Does anybody else have difficulty with double standards?
Being the way I am, I don't understand why I have trouble feeling comfortable/totally accepting if my significant others are the same way I am. I think I'm having hypothetical double standard issues. I'm trying to place myself in my significant other's reference frame to imagine how I would feel if our situations were reversed. I know they may see and feel things differently than I do. But if I were in their shoes, not their heads, I would feel uneasy, I think. I don't understand why.
I'm trying to put myself in that perspective, so when it happens, I'll be prepared and be able to rationalize things.
I'm evolving, but I need to be cognizant to walk upright so my knuckles don't drag on the ground. If I think about it and rationalize, primitive reactions can be held at bay.
I think it boils down to being perplexed as to understanding myself. How I can care for more than one, and have each one be so wonderfully meaningful, and not take anything away from the others, yet question that same concept with these people I care so much about?
Being comfortable and feeling fulfilled myself, and really care and be committed to those relationships. I feel these relationships complement each other and actually contribute to making their 'counterpart' relationships even stronger.
I feel cared for and wanted by each in their own way, and they don't take anything away from what the others offer, and I value each one.
I truly feel this, but I personally seem to be missing the part that can truly accept returning that logic, thus the double standard. It's not fair to the wonderful people in my life, and it really bothers me. I'm getting better, but any thoughts would be appreciated. I've talked about this before here, and through your help and Rubyslipper's and Snowbunting's patient love, I've come a long way, but does anyone else feel Like this?
Me (M)-- 51-yrs old, somewhat bisexual, incredibly fortunate to have wonderful people in my life:
Ruby Slippers (F)- my rock.
Snowbunting (F)- several years younger, but infinitely 'older' in wisdom and evolution, dear intimate close friend regardless of the miles between us.
T (M) and J (F)- married couple, playmates for 9 years, whom I see together, developing an (encouraged by T) independent relationship with J.
Baby (F)- bisexual, way younger, co-worker, angel/devil, full of life and a bit reckless, so very thoughtful and determinedly goal-oriented. Admittedly, there is some NRE going on, and I'm enjoying every second.
Being the way I am, I don't understand why I have trouble feeling comfortable/totally accepting if my significant others are the same way I am. I think I'm having hypothetical double standard issues. I'm trying to place myself in my significant other's reference frame to imagine how I would feel if our situations were reversed. I know they may see and feel things differently than I do. But if I were in their shoes, not their heads, I would feel uneasy, I think. I don't understand why.
I'm trying to put myself in that perspective, so when it happens, I'll be prepared and be able to rationalize things.
I'm evolving, but I need to be cognizant to walk upright so my knuckles don't drag on the ground. If I think about it and rationalize, primitive reactions can be held at bay.
I think it boils down to being perplexed as to understanding myself. How I can care for more than one, and have each one be so wonderfully meaningful, and not take anything away from the others, yet question that same concept with these people I care so much about?
Being comfortable and feeling fulfilled myself, and really care and be committed to those relationships. I feel these relationships complement each other and actually contribute to making their 'counterpart' relationships even stronger.
I feel cared for and wanted by each in their own way, and they don't take anything away from what the others offer, and I value each one.
I truly feel this, but I personally seem to be missing the part that can truly accept returning that logic, thus the double standard. It's not fair to the wonderful people in my life, and it really bothers me. I'm getting better, but any thoughts would be appreciated. I've talked about this before here, and through your help and Rubyslipper's and Snowbunting's patient love, I've come a long way, but does anyone else feel Like this?
Me (M)-- 51-yrs old, somewhat bisexual, incredibly fortunate to have wonderful people in my life:
Ruby Slippers (F)- my rock.
Snowbunting (F)- several years younger, but infinitely 'older' in wisdom and evolution, dear intimate close friend regardless of the miles between us.
T (M) and J (F)- married couple, playmates for 9 years, whom I see together, developing an (encouraged by T) independent relationship with J.
Baby (F)- bisexual, way younger, co-worker, angel/devil, full of life and a bit reckless, so very thoughtful and determinedly goal-oriented. Admittedly, there is some NRE going on, and I'm enjoying every second.