Finding a Unicorn: Grounds for a Threesome

kdt26417 said:
Can I ask, was it a former metamour who treated you badly, or the present one we're talking about (L?), or ...

If it was a former metamour, then, there may be some hope of warming up to this present metamour, eventually. But if this present metamour was the one who treated you badly, well, then, no wonder you're not feeling the love.
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Present metamour. She's nice to me in person, the few times we have met. But it doesn't match her actions and like i said, it's tough to get past what happened before we met.
 
So to your face she is nice ... but behind your back, not so nice.
 
kdt26417 said:
So to your face she is nice ... but behind your back, not so nice.
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Right. Even my partner has commented that she's done things that seemed to undermine our plans or completely disregard me. Even after meeting and having a nice time chatting.

She seemed kind to me. But there is a difference between "nice" and "kind." It's easy to be nice; it really is. Especially when it is in your best interest. But being kind, that's another thing. That takes empathy and compassion and a separation of oneself from one's desires and what's right. And to a degree, compromise. Something tells me this isn't what is actually happening.
 
Nice to your face, unkind behind your back: That's a tiger-size problem.

What will you do?
 
kdt26417 said:
Nice to your face, unkind behind your back: That's a tiger-size problem.

What will you do?
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I really don't know. Only a few instances have seemed suspicious since we met. If this was judged the way in which a trial is examined, it would be hard to corroborate. Right now I act in kindness and maintain the cordiality. My partner has shown good judgement regarding her actions and has called her out when it had happened. I think it is probably his duty to figure out at which point it is a serious hardship on our relationship. I think it's only a hardship on theirs, and that is unfortunate for her and not good for him. That's all in his court.
 
Do you have to interact with her a lot? Does she have a lot of pull over your relationship/s? If not, then you can probably ignore her for the most part.
 
kdt26417 said:
Do you have to interact with her a lot? Does she have a lot of pull over your relationship/s? If not, then you can probably ignore her for the most part.
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No, my beau has done a really good job of stamping that out. I will be ignoring her for the most part.
 
Sounds like a good plan. :)
 
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