatherhood lightly or casually—on the contrary, as I've said so explicitly. So for you to affirm that I am not giving my children my all in terms of emotional and financial support is just flat-out wrong.

Third, characterizing my goals as "abusive" is a way for you to legitimize your distaste for my goals. It's the same way that crazy right-wingers delegitimize, for instance, same-sex couples, or polyamorous households: They call such relationships "abusive" and "wrong" just because they happen to disagree with them.

In other words, they cloak their prejudices in the language of faux-concern—claiming they are only "protecting the innocent", and thus using their "concern" to mask their prejudice. Like you are doing.

Therefore, in the future, nycindie, I would appreciate you keeping your prejudices to yourself.

Thank you.
 
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You yourself said you are "insane" to want multiple women to be incubators to breed children for you. I agree and explained why. It is insane. You say you don't take fatherhood lightly, but everything you've written is all about you and your need to breed, not about actually being a good father. You're just turned on by pregnant bellies that result from your sperm. You objectify women and children as things that you obsess over, that should serve your goal, and exist only to give you a thrill. There is a difference between a fetish and a disorder or pathology, and I do hope you get some psychological help. I am truly concerned for any women who are foolish enough to let themselves become one of your baby-making machines.

Again, your goals have nothing to do with polyamory, and polyamory is the focus of this forum.
 
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It does sound like you're finding yourself attracted to women who might be easier to manipulate (half your age, dowdy, smaller social networks). What happens when they grow up?

I'm also not sure that finding wives 3 and 4 will be that easy. There are a lot of guys searching and searching for their unicorn/wife number 2. I can understand why you might focus on the young, less attractive type of women, but I'm not sure that will be enough.
 
highlivin229 said:
I just need to breed many, many children, with many, many women, all in my household.

I must be insane, I know. I can't help it.
Click to expand...

Yes. You must be.

highlivin229 said:
Now, I only get excited at the thought of impregnating a willing female.

I have been going through girlfriends faster than I used to.
Click to expand...

Those lucky girls to escape you and your "plan".

Seriously, fantasize about anything that you want, but now you are actively hunting for women who are easy to manipulate (young, MUCH younger than you, 'dowdy', passive, etc.) and hoping to impregnate them.

You want us to believe that it isn't just a pregnancy fetish? Tell us about how much fatherhood of your current child fulfils you. How much you want this new baby and why. How you can't wait to see them succeed in their lives. How you are going to support them so they can succeed.

While you are at it, how about you tell us how you think making this new 22yo virgin pregnant with your child will enhance HER life. What do you think she will gain from it, considering that it may cost her her family of origin given their devout Christian beliefs... or do you think they will happily accept her polyamorous relationship? How is raising your child/children in a polyamorus household going to fulfil HER?

Because right now, all I hear is a fetish.
 
I'm with everyone else. This sounds completely about you and your desires and has nothing to do with getting to know new people and finding out their own personal goals and working together for mutual benefit.
One child requires hours of time and input from two parents ideally and again ideally will have at least a couple of years of being small and special before siblings come along. A co parenting relationship takes hours every week to fulfil everyone's needs. I don't see how you can split yourself in this fantasy to fully meet the needs of anyone except yourself.

What if your "wives" fancied their own multiple "husbands" and to get pregnant with another while you supported them?

I'm really chilled by you seeking out young passive women too. I see no sign of you looking for equal partners.
 
nycindie said:
The problems with your fantasy of having many women "breed" for you is that women and children are not meant to be objects to satisfy your kinks.

Children are human beings who need nurturing in all levels - emotional, intellectual, physical, etc., and really, the ONLY reason a person should EVER want to conceive is in order to love and nurture that small human being without any self-serving motives, and to provide them with all the tools they need to be independent, resourceful, compassionate, empathetic caretakers of this planet. It is a huge responsibility to become a parent, and should never be taken lightly. How will you support your fantasy tribe? You are so focused on young women with healthy bodies - will you simply discard any children of yours who are born with defects? Furthermore, what you want has nothing to do with polyamory. You're talking about a fetish of yours that does nothing more than feed your ego and would put others (your "breeder" women and their children) at a severe disadvantage - your fantasies are not about developing and nurturing multiple loving relationships, which is what polyamory is.

Whether it is to be surrounded by adoring offspring so you can feel superior, or to have someone to carry on your surname, such shallow goals are dehumanizing and disrespectful of the children. To want to impregnate a bunch of woman so you can get off on the idea of spreading your DNA around is a sickness and denigrates the very honorable act of parenting itself. Your posts have chilled me to the bone.

