Considering poly, but some hiccups

[GalaGirl]

I don’t think we thought about separate relationships.

You could think about it now.

I feel like he wants to have casual sex. I definitely already know the risk of it making or breaking our marriage. We talked about that, as well.

It's good that you talked about it. Who knows? Maybe you want casual sex.

We never discussed me having sex with anyone because I was lacking in it. He stated if I’m not having sex with him how could I with someone else.

Nobody is entitled to partnered sex. And what if, in your exploring, you get your groove back?

"Open to polyamory" means open on both sides. He can date other people. So can you. Both of you have the option. (As does whoever else either of you are dating.)

Then, if you exercise the option or not, it's because YOU choose to exercise it or not. It isn't because the option doesn't exist at all.

Besides, polyamory isn't just about sex. There's romance too. Some people are up for romantic/no sex relationships.

I will def bring this up. I have shared some articles that are on the website, so we are starting our research, for sure.

Good for you! What sorts of articles and resources is he sharing with you?

Galagirl

 

[Tinwen]

He stated if I’m not having sex with him, how could I with someone else?

This is both a misunderstanding of how attraction works and pure possesiveness.
I'm feeling sick to my stomach reading this, because I think this is gonna be tough on you as a couple, and on you as a person especially.

It's quite likely that you can have sex with someone else just fine, because it's new and exciting. Then, either you'll carry that lust back home with you (that's the better option!), or not, because you've got so much layered old trouble in your relationship that your sex drive is blocked with husband specifically. If you now find wanting someone else and not wanting your husband - he's not gonna take it well. He might not take it well even when you do desire him after meeting someone else - oftentimes pople feel offended, because it wasn't them sparking that fire, even if that's natural that sex drive seeks novelty.

Your husband's got a lot of work ahead of him if you start to assert yourself wanting your own adventures. Let's hope he's capable of it.