does it have a name?


MOST (not quite all) of my exes have the ability to bring up those "MMMHHHHMMMMM" emotions as well and I definitely love them all.
I simply don't choose to allow "MMMMMHHHHHHHMMMM" to drive my decision making-with them or anyone new either!


I guess some people struggle with that, but for me it's a great memory-sometimes it's a great image for masturbation, but that doesn't make it a great life choice. You know?
LVFCS- I'm so sorry your heart is breaking :( How sad for you. I do hope that you are not being hard on yourself and are being good to yourself. I agree, time is a great healer. I hope too that something was learned from your experience.
Loss. There's a great poem* by Charles Bukowski in which he mourns a lost lover. Not all of it fits this situation, but to my mind some of it does:

is this how it works?
in this room
the hours of love
still make shadows.

when you left
you took almost
I kneel in the nights
before tigers
that will not let me be.

what you were
will not happen again.
the tigers have found me
and I do not care.

I think GS is right: sometime a dream is not possible to achieve. And although we have to let go some part of us will remember the dream, and sometimes we will feel it bitterly. Sometimes we will kneel in the night before those tigers of regret, those tigers of loss.

SC said that time heals all wounds, and there's truth to that. If something can't be, then moving on and looking for something that can be is a solution, isn't it? Take care, grieve as you must, and have hope for the future!


*The poem is "For Jane" and is online here.

Thank you all guys for your support.

Right now I feel all the effort was worth nothing. You see we were geographically apart, and we were working hard on changing that. All the endurance, love, compassion, all to try to make it happen and possible.. all we went trough.. was for nothing now.

Accepting that the dream is not possible is harder to grasp. I guess sometimes you just have to accept that no matter how hard you try some dreams can not happen.

If something can't be, then moving on and looking for something that can be is a solution, isn't it?
You're right EugenePoet, I need to move on looking for something that can be.

Today I came to the realization I was holding on to hope, hope that they would change their minds, hope that if we tried a little harder.. perhaps it could work again. So I asked about this, she said there was no possibility. And in their relationship she's the one who calls the shots.. I guess I was romancing the wrong partner! (being sardonic here).

In a way, I feel relieved, like I have let go of the last weight that was pulling me down from moving on. I can say I tried till the end, so now it's just moving forward toward something that can be.

Thank you guys, thank you all.
I'm sorry....

You could probably use a hug right about now sooooo


Hang in there.

Just Me,