Feedhercandy
New member
Hi everyone,
This has been a long-term, background question for me, especially intensifying as things have grown and deepened with my BF. BTW, my V is, currently, absolutely fabulous. My husband, daughter, boyfriend, closest friends and I spent Christmas Day and New Years together, and that was great.
About the coming out/disclosure side of things-- most of the people who really matter in my life know about our polyamory, and that has been really quite good, but some people on my side, and all the people on my BF's side don't know. This hasn't rally been much of a problem, except that my BF has become quite integrated into my life, and I am intensely integrated into his. He spends a lot of time with me and my daughter, and quite a bit of family time with us, as well. For some of my close married friends, one half of the couple knows about our reality, but the other half doesn't, so we end up being partially in the closet. Some of my more distant friends don't know, and I'm not quite sure how to manage telling them (and if I should). But not telling has consequences, especially with time.
On my BF's side, no one knows. They know I exist, and some have met me, but only as a GF who isn't married and (for some) doesn't have a kid. My BF is a very private person, so this isn't really outside his character, but it is outside of mine.
Am I worrying about stuff I shouldn't be? How do I include him in my life with people who don't know the details? Do I tell them? Act platonic around him and them? Or exclude him?
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
This has been a long-term, background question for me, especially intensifying as things have grown and deepened with my BF. BTW, my V is, currently, absolutely fabulous. My husband, daughter, boyfriend, closest friends and I spent Christmas Day and New Years together, and that was great.
About the coming out/disclosure side of things-- most of the people who really matter in my life know about our polyamory, and that has been really quite good, but some people on my side, and all the people on my BF's side don't know. This hasn't rally been much of a problem, except that my BF has become quite integrated into my life, and I am intensely integrated into his. He spends a lot of time with me and my daughter, and quite a bit of family time with us, as well. For some of my close married friends, one half of the couple knows about our reality, but the other half doesn't, so we end up being partially in the closet. Some of my more distant friends don't know, and I'm not quite sure how to manage telling them (and if I should). But not telling has consequences, especially with time.
On my BF's side, no one knows. They know I exist, and some have met me, but only as a GF who isn't married and (for some) doesn't have a kid. My BF is a very private person, so this isn't really outside his character, but it is outside of mine.
Am I worrying about stuff I shouldn't be? How do I include him in my life with people who don't know the details? Do I tell them? Act platonic around him and them? Or exclude him?
Any thoughts would be appreciated.
