Double dates swapping partners with mono friends

O

Orlandobif

Member
I have asked my wife for double dates before, her girlfriend me with my girlfriend or boyfriend. Rare but it happened. Then I thought I could ask a close monogamous friend for a double date with me bringing someone other than my wife. Have you done this? Mixing up the double dates with different partners other monogamous friends? Would this be hard for my friends?
 
I don't usually do double dates, but I do occasionally attend social events with different partners. The reactions can be entertaining, up to and including someone who distantly knew who I was but not well calling Artist by Knight's name. (For reference, while they are both tall men, Knight is a redhead with a goatee and Artist has dark curly hair, no POSSIBLE chance of mistaking them.)

I would definitely tell a mono friend first, though, just so they can get over whatever reaction they're gonna have without making the partner you bring uncomfortable.
 
People who I consider friends already know I am poly. I would just let them know who I was bringing when we made plans. I only had one friend who was a dick about it, which is one reason why he is no longer a friend.
 
My friends are all cool with either partner being included in activities. Or both. If they're not okay with my family, they're not friends.
 
My husband has two friend circles - the "me" friends and the "Stephanie" friends. But he will occasionally bring Steph to something with our couple friends, or me to something with their couple friends, and it's never been an issue. It helps that we have all met at big parties or work events at some point, so there's no element of surprise, here's my wife/girlfriend.

And if someone was upset by it, we probably wouldn't consider them a friend anymore.
 
Hi Orlandobif,

It sounds like you are wondering whether to do this double date with your monogamous friend, so, I think I would suggest giving your monogamous friend notice that you are thinking about showing up with an "other" partner, and, "Would that be alright." So you are getting the monogamous friend's consent, not that you have to, just that you want to keep the peace.

I could be totally wrong.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
I am confused by the phrase "swapping partners" in the subject line of your post. Are you talking about something like swinging, where "double date" means partner-swapping for sex?

The way you phrase it, "ask for a double date," sounds odd to me. It sounds like you don't just mean hanging out and socializing as two couples with your friends. If it's not swinging, what specifically is a "double date" as opposed to just going to an event with your partner and your friends?
 
MeeraReed said:
I am confused by the phrase "swapping partners" in the subject line of your post. Are you talking about something like swinging, where "double date" means partner-swapping for sex?
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Just a regular double date to the movies with monogamous friends who know and are ok with my lifestyle where I might bring my wife or my significant other with me.
 
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