I pity any children of yours, and the women you plan on using for your own self-serving purposes. I would call what you want to do as nothing less than abusive. You need to get yourself into therapy before you harm any more passive women who don't know any better.
Click to expand...

^ What she said. Good god.
 
Confused said:
What if your "wives" fancied their own multiple "husbands" and to get pregnant with another while you supported them?
Click to expand...

Won't happen to him because:

highlivin229 said:
(I demanded—and still expect—that my women be exclusive to me. If they aren't, I leave them immediately. Maybe that's misogynistic or sexist or inequitable of me, but again, that's just the way that I am.)
Click to expand...

:rolleyes:

Doesn't matter though, because according to his own words he's not really practising poly at all so I have no idea why he is even here subjecting this forum to this crap.

highlivin229 said:
She suspects (but isn't sure) that I have other women in my rotation, which leads to occasional fights/bouts of jealousy/good make-up sex.
Click to expand...

He's also not interesting in any opinion that doesn't support and celebrate his own personal world view, which makes him a liar after this statement:

highlivin229 said:
I'm also interested in what other people have to say.
Click to expand...

highlivin229, do yourself (and us) a favor and don't come back here. Send your wife around a bit though. Someone needs to let her know she doesn't need to put up with your crap, married or not, child/ren or not.
 
highlivin229 said:
I dream of having (at least) four women, each with several of my children. Ideally, I would want to have all these children before I hit 60 (I am 46 now). I imagine—a bit obsessively—being surrounded by my children and women in ordinary situations: a weekend in the country, all of us going skiing, things like that. I don't want to have a giant bed with these four women, frolicking in constant sex. Actually, the idea of something like that is not appealing at all.

Rather, I want to have a big house full of children, their loving mothers looking after them, while I provide for and care for them all. I want to be a loving and strong father to this family, my women giving all of their attention (as my wife does to our child now) to raising beautiful, healthy, happy kids.

Finding another woman is not a problem. At this time, I'm seeing a girl who has openly said that she wants me to breed her. I'm just not sure if she's long-term material. The other woman in my rotation is new, so I don't yet know where she stands insofar as children, etc.

Financial pressures are, thankfully, not at issue either. My businesses and situation are stable enough and profitable enough that I could easily afford this household that I envision.

My problem is, I'm not sure how to make this happen with my wife. Instinctively, I sense that convincing my wife is the biggest hurdle to making this dream a reality. Because once my wife accepts my "second wife" (and the second accepts my current wife, obvs), bringing in the third and the fourth will be easy and smooth. Everyone will know what to expect, and everyone will understand their roles, and how we all belong together.
Click to expand...

LOL, did you actually say, "She wants me to breed her?"

You're describing polygamy (without the benefit of religion or tradition to give some semblance of a foundation.) Anyone who has sat through even one episode of SisterWives knows that your fantasy household will be anything but "easy and smooth." Polygamy isn't polyamory and polyamory isn't "a giant bed with these four women, frolicking in constant sex." This sounds like an authority fetish gone off the rails.
 
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Rather than just piling on to the OP (who likely deserves it, but no point in repeating what's already been said), I would like to point out that a *lot* of people come here with unrealistic fantasies about how poly might work for them, struggling with how reality differs.

For example-- "We're looking for our unicorn to join our marriage. Why is this so hard?"

The truth is, we are all complicated creatures with complicated needs and wants, and we run into trouble when the relationship structures we hope for don't take that into account. This guy's ideal is sort of way out there, and really ignores this fact of human nature (and sets things up for epic disaster, when the girls he's "breeding" grow up and start to disagree with his edicts).

But a lot of us who are struggling with a relationship issue might benefit from taking a moment to ask-- am I working from a fantasy about how I think things *should* be? If I step back and consider how multi-dimensional and complicated this person is, do I get some insight that I just can't see when I'm wrapped up in my fantasies?

Maybe it's helpful, maybe not, but as long as we're dealing with an extreme, it might be helpful to think about this in more nuanced situations.

As for this guy, reality will find him one way or another. If he really has the capability of supporting a huge family single-handedly, then when he dumps a young mother for not conforming to his requirements, she shouldn't have trouble getting an order for child support. (Large paychecks become awfully small once multiple child support orders are in place.)
 
I think it's a little different from "oh we're a couple looking for a hot bi babe to complete us" he's looking at bringing multiple children into the world to satisfy his fetish. This goes beyond consenting adults
 
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