Frequently, I see bisexuality (predominantly in women) touted as the "reason" for being poly, opening a marriage, only "allowing" female partners in a relationship to sleep with women in a polyship, etc. This misunderstanding of what it means to be bi has been the cause for a lot of issues in my life, and I often feel that some of what I see here suffers from the same misunderstandings.
Why is this an issue I bring up? Because I see here, and have heard a lot in Real Life, that someone who is bisexual "needs" to be poly/have partners of both sexes to be happy, or they need to be poly because they were looking to "Be true" to their bisexuality. And, of course, it is a huge excuse given for unicorn hunting.
But, bisexuality doesn't have any of those things attached to it. It just means liking both men and women. That's it.
Being bi does not mean I need to be sleeping with people of both sexes (or even want to). It does not mean I need partners of both sexes in my life at the same time. It does not mean my deepest desire is to have two partners of opposite sexes, preferably as a whole big threesome unit. It does not mean that I am unfulfilled by my partner sexually unless I am also having sex with a partner of the opposite sex (this one usually comes from guys, who seem to assume I "need" to sleep with a woman in addition to them, in order to be fulfilled and happy).
You get the idea.
My interest in poly isn't linked to being bisexual. I'd be just as likely to have multiple exclusively female partners rather than multiple partners of both sexes. I've been in happily monogamous relationships with partners of both sexes. I think a functioning triad or quad would be awesome, but it's not something I search for, and it certainly wouldn't need to contain partners of different sexes. I have many bisexual friends who are strictly monogamous, some that are a asexual (which would, I suppose, make them biamorous rather than bisexual), some that are poly.
I guess the point is that bisexuals are bisexual, not inherently poly or in need of multiple partners, which is often what people seem to think. A bisexual person might be poly, just like a heterosexual person might be, but there's no actual or necessary connection between the two. I feel like separating the two could be really helpful in many cases, rather than treating bisexuality and polyamory as inextricably linked, as it often seems to be.
I don't think one needs an "excuse" to be poly, and I also think separating the two allows for more honest conversation about relationships, motives, jealousies, etc.
