MsEmotional
Member
So Whiskers and I only see each other about once every two weeks. Due to the holidays, it was over three weeks in-between our two most recent dates. Despite this slow down, we seem to be getting closer and when he suggested an lunch date for only 1.5 weeks after our previous one, I was excited.
Well, that date won't work out for logistical reasons, and our next evening date on the calendar isn't for over a month. So I went ahead and texted other dates for a possible get-together in the interim -- essentially to put us back on the "every-two-weeks" schedule, since our next date is still 4 weeks away. My suggestions didn't work for him and so I was stretching to find good times -- offering times that were less good for me, but that I could possibly make work if they worked on his end.
All of a sudden he said, "It's not that simple." And explained that he needs to not create tension in his childcare situation with his nesting partners -- their child is younger than mine are -- plus they have a baby on the way. "In a few years it won't be a big deal anymore once they are more self-sufficient. But right now it is harder and dates with you are not the only times I get out of the house."
I was super taken aback. I suppose he was just stressed by the fact that he had just asked his nesting partners about putting a date with me on the calendar (even though it is over a month away) and so he didn't want to ask them about another date in-between? But since we had been on an every two-to-three weeks date schedule, I was under the impression that that was an appropriate pace for him to maintain.
I apologized and said I hadn't meant to be pushy. He sent me some playful emojis. But fuck, I feel hurt.
Now I don't feel like I know what to do. Do I drop it entirely and just assume that we won't see each other for another month? Do I try to clarify whether he is saying that his nesting partners need to reduce the frequency of our contacts? I don't want to create tension with his nesting partners. I'm feeling extremely anxious that it appears that I have. And if I am not going to see him for another month, I'm afraid I am going to be carrying around this anxiety for all that time because I don't do well with having serious conversations via text/phone.
Well, that date won't work out for logistical reasons, and our next evening date on the calendar isn't for over a month. So I went ahead and texted other dates for a possible get-together in the interim -- essentially to put us back on the "every-two-weeks" schedule, since our next date is still 4 weeks away. My suggestions didn't work for him and so I was stretching to find good times -- offering times that were less good for me, but that I could possibly make work if they worked on his end.
All of a sudden he said, "It's not that simple." And explained that he needs to not create tension in his childcare situation with his nesting partners -- their child is younger than mine are -- plus they have a baby on the way. "In a few years it won't be a big deal anymore once they are more self-sufficient. But right now it is harder and dates with you are not the only times I get out of the house."
I was super taken aback. I suppose he was just stressed by the fact that he had just asked his nesting partners about putting a date with me on the calendar (even though it is over a month away) and so he didn't want to ask them about another date in-between? But since we had been on an every two-to-three weeks date schedule, I was under the impression that that was an appropriate pace for him to maintain.
I apologized and said I hadn't meant to be pushy. He sent me some playful emojis. But fuck, I feel hurt.
Now I don't feel like I know what to do. Do I drop it entirely and just assume that we won't see each other for another month? Do I try to clarify whether he is saying that his nesting partners need to reduce the frequency of our contacts? I don't want to create tension with his nesting partners. I'm feeling extremely anxious that it appears that I have. And if I am not going to see him for another month, I'm afraid I am going to be carrying around this anxiety for all that time because I don't do well with having serious conversations via text/phone.
