inescarvalho
New member
Hello everyone,
I hope you're all doing well.
I'm here once more looking for advice. Bear and I have been in a relationship for over 3 years now. We're very passionate, loving and supportive of each other but we have a huge problem - we don't respect each other's space. We want to be together all the time and then our identities start to merge. We do our best but we somehow always end up doing this. My personal space is very important for me, and so it is for Bear.
We've been living together for 3 months now and we're going to do so at least until the end of august. It was always meant to be a temporary situation, even though we didn't plan for it to be as long in the beginning, we just had to adjust to circumstances that we cannot control. At this point we both feel like we don't have enough space for ourselves. A friend of ours is also moving in soon for financial reasons. It's a pleasure of course, I'm super happy to be able to help someone I love. But at the same time I'm scared. This is a super small apartment and Bear and I are already going a bit crazy. We've been fighting a lot. He's blaming me for feeling stuck and dependent. I feel the same way and I'm blaming myself.
In the meantime we're also doing our best with polyamory but it's not going very well. I'm hurt and he's tired. I've disappointed him a lot with my bad reactions. I say this and then I do that, he's confused and impatient. He feels like I'm preventing him from being free and he's afraid of me. I listened.
And then yesterday Meredith asked him to be her boyfriend. I feel so jealous. And mostly sad. Seeing our relationship fall apart while he starts a new one is very tough on me and it makes me very angry. He listened.
I've been realizing that I really want to focus on myself. I think this will solve a lot of these problems. But it's so hard to do so with all this going on, plus super stressful professional life. I'm trying my best everyday to really take care of myself and I'm having so much fun spending some alone time here and there. But it's very hard to create this opportunities nowadays. I need a bit more patience I guess.
Frustrated, exhausted and under a lot of pressure.
Thank you for listening,
inês
I hope you're all doing well.
I'm here once more looking for advice. Bear and I have been in a relationship for over 3 years now. We're very passionate, loving and supportive of each other but we have a huge problem - we don't respect each other's space. We want to be together all the time and then our identities start to merge. We do our best but we somehow always end up doing this. My personal space is very important for me, and so it is for Bear.
We've been living together for 3 months now and we're going to do so at least until the end of august. It was always meant to be a temporary situation, even though we didn't plan for it to be as long in the beginning, we just had to adjust to circumstances that we cannot control. At this point we both feel like we don't have enough space for ourselves. A friend of ours is also moving in soon for financial reasons. It's a pleasure of course, I'm super happy to be able to help someone I love. But at the same time I'm scared. This is a super small apartment and Bear and I are already going a bit crazy. We've been fighting a lot. He's blaming me for feeling stuck and dependent. I feel the same way and I'm blaming myself.
In the meantime we're also doing our best with polyamory but it's not going very well. I'm hurt and he's tired. I've disappointed him a lot with my bad reactions. I say this and then I do that, he's confused and impatient. He feels like I'm preventing him from being free and he's afraid of me. I listened.
And then yesterday Meredith asked him to be her boyfriend. I feel so jealous. And mostly sad. Seeing our relationship fall apart while he starts a new one is very tough on me and it makes me very angry. He listened.
I've been realizing that I really want to focus on myself. I think this will solve a lot of these problems. But it's so hard to do so with all this going on, plus super stressful professional life. I'm trying my best everyday to really take care of myself and I'm having so much fun spending some alone time here and there. But it's very hard to create this opportunities nowadays. I need a bit more patience I guess.
Frustrated, exhausted and under a lot of pressure.
Thank you for listening,
inês
