unstablescorpion
New member
Hi, I am new to this forum. I am 27 years old. I have been in my first throuple for about a year now. Both my partners, Apple & Bee, and I are gay men. My partner Apple and I met in 2019 and we have been together since. A year ago we had a discussion about opening our relationship to a third, and then we met Bee. Fast forward to today-- we’ve all been living together for a year.
Now, my relationship with Bee has always been rockier than the one between Apple & Bee. We are in a good place now, but were not a year ago. I stopped talking to him for a while because I had trust issues.
And then as time went on, I actually fell in love with Bee. But I feel like now I’m heading into a whole different direction. I feel possessive, jealous, and insecure a lot of the time. I’ve been going to therapy to deal with my issues, but this is my first time being in a throuple and I had no idea I was gonna feel all these things.
My anxiety has always risen from the feeling that Bee loves Apple more than me, and is only with me because of Apple. And the reason why I think this is because Bee met Apple first, they had sexual intercourse before I did, and that Apple is way more attractive than I am (in my opinion). All this was planned, so it’s not like they cheated on me. But now I’m obsessed with if Bee actually loves me or not.
I have aired my feelings out to them, and to Bee personally, as well. He has always told me that he doesn’t love me any less than he does Apple, and that he wants to be with me, wants to have a future with me, etc.
But yet, I’m not convinced, mainly because when we are having sex, I feel like Apple & Bee are just more into each other. Every time they kiss, Bee has a full erection and gets pretty wet and stuff. I can tell that he’s turned on, which is fair enough.
But when Bee and I kiss, hug, or have sex, it always feels like he’s slow to get aroused, or hard. And then sometimes he has trouble keeping it up. He has told me many times that it has got nothing to do with how he feels about me. And the biggest problem for me is, I would’ve understood that if it were a monogamous relationship, but now I see the difference between how his body reacts towards Apple and me, and all I do is compare, and then I get so anxious and insecure. I start overthinking-- am I too ugly, too fat, too unattractive for him to get a hard on? And I start thinking that he loves Apple more than me because he gets more turned on.
I guess I just need some advice on how to deal and look at this situation. I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. And outside of sex, I think Bee and I are pretty close, nowadays. But it just bothers me. If I want to believe that he loves me and Apple equally, then shouldn’t his body react in that way?
Now, my relationship with Bee has always been rockier than the one between Apple & Bee. We are in a good place now, but were not a year ago. I stopped talking to him for a while because I had trust issues.
And then as time went on, I actually fell in love with Bee. But I feel like now I’m heading into a whole different direction. I feel possessive, jealous, and insecure a lot of the time. I’ve been going to therapy to deal with my issues, but this is my first time being in a throuple and I had no idea I was gonna feel all these things.
My anxiety has always risen from the feeling that Bee loves Apple more than me, and is only with me because of Apple. And the reason why I think this is because Bee met Apple first, they had sexual intercourse before I did, and that Apple is way more attractive than I am (in my opinion). All this was planned, so it’s not like they cheated on me. But now I’m obsessed with if Bee actually loves me or not.
I have aired my feelings out to them, and to Bee personally, as well. He has always told me that he doesn’t love me any less than he does Apple, and that he wants to be with me, wants to have a future with me, etc.
But yet, I’m not convinced, mainly because when we are having sex, I feel like Apple & Bee are just more into each other. Every time they kiss, Bee has a full erection and gets pretty wet and stuff. I can tell that he’s turned on, which is fair enough.
But when Bee and I kiss, hug, or have sex, it always feels like he’s slow to get aroused, or hard. And then sometimes he has trouble keeping it up. He has told me many times that it has got nothing to do with how he feels about me. And the biggest problem for me is, I would’ve understood that if it were a monogamous relationship, but now I see the difference between how his body reacts towards Apple and me, and all I do is compare, and then I get so anxious and insecure. I start overthinking-- am I too ugly, too fat, too unattractive for him to get a hard on? And I start thinking that he loves Apple more than me because he gets more turned on.
I guess I just need some advice on how to deal and look at this situation. I know that sex is not everything in a relationship. And outside of sex, I think Bee and I are pretty close, nowadays. But it just bothers me. If I want to believe that he loves me and Apple equally, then shouldn’t his body react in that way?
