I can’t even begin to start on all the craziness here lately.
AntMan did not get on the bus. Instead, he said he wanted to go to rehab. I contacted someone in our city who I knew could help, and she got him a bed in a nearby facility (miraculously). He did not call or attempt to get set up. My daughter tried to get him a room for another night, but it turns out he did drugs and turned paranoid and tried to tear down the cameras in the hotel hallway, so they kicked him out.
This was all happening on Saturday. I was really busy at the Box. I was running a “Pack of Snacks” giveaway, where everyone would receive stuff like crackers, pop tarts, a bag of apples, baby carrots, pudding, granola bars, etc. It was a large amount of items designed to help parents with kids at home. In the middle of it, Cracker Barrel called me, and offered me 105 pounds of bacon, 60 dozen eggs, some yogurt, broccoli and 300 pounds of potatoes. DarkKnight drove over to pick them up.
Meanwhile, I am talking to the guy I matched with on OKCupid, the recent widower. He offered to come over and help with the chaos, kind of joking, kind of not. He lives like 2 hours away - actually a little more - so of course I said no. Also, hello - quarantine! Still, we both into each other and the conversation was helpful to me to get me centered and focused on what needed to happen. DarkKnight returned and we moved out 25 dozen eggs and 25 pounds of the bacon, and all of the yogurt, and 20 packs of snacks.
Then, we get a message that DarkKnight’s mom took a turn for the worst. We realized he needed to get up to York, Pennsylvania to the hospital there to see her as soon as possible. While he is rushing around to get ready to leave, AntMan showed up on my porch, drunk, crying and begging me to let him come back to his family. Some lady had found him on the side of the road, drove him to us and then told me that she had prayed to Jesus with him and saved his soul. Whatever. He’s screaming and yelling, calling my daughter a whore for cheating on him (she didn’t) and just crying.
We told him he had two choices - the cops, or getting in the car with DarkKnight and going to the bus station. We got him into the car and they left. The bus station ended up being closed, so they picked up his belongings from a place in the woods where he had stashed them, and they continued to York.
Back at home, we were trying to decide what to do. AntMan had lost his brand new phone, but the person who found it, called BugGirl, and got it returned to us. I talked to PunkRock about what was going on, and he was struggling - he was upset about not being able to help AntMan into recovery. He said he didn’t think AntMan was ready, and that we needed to get him away from BugGirl, or else her recovery was going to be in danger. BugGirl agreed with this.
Later that night, she came to me, upset. Apparently she read the messages on AntMan’s phone, and he had spent his entire check on drugs and throwing a party in the hotel room she rented for him. And he slept with a girl while there. She was absolutely done with him.
We talked a lot about BugGirl’s time last year with drugs and how she felt about everything. She said it was so very important that she not see AntMan again, and how we had to get him back to NY and out of her life. However, he was in York, and we were a state away with no car. So, he stayed in a hotel with DarkKnight in York that night.
DarkKnight wasn’t able to see his mom due to quarantine - she had coded twice and was in a ventilator and unconscious. The hospital was on lockdown, and they said he could talk to the palliative team the next day - her DNR was now in force and they were just getting her ready to pass comfortably.
So, the whole day I had been messaging with this guy - let’s call him MisterMoonbeam - and I decided to ask him if he was willing to go on a road trip and take AntMan home. He agreed readily, and we proceeded to make a plan with BugGirl. She called everyone in AntMan’s family, but no one would take him in. Still, she wanted him gone, so she promised to pay for a hotel in NY for AntMan, if we could just get him there. MisterMoonbeam drove over to our house that night, so we could just leave the house directly in the morning.
I was a little nervous, but not a lot. After we had matched on OKC, I discovered that we were in this poly Facebook group together, which had a discord server. I had read all of his old posts in both locations, and felt I had a pretty good idea of who he was, though there was obviously still a risk. He showed up looking like a normal guy, acting like a normal guy, and BugGirl and I both gave him a hug for coming to our rescue. He and I shared the bed in DarkKnight’s room that night, and he was a total gentleman - we shared some cuddles, but stayed up talking until 5 am the next morning. We figured we could head out around noon. We finally fell asleep, and I felt really good about him.
DarkKnight’s mom died at 7:30 am on Sunday. Bleary eyed and completely out of sorts, I sent messages and phone calls out to everyone I could think of that needed to know, and then MisterMoonbeam and I drove to York. AntMan got into the vehicle, while I went to see DarkKnight. He was teary, but holding up okay under the circumstances. He had been able to see his mom’s body, and had an appointment set up later to talk to the funeral home. After I was gone, he’d be talking to his sisters to get a schedule of events planned and figure more stuff out. He met MisterMoonbeam and was appreciative of his support.
The ride to NY was uneventful. AntMan was silent almost the entire trip. We tried not to stop, but did hit the bathroom twice. I was very, very aware that we were breaking quarantine across states, and I was terrified of possibly spreading or catching Corona on the journey. We kept to ourselves and tried to just GO.
I had a lot of interesting conversation with MisterMoonbeam. I didn’t feel any NRE or squee or anything. I was stressed out and anxious about the trip, and AntMan, and about my husband back at home. I was focused on keeping my daughter safe by getting this guy out of her life - and mine.
We arrived and got a room at an EconoLodge for AntMan, and I gave him some money for food. He was quiet, and dejected, but he took his stuff and left. I wanted to cry, but we were in an EconoLodge parking lot. I was still really stressed when we pulled out to leave - I had to sign papers saying I was responsible for any damages, and that made me nervous, given that AntMan had tried to break video cameras just the day before. MisterMoonbeam suggested we drive south a bit to put some space between things, and we stopped for the night in Bath. We paid $80 for the highest end room in the joint, which included a jacuzzi in the room. (We didn’t use it though.)
At that point we were running on two hours of sleep, and I was ready to drop. I laid down and was dozing while we waited for dinner to be delivered in, and then we talked some more as we ate. It was around 6 pm.
We both got into our pajamas, and then got out of them and had some really good sex. (He had recent tests, with no new partners as of January.) All I can say is I fucking needed what MisterMoonbeam was giving out. We were very compatible. Afterward, I fell right to sleep.
And woke up at 10:30 pm, from an alert from DarkKnight, who was concerned that I hadn’t talked to him for a while. I gave him a call and explained that I had fallen asleep. We talked a bit, and then after we hung up, MisterMoonbeam and I talked until like 1 am. Then, we fell asleep again, waking up around 10 am this morning.
We got food to go, and each left the housekeeper $20 a piece as a tip.
When I got home, DarkKnight was gone, and I had to wait for him to get back to let me in the house. I said goodbye to MisterMoonbeam, and he started his 2+ hour journey home.
I’m in pajamas now, snuggling DarkKnight on the couch, waiting for subs to be delivered for dinner. I am completely and thoroughly exhausted. I have more to write about my emotions and thoughts surrounding MisterMoonbeam, but I will do that in another post later. The funeral is Friday, but because of gathering restrictions, only 10 people are allowed to attend the short graveside service, and I am not included in that 10. I am actually relieved. The only reason I would go would be to support DarkKnight, but no spouses or grandkids can attend. There just aren’t enough spots. DarkKnight is already over the drama - he told me he never wants to speak to any of this family, ever again.