Commitment ceremony

Agape

New member
Anyone have any good advice for a triad commitment ceremony. We have a baby already together so I'm ready to really do something special for my lady. Hubby and I have been legally married for 11 years on Saturday and lady has "joined" us just over 4 years ago. We really are already committed but I'd like to do a ceremony mainly for her. It doesnt have to be very big, I was even thinking about doing a nice las Vegas ceremony if we could find somewhere that would be willing to do one for us. We can easily fly just about anywhere in the US so any advice about where to go or what kinds of things you have done in your poly ceremonies would be appreciated. :D
 
I am sure many good ideas have already been suggested in other threads. If you do a search or click on the tags you added to this thread, you will find other discussions on this topic.

Thank you for the suggestion! I actually didn't find that much information that was helpful and was hoping for more by creating a new thread.
 
There are some good poly ceremonies on the Offbeat Bride website. Do a search there - the journals are helpful too. I got some great ideas when planning my own wedding to PunkRock.
 
Hi Agape,

You can definitely get someone to officiate your ceremony, perhaps a pagan officiant or something to that effect. But some food for thought, when my V handfasted (about seven years ago), we did it on our own. No officiant. Of course we also are in the closet, and in keeping with that our ceremony was very private. Just the three of us. Still, we dressed up and exchanged three rings.

We also composed our own vows, and spoke them in turns to each other. Since each person received the vows of two other people, the first person put the ring partway onto the recipient's finger, then the second person put the ring the rest of the way on. After the ceremony we shared some fancy wine, took pictures of each other, and ate out together at a fancy restaurant.

That may give you some ideas.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
We have not through with anything yet but I imagine a ceremony that is just like any wedding. I am not sure why it being poly should be any different. I am already married and so it would be about me marriying (probably not legally, but socially and what we could make happen through our wills) my boyfriend. I imagine it to be a fusion wedding since we come from different countries and wedding traditions, and that my husband could be the "best man". I would want guests and for it to be formal but have a loose style.

We are not open to our parents and that would be the biggest hurdle to jump through. We have talked over that I might eventually come out to my parents but that it will be hard for him to do the same with his or be out in his birth town, because of the culture (they are already sceptical because I am foreigner). So I am thinking perhaps our best option would be to have the wedding in his work town and focus on friends attending and perhaps some relatives from each side. It all goes into the same debate as openness generally. But I think of it like our wedding as a pair, even if my husband's presence obviously makes it a poly wedding.
 
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