Coveny's introduction

Coveny

New member
So the how to write an intro post has some advice on how to make this post so I'll try to follow that.

What am I on this board for? I created a set of "rules" I'd like some feedback on so I looked around for Poly forums and found this one. Given my past experience with asking questions AND from some of the posts I've read I expect I'm going to not get feedback on the rules themselves but instead get lectured on how I shouldn't want to create them, but I'm still hopeful. :D

A bit about me... hmm lets start with broad strokes
Here are 14 positive descriptions of me
honest, loyal, honorable, analytical, autistic, intelligent, philosophical, confident, successful, problem solver, romantic, affectionate, loving, open

Here are 14 negative descriptions of me
Asshole, know it all, aggressive, loud, domineering, uncouth, social outcast, bad parent, introvert, opinionated, full of himself, doesn't respect boundaries, condescending, mean

I think most people chose to be who they are because of what they value. I value intelligence, problem-solving, and objectivity so that's where I reside. Where most people yearn to be unique I see it more as an anchor that makes deep connections and conversations impossible. (asking me about my ideas if you feel challenged) That said because I have a low EQ I'm rarely depressed, of course, I'm rarely happy either, I'm pretty stable emotionally. If you EVER want an honest opinion about anything just let me know. I'm almost always honest and almost always have an opinion about a topic.

A bit about my situation...
I guess I should do a backstory. I've considered myself poly since I got divorced from my first wife. I was seeing two women and it felt a lot better than marriage. However, I had a child from my first marriage and I wanted custody of her so I openly and honestly told my current wife of over 25 years that I didn't love her but I wanted to get married so I would have a better chance of getting custody. We had an open relationship where she saw others, and I saw others, and we saw a few together. We almost broke up early on when the NRE of her boyfriend made her want to leave me. (like 20 years ago) The housing bubble destroyed us in 2006, we had nothing but debt and no way to feed our family. My ex-wife sent my daughter to live with me but I didn't have enough money to file the paperwork for custody, and eventually, she took her away from me. This change my life in a BIG way. I felt like a failure as a father and husband and I decided to become finically free as it broke my illusion that I would ever get custody. I become single-minded about it and we effectively closed the relationship. I changed professions from the service industry (which I loathed) to the IT field. (which I love) We saved a ton of money, flipped houses, ended up living mortgage-free, and then rolled the money into real estate investments. My wife went into paralegal and I would repair while she took care of the paperwork and legal aspects. It was a great team, and it was REALLY nice to have a partner in life with the same goals. Not to get too deep into my wife's personal business in the last few years she's been in a lot of pain, and can't find relief. It's brought by the desire to see other people and last year I gave dating a whirl, wow did that turn out badly. She was poly but she was just using me as leverage to make one of the guys she was seeing jealous and when he said he wanted monogamy she dumped me like a rock. About two months later apparently he got super possessive (shocking right?) and suffocating so she dumped him and contacted me back with an apology about ghosting me. My wife said I should give her a second chance but that went badly as well. I left it alone for a while, but I still want the companionship of a woman near my age, and I didn't like all the recent drama. I have money now so I have started looking into escorts. However, I'd still prefer to do the poly thing after I retire in a few years so I've been thinking about the rules I'd like to have as the starting point of the discussion for this future mystery female and my wife. I came here expecting to be viewed as a unicorn hunter, and I'm fine with that so long as I can get the information I'm looking for. Hmm I made this section too big? Oh well just scan it if it's TLDR.

Invite people to contact me...
I think I did that already BUT I'd be interested in talking about philosophy, science, people/relationships/psychology, technology, games, TV shows, books, and stuff along those lines. I'm not interested in hearing about anti-vax, flat earthers, how great trump is, how bad guns are, pseudoscience, pseudo-intellectuals, or grammar nazis. (if you can't understand what I'm saying feel free to ask, but if telling me that I used "to" instead of "too" gets you off, just understand I'm not into that kink, sorry. :(

And it looks like I'm done now. See ya around. :)
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Greetings Coveny,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

I looked at your other thread, and responded there briefly. To summarize, poly has a very short list of rules for meeting the definition of poly, but within poly, there can be quite a few rules of best practices, and that's what I think you have.

I myself don't have a problem with anyone being a "unicorn hunter," as long as they treat "the unicorn" with respect. I hope you find what you're looking for.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
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