Feelings and trust

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Polycouple13

New member
A little over a year ago my wife entered into an enm/poly relationship with a really decent guy that I know and has always respected both her and I. The relationship is great and she admits openly that she loves both of us. They meet a few times a week usually for dinner and extra curricular activities. I wanted to write this as a guide for others who are worried about time and feelings management. It can totally be done and it’s totally ok for a spouse to love two people and in different ways. She loves certain things about the both of us equally and as long as the communication lines are open it really is a wonderful relationship prospect. Much love to you all and if there’s anyway I can help on your journey please let me know!
 
Hello Polycouple13,

Thank you for sharing your story. We get a lot of newcomers here who are struggling with their poly situation -- and we should, that's what we're here for, is to help. But it is a nice change of pace to hear someone relate their happiness in a successful poly situation. I don't doubt people will come to you for help, you're making a valuable contribution here. Again, thanks!

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
 
kdt26417 said:
Hello Polycouple13,

Thank you for sharing your story. We get a lot of newcomers here who are struggling with their poly situation -- and we should, that's what we're here for, is to help. But it is a nice change of pace to hear someone relate their happiness in a successful poly situation. I don't doubt people will come to you for help, you're making a valuable contribution here. Again, thanks!

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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Anytime! Anytime something goes against social norms it’s destined to be difficult and help is very important to having relationships flourish
 
hi, thank you for sharing! I haven't told my partner that I might be poly yet so people having positive experiences give me hope that it will turn out okay eventually.

Bee x
 
Polycouple13 said:
A little over a year ago my wife entered into an enm/poly relationship with a really decent guy that I know and has always respected both her and I. The relationship is great and she admits openly that she loves both of us. They meet a few times a week usually for dinner and extra curricular activities. I wanted to write this as a guide for others who are worried about time and feelings management. It can totally be done and it’s totally ok for a spouse to love two people and in different ways. She loves certain things about the both of us equally and as long as the communication lines are open it really is a wonderful relationship prospect. Much love to you all and if there’s anyway I can help on your journey please let me know!
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Hello there. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. When it comes to being poly, people are always afraid that we will not have time for our partners. And I always knew time can always be managed. And this is the first time someone actually said that time is never an issue. Thank you so much
 
andreealovescake said:
Hello there. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. When it comes to being poly, people are always afraid that we will not have time for our partners. And I always knew time can always be managed. And this is the first time someone actually said that time is never an issue. Thank you so much
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I would say relationship is: time, feelings, etc., is harder to manage and understand than the sexual portion of things.
 
Polycouple13 said:
What makes you think that you are, if I may ask?
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I don't want to bore you with the whole story because it's not really interesting. To keep things short, I did some self-reflection and realized that my whole life I had feelings for many people at the same time. I had always thought it was something I should fight against, so I bottled it up and buried it deep inside me. Recently, it just started to get back to surface.
 
bampirevat said:
I had always thought it was something I should fight against
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Yeah, that's normal. Both feeling them and trying to suppress them. We are humans with emotions. To say we can only feel emotions for one person is absurd. You can feel anger toward many just as you can feel love. Society says we should only love one person, which is just wrong. The deal with monogamy is you don't act on any feelings that may come up and do what you can do minimize them. But that alone doesn't make you poly. It makes you normal.

Being poly is less about feeling okay loving and having relationships with multiple people, and more about being comfortable watching your partners love and have relationships with multiple people.

If you are happy knowing your partner is shagging and loving others, then you might be happy being poly.
 
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