Witchplease
New member
I'm a pansexual woman in my late 20's, very happily married to my spouse "Max". My friend "Dave" just broke off our poly relationship a few days ago and I'm heartbroken.
Dave and I started seeing each other about 6 months ago. We were platonic friends for a year before that, but neither of us knew the other was into ENM until we matched on a dating app. It started out fairly casual but over time we have developed some feelings for each other and recently defined our relationship as poly.
We had a threesome about a month ago with Dave’s wife, "Annie." Annie used to have a poly partner but they broke up a few months ago. I thought she was cute and thought that it would be a fun time. Dave told me that Annie would want to get to know me a bit before sex, so we all hung out platonically a few times, Max included. The day after the threesome, Annie texted me to see if I'd be interested in dating her one-on-one but after considering my needs and wants I politely declined.
Everything seemed copasetic (we even all hung out platonically with Max again and had a nice time) until Dave forgot to tell Annie I'd be over one day, and she came home to find us cuddling (fully clothed) on the couch. She was surprised and upset to find me there, and then even more upset when she found my sex toy on the nightstand (on top of a clean towel I had brought.) She left almost immediately. I apologized to Annie over text. I was angry at Dave for forgetting to tell her.
Dave and Annie made up. Dave and I made up and we affirmed our desire to keep seeing one another but decided to wait a few weeks until we resumed being intimate to give things time to cool off with Annie. A few days ago, we scheduled a date that would fall exactly one month after the whole debacle. (At my place, this time, as I had said I would only be comfortable with that for the time being.) The next day, Dave texted me to see if he could come over to talk.
Dave broke up with me, saying that he was having a difficult time dealing with Annie’s jealousy of our relationship. Apparently after the threesome she had developed jealousy not only that I was with him, but also because she wanted to be with me. When he told her he was going to see me again, she got very upset. She didn’t ask him not to see me anymore, but her unhappiness made him unhappy too and unenthusiastic about seeing me anymore. I asked him if it was what he really wanted. He said he didn’t think it was completely what he wanted but what was needed for his relationship with Annie. I told him I couldn’t believe how easy it was to throw everything we had away. He told me it wasn’t easy and started crying. We held each other and cried for a long time.
I am so so so sad. It doesn’t seem fair. I wish he had been able to work out the jealousy with Annie, or at least willing to try. I think I deserve better. But it all hurts so bad. Why does it have to be like this? Why couldn’t he care about me enough to want to hold onto me? Would things be different if Annie were in a poly relationship of her own again? When I put myself in Annie's shoes, I think can understand her pain and where she is coming from. But that doesn't make me any less upset. I wish we had never had that threesome.
Dave and I started seeing each other about 6 months ago. We were platonic friends for a year before that, but neither of us knew the other was into ENM until we matched on a dating app. It started out fairly casual but over time we have developed some feelings for each other and recently defined our relationship as poly.
We had a threesome about a month ago with Dave’s wife, "Annie." Annie used to have a poly partner but they broke up a few months ago. I thought she was cute and thought that it would be a fun time. Dave told me that Annie would want to get to know me a bit before sex, so we all hung out platonically a few times, Max included. The day after the threesome, Annie texted me to see if I'd be interested in dating her one-on-one but after considering my needs and wants I politely declined.
Everything seemed copasetic (we even all hung out platonically with Max again and had a nice time) until Dave forgot to tell Annie I'd be over one day, and she came home to find us cuddling (fully clothed) on the couch. She was surprised and upset to find me there, and then even more upset when she found my sex toy on the nightstand (on top of a clean towel I had brought.) She left almost immediately. I apologized to Annie over text. I was angry at Dave for forgetting to tell her.
Dave and Annie made up. Dave and I made up and we affirmed our desire to keep seeing one another but decided to wait a few weeks until we resumed being intimate to give things time to cool off with Annie. A few days ago, we scheduled a date that would fall exactly one month after the whole debacle. (At my place, this time, as I had said I would only be comfortable with that for the time being.) The next day, Dave texted me to see if he could come over to talk.
Dave broke up with me, saying that he was having a difficult time dealing with Annie’s jealousy of our relationship. Apparently after the threesome she had developed jealousy not only that I was with him, but also because she wanted to be with me. When he told her he was going to see me again, she got very upset. She didn’t ask him not to see me anymore, but her unhappiness made him unhappy too and unenthusiastic about seeing me anymore. I asked him if it was what he really wanted. He said he didn’t think it was completely what he wanted but what was needed for his relationship with Annie. I told him I couldn’t believe how easy it was to throw everything we had away. He told me it wasn’t easy and started crying. We held each other and cried for a long time.
I am so so so sad. It doesn’t seem fair. I wish he had been able to work out the jealousy with Annie, or at least willing to try. I think I deserve better. But it all hurts so bad. Why does it have to be like this? Why couldn’t he care about me enough to want to hold onto me? Would things be different if Annie were in a poly relationship of her own again? When I put myself in Annie's shoes, I think can understand her pain and where she is coming from. But that doesn't make me any less upset. I wish we had never had that threesome.
