de-lurking, hi everyone

T

thirteenth

New member
I've been reading the forums for a couple of months now, especially Poly Relationships Corner, and I figure it's time to introduce myself.

I am a 40-something cis-female who is heterosexual and childfree. I recently got out of a very long-term, domestic relationship with a man who was never very loving towards me. Interestingly, he is the one who brought up the idea of polyamory to me, and I was willing to try it, but we wound up breaking up before either of us got involved with other partners.

Fast forward almost a year, and I have been dating a married poly man for a few months. It's going very well; I have never experienced such a loving connection with someone before. I do have a lot of relationship questions I want to ask here, but there are so many identifying details that are unique to the people involved (and crucial to the questions I want to ask) that I'm not sure I can do it with anonymity.

Regardless, I am happy to meet you all, and I will try to participate from now on.
 
Welcome

Welcome. So glad to see u here. This site and insite has been helpful for this newbie and I hope it is for you as well. Knowing and being around compassionate and loving polyfolk are the key!!. It's hard work don't get me wrong but love is always a work in progress. It pushess your inner buttons and makes you a more loving person in the end.

Welcome, peace.
 
Hello and welcome!

It is nice to get more people on board who have positive experiences about poly life :)

thirteenth said:
I do have a lot of relationship questions I want to ask here, but there are so many identifying details that are unique to the people involved (and crucial to the questions I want to ask) that I'm not sure I can do it with anonymity.
Click to expand...

I can relate to this problem - have been cautious about not to reveal too many identifying details in my posts. Probably some people who know me IRL might be able to identify me, but so far I am not aware of that happening. Are the identifying details really crucial to the questions? Could you not just slightly alter them or find some other examples that might do the trick?

Some ideas for more anonymity:
If you choose nicknames for people in your life, the most anonymous are actually just some random first names, like "Susan" or "Bob". If you use their real initials, that reveals information, as well as finding nicknames that describe them. Using nicknames is highly recommended, because it makes it easier to follow your posts.
The obvious one: do not reveal you location. People on Polyamory.com come from all over the globe, and thus you could be living just where ever.

Of course there is the option to write private messages to users whose posts appeal to you. Most people here are friendly and might be happy to offer their opinion privately, too.

Hope you enjoy your stay!
 
Greetings thirteenth,
Welcome to our forum.

Nadya gave some good suggestions on how to maintain a low profile. Sometimes you have to decide whether to take a calculated risk. Depends how serious the problem is, and how great your need for advice is.

I am glad you are in a better situation than you were a year ago. I hope Polyamory.com proves helpful for you.

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 
Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. I am thinking about how to talk about my situation and remain anonymous. Thank you for the advice.
 
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