Curious from Canada's Capital

C

CuriousDreamer77

New member
Hey :)

Not sure where to start. I've always been curious and too often dreamed about the perfect situation for me. Aside from a few concerns, mostly from a parenting perspective, it always turns out (in my mind) as being a beautiful, monogamous, happy, loving, healthy and amazing FMF relationship.

Am I dreaming? This truly exists?

If so, I'd love to hear from those of you who are actually living - and succeeding - in this scenario. And how / where does one start towards achieving this beautiful dream?

Cheers,
CuriousDreamer
 
Welcome!

Welcome to the Forum!
Dreams are nice and all! Stop dreaming and focus on learning how to go about Relating Ethically... And everything will fall into place on its own....
It's a Journey either way.... Do take your time and read read read.... Ponder, meditate.... And try your hand

This place is a great resource if you know the way
 
CuriousDreamer77 said:
a beautiful, monogamous...and amazing FMF relationship.

Am I dreaming? This truly exists?
Click to expand...

Hi,

firstly, a warm welcome to the forums. You will find a treasure trove of stories of what others have gone through here and amazing words of encouragement when things go poorly.

There are 2 things you said that stood out to me. You talked of a monogamous FMF relationship. I presume you are referring to a V-shaped polyamory with the male in the center of the V and the females being monogamous. This is thought to be difficult to achieve.

Secondly, although healthy polyamory exists and many are happier with it, there are many who also regret it. The blogs section of the forum is full of active members, most of whom prefer polyamory over monogamy. On the other hand, here's someone who wished he'd been told how difficult being in a mono/poly relationship would be (one partner polyamorous, one partner monogamous).

Finally, I was personally curious as to how many couples who open their relationship to a third stay together, by which I mean all 3 stay together. Turns out, it's quite rare.

Best wishes,

Shaya
 
Greetings CuriousDreamer77,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Poly comes in many shapes and sizes, and there are people who are successful in each. Including FMF. I take it you are looking for a closed configuration, though I can't tell whether it's a V or a triad that you want. In any case, Polyamory.com is here to help. We'll try to answer your questions.

Have you tried OKCupid yet? That might be a starting point.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
I should clarify...

First thanks for the responses so far.

I should begin by clarifying that what I seek is a FMF triangle, not a V... essentially, three people very happy living together, in love and sexual with each other / altogether. And forgive me for the lack of proper nomenclature, but by monogamous I mean that it's a closed triangle.

Yes, of course, keep reading. However I will state that I see an over-use of the word Ethical so far... in my case particularly, just because I'm new and haven't yet adopted all of the protocols, nomenclature, etc... doesn't mean one can assume I don't have strong ethics.

Anyway, it's all text on a forum, which can too easily lead to misunderstandings... so I digress.

Appreciate more input, but more importantly, I'd like to meet people and begin my journey. I'm more of a shit or get off the pot kind of person. ;) Read and become informed? Yes please. Analysis paralysis? No thanks.

Cheers!
 
Oh yeah and...

...I'm happy being a dreamer, as it has led to many incredible accomplishments in my life!

So no, I won't stop dreaming, thank you. :)
 
Hi CuriousDreamer - Welcome to the Forum. I've been here several months now and found most folks to be friendly and helpful with lots of sound advice and solid info.

However I will state that I see an over-use of the word Ethical so far... in my case particularly, just because I'm new and haven't yet adopted all of the protocols, nomenclature, etc... doesn't mean one can assume I don't have
strong ethics.
Click to expand...

"Ethical" is an important word in polyamory that you will see a lot. So the fact that you have seen the word a lot does not mean that it is directed at you in a negative way.

In fact, polyamory is one form of the broader category of "ethical consensual non-monogamy". Poly folks generally take ethical considerations very seriously and you will see much discussion of poly ethics in this forum. Additionally, one of the most highly regarded books in the poly community is Veaux's "More Than Two", a 500 page volume on the ethics of polyamory (a somewhat ponderous read, but the discussions therein are invaluable in understanding the culture that surrounds polyamory). Hope this helps put some perspective on the emphasis on ethics.

As was noted before, the wish for a FMF V or Triad is often considered difficult to achieve. Additionally, it is such a common aspiration of those first entering polyamory that experienced polyamorists may even come across as being a bit dismissive of the idea.

Nevertheless - that is certainly not to say they do not exist - and that they are not possible. Best of luck on your poly journey! Al
 
Last edited:
CuriousDreamer77 said:
I should begin by clarifying that what I seek is a FMF triangle, not a V... essentially, three people very happy living together, in love and sexual with each other / altogether.

Cheers!
Click to expand...

Hey there,

If you want to search on the forums, what you're describing tends to be called a triad.
 
I have a question for you, Dreamer - are you currently partnered or are you single and hoping to stumble into this dream configuration? (Couldn't resist the description... ;-) )

Have you seen this? It's especially relevant if the answer to my last question is "partnered"... although I suppose if you aren't, you're actually looking for TWO unicorns which is even harder.

http://www.unicorns-r-us.com
 
lol... well, I suppose if I were to be hoping to 'stumble' upon it, then I wouldn't be here (and other places) doing all this reading and researching... but I can see just how much of a dream this can be, as you are correct - looks like I am searching for 2 unicorns!! ;) Especially as my standards for a partner are already quite high I suppose.

Silly question but... are there no bi-females out there in a relationship with each other looking for a man to complete the triad? Is it THAT uncommon?

From what I've been reading, it appears that many believe that one man cannot satisfy two women sexually... however, in my case, I can only state (as humbly as possible) that I could be the male version of a unicorn where this does not apply. I've never had a partner that can satisfy my high libido.

Although I'm not just looking for sex... I am a dreamer looking for the full package... sex is still high on the list and in all honesty, the prime reason why I feel I would be best suited in a FMF triad.
 
Re (from CuriousDreamer77):
"Silly question but ... are there no bi-females out there in a relationship with each other looking for a man to complete the triad? Is it *that* uncommon?"
Click to expand...

Don't know.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top