First time jitters

S

SecondChancellor

New member
Hi everyone,

I've been reading for a few days now. I can't say much now (need to give kids dinner) but my wife has just gone for her first intimate encounter with an ex-boyfriend - I'm super nervous and I probably won't get much sleep tonight!
 
Hang in there, you're doing a great job being honest about your feelings and supportive. It's OK to feel whatever you need. Sit with the emotion try to keep busy and focus on what you get. My boyfriend appreciates the alone time or time with family one on one. :)
 
Thank you so much! It was a rough night (emotionally, the kids were actually amazing) and I'll have to see what happens when we meet back up today.
 
It went really well! My wife seems to have developed a better appreciation of our relationship and she's just all round happier. I'm so excited to be going on this journey with her.

I think I'm going to get more used to it as time goes on and as you said, learn to appreciate the alone time as I become more comfortable with what is going on.
 
Sounds like things are going pretty well so far. Glad to hear that!
 
Did things work out okay?
 
Sorry about the delay - we've been going pretty well. Things are starting to smooth out and become more routine now. Thanks for the support and this site - being able to read others peoples experiences makes it easier.
 
Ok being as how I'm just coming to terms with trying poly relationships with my fiancé I have to ask if she is the only one seeing others or do you see others as well? Also I'm nervous about the first time for us, nothing set up as of yet but I know I'm more picky I guess while he's more open with other women with the mind set of you never know what can happen or what it could lead to.
 
Hi Taboo4us,

I'm not currently seeing others, but I believe I could if I wanted to (if I had the ambition and patience). Was that your question?

When you say "the first time for us," do you mean a threesome? If so, I can appreciate your nervousness!

Regards,
Kevin T.
 
Well yes ideally he wants to find a woman to join in partnership with the both of us eventually cohabitation get and threesome included but we both realize that's not happening anytime soon. We have been to swinger parties and while I participated in some manner though not intercourse he found it to be too much pressure and we decided it wasn't for us however he still craves variety and wants someone for the both of us, not just for sex but to bound with and though he might obviously have more feelings for her then I, it's important us ladies be friends.

Now as far as seeing others is it typically both primary partners see others or one sided? I'm worried about feeling left out, I enjoy getting to know others and socializing and ideally want the connection with someone else too rather then sitting at home wondering...a lot of newbie questions and fears though we talk, talk and talk some more.


I guess to clarify threesome has been checked off our bucket list with another man though not a woman, he's biggest desire is to have a ltr with a woman for that reason among others
 
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It sounds like you guys are looking for an MFF triad. Or at least he wants that. I have to caution you that MFF triads are in high demand, and rather difficult to set up. It's easier if it starts as a V and maybe turns into a triad later on. But you can't force it.

The advice most people here will give you is to date separately, not as a couple. Then, maybe you'll pick up a new partner and maybe he'll pick up a new partner as well. But you can't plan these configurations ahead of time, you have to let the relationships develop naturally and take whatever shape they will.
 
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