Realizing polyamorous relationships might be for me. Ever since I was a kid, I loved women from diverse backgrounds. As a teen, I secretly wanted to be with many women. I denied it because I thought monogamy was the only "honorable way" to have a relationship. When I'm chasing one woman, I get very anxious over losing her. When I'm with many women, I function better. Its easier for me to reject a woman when I have other women who like me.