Couple in Spokane

T

TJSean

New member
Hi,

I'm the female in a male/female couple here in Spokane, Washington.

My BF and I have been living together for 4 years, plus a year of dating. We are pretty much simple folk. We enjoy home life the most. Although, he does like to go out more often than I do.

He currently is working for a cleaning company that contracts through one of the local colleges. I work for the company that owns the apartment building where we live.

We have great communication skills. We have a very open forum and there is nothing that we don't talk about. We've learned from previous relations that good communication is the key to a happy relationship.

Oddly both of our major relationships prior to us meeting lasted 7 years. My SO and I where never married but we had to wonderful daughters together. They are both grown now and out of the house with little ones of their own. He and his ex-wife never had children. We agreed that while we don't want to marry one another, we would love to have a commitment ceremony. I'm sure one day one of us will ask the other.

He is the jokester in the family, always trying to keep me laughing. He is college educated. He is currently working on the ending to his book he has been writing for about 6 years. He loves little arts and crafts projects.

I'm more of the electronics expert. I graduated from high school, had some college and began working to support my family. I've constantly continued to educate myself in fields I find interesting.

We both enjoy nights at home cuddling on the couch while watching a good movie. A night out for a good dinner and conversation is always great too.

We found each other late in life...well, later than we would like to have. He is originally from Tri-Cities, Washington. I moved to Spokane from Portland, Oregon. My home town where I spent most of my first 18 years was Wilmington, California. It's part of the greater Los Angeles area.

Hope this answers some of the questions anyone might have. Need more info? Write to me, I'll do the best I can to answer your questions.
 
Hi there,

Welcome to the forums. I'm relatively new myself but there's plenty of more senior members whom I've found to have years of personal experience, as well as years of experience in looking at other peoples' problems that they bring to the forum.

I saw your other post. Your other post made me feel that you're searching for a bisexual female to fall in love with both you and your husband. I could have interpreted you wrongly, with apologies. Just wanted to say that a search for such a person is actually really really common. :) There's a lot of good things that seem like it could happen if you managed to get into such a situation. And it does happen! But it's rare. Conventional wisdom from the more senior board members have said that most who enter into polyamory looking for this end up unhappy in the long run unfortunately. :( You've probably come across the term unicorn hunting, so I won't go on about it.

Nonetheless, good luck, and a warm welcome. And I hope you find the advice you're looking for on these forums.

-Shaya.
 
Greetings TJSean,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a really good relationship with each other. I take it you are new to the idea of poly? I hope you find whatever you're seeking, and that Polyamory.com can be of help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Experience

Well, he has never been in any other type of relationship besides monogamy. I was the unicorn in a relationship for 11 years before meeting my BF. Of course I never heard of the term unicorn until recently. Originally I fell in lust with her, and she took me home to meet her husband. We all hit it off and after about four months, we where living together.

The couple I was with where 20+ years older than I. They new after year 10 of being together that it was best for me to find someone closer to my own age. I still remain friends with them. My bond with him is still very strong, even now just as friends.

While we would love to find a unicorn, I do realize that no one is really out there promoting poly-anything. We are open to finding another couple that we have much in common with, and have similar goals in life.

Any help anyone has to helping us achieve additional happiness is very welcomed.

P.S. The whole reason we decided (my BF and I) to look for another person or couple is that we just went through the whole thing with a bad ending. A girl who moved in across the hall three years ago got pregnant, had a beautiful daughter, and the father and her broke up. My BF and I had talked when she moved in, and we both admitted to finding her very cute. After her breakup, we decided to befriend her and see where her head was. We found out she was into the whole idea of a poly relationship. However we couldn't get her to admit that she liked my BF, even though many people in the building could see it. After we confronted her she disconnected from us. She has been slowing talking to us again. We know she will only commit if the poly is V. I can't force her to have interest in me, she isn't bi in anyway. It may be selfish of me, but I really would like a woman in the relationship that I can be more than friends with. I don't really need sex, although it would be nice. I really just want that extra closeness beyond friendship, but not lovers and I'd be happy, but she sees even holding hands as "gay". She is a nice friend, but that's where it's staying. Am I a bad person for this?
 
Last edited:
Re:
"Am I a bad person for this?"
Click to expand...

Not necessarily, the heart wants what it wants. The only drawback here is that you are wanting something rather specific, which may make it harder to find, or it will take longer to find it. Then again, it's always possible to have some good luck, you never know how things will go.
 
The heart wants what it wants. What you want is clear. What the other girl wants is clear. What does your bf want though? Would he and other girl like to date even if that relationship would not involve you romantically? Would they want to try it even if you're uncomfortable with it?
 
Calle pipe

That is where I'm very fortunate with my BF. While I have given him my blessing to pursue her, he has insisted that if she doesn't want both of us, he doesn't want to waste time with her.

Like I've stated before, we talk freely, and hold nothing back between us. If he changes his mind, I'm okay with that. Our rules are simple. Don't come home with anything medicine can't cure, and come home.

I guess we are looking for something sorta specific. I wasn't looking for the couple I was with when I met them. Should we be more open to whatever comes along? is that what you're saying?
 
Honestly, you have to do what's in your heart. I don't mean you should do any different than that, I just wanted to point out that you may have to be patient if you want to be specific. Maybe if you get tired of waiting, you'll decide to be more open to whatever comes along, and that's okay too.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top