Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

I think you're all three lucky to have each other. You'll get through this. Just think every little thing through as carefully as possible. (It's a shame that you have to be the reasonable ones since DarkKnight's family won't be reasonable. We can only hope they'll start to come to their senses.)
 
Where we are at now!

DarkKnight's Family: Well, DarkKnight got a touch of a fever and we ended up un-inviting everyone over on Christmas Eve. He's been ill and out of sorts most of this week now. Poor guy. His younger sister had RSVP'd nope and his older sister had been a maybe, so he didn't feel too terrible telling everyone not to bother. He did not receive any feedback regarding the link he shared with them. I'm looking at schedules this weekend and I will extend an invitation to both siblings to come over for a dinner and board game evening sometime in January.

My family: I talked to my sister and my mom on Christmas morning. My sister asked - didn't I find it really weird that PunkRock bought DarkKnight a present? "That's just strange." Um, no. They live together and have a friendly respect for each other. It would be weird if they didn't buy each other something, I think! For the record, PunkRock bought a Tardis winter hat for DarkKnight, and DarkKnight bought PunkRock some DVD Ghost in the Shell set. Nothing extravagant or weird. When I called my mom, she was delighted to tell me that my sister had called the gift giving between my guys weird. Whatever. I hate that they gossip and think I want to hear about it. My mom again articulated that she thinks my commitment ceremony is a waste of time and money, and that I should instead use it to take a trip somewhere. "It isn't legal anyway, so there's no point." She's missing the point, but I am done explaining because she doesn't want an explanation.

PunkRock's family: PunkRock and I spent Christmas afternoon at his dad's house, with his stepmom and two aunts with their extended families. After dinner, PunkRock announced that we were eloping, and gave all the details. His stepmom was at first excited, but then started asking - but why a commitment ceremony? What's a hand fasting? Why don't you do a legal wedding? Shit. PunkRock's dad did NOT tell her that I am married and that I'm poly. That meant that NO ONE in the house knows this, except for PunkRock's dad. You can imagine how uncomfortable this made me feel. PunkRock did a great job of explaining what we were planning, and just said that we had decided this since we didn't want to do the legal. One of the uncle's said it was "pretend." I shut that down with a "No, this is very much a real thing for us." One of PunkRock's aunts is a feminist, and she was very supportive. She asked if we would be exchanging rings in addition to the hand fasting (yes) and about the location, etc.

PunkRock and I discussed the situation in the way home and I am very uncomfortable with the idea of only his dad knowing the structure of our relationship. I respect his dad's right not to not share details with his wife though, if he believes she will never accept it. I just don't see how we can socialize much as a family - they won't be coming over for dinner, BBQs, etc. PunkRock says now that we've announced this, it may resolve itself. We will see, I guess. I just see a shit-ton of drama lurking there and though it isn't causing me stress now, it has the potential to give me all sorts of anxiety.

Planning: I paid the $400 deposit on the cottage property. So we have an official wedding and honeymoon location now! I am scheduling a date in January with friends to make my wedding jewelry - bracelets, mostly - with beads and abalone shell. I will be buying the rings this coming month, building my bouquet and getting together the accessories we want for the location. We've picked the ceremony for the officiant - we just have to forward the questionnaire and paperwork back.
 
Second entry today - Christmas!

We had, I think, the best Christmas of my life this year. No joke.

Christmas Eve was very low key and traditional for us. Both PunkRock and my son had to work until the afternoon, and DarkKnight was sick, so the morning was pretty much full of me cleaning. Then, we prepared the dinner, which for us is always crudités and finger foods. This year we had a shrimp ring, a bread bowl, Brie with a balsamic cherry topping and crackers, pulled pork with cole slaw, lil smokies in a grape jelly/chili sauce glaze, a veggie tray, baklava, pumpkin roll. Yum! We just graze all evening.

We started dinner at 3:30, and then began a game of Arkham Horror, which turned out to be crazy difficult. The gameplay was much quicker, but the dark forces were aligned against us and there were so many upsets and difficulties within the storyline!

At 8 pm we took a break to open one present each - our new pajamas!

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I have a FABULOUS photo of my guys and my son holding my daughter horizontally in front of them, but I can't get it to load. Bah!

Every Christmas Eve we light wishing candles and then let them burn down, so we did that. Then, we returned to Arkham Horror and that finally ended around 11 pm. We won. :) Cleanup took about an hour - my son cleared the table, I loaded the dishwasher and hand washed the larger platters and bowls, while my daughter swept and swiffered. DarkKnight, I sent him to bed because he looked terrible. PunkRock brought down and arranged all the presents while the cleaning was going on.

I think PunkRock and I went to sleep around 1 am.

At 6, we were awoken by Gus being a jerkface. He actually farted into the heat register. Sigh. I woke up DarkKnight and PunkRock, and then we prepared hot chocolate, tea, blueberry scones and two types of quiche for breakfast. My kids opened their stockings, and then we swapped presents. It was an incredibly awesome morning.

I got ALL the board games!

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My daughter got me the only expansion set I still needed for Cards Against Humanity, Forbidden Island was from my son, PunkRock got me King of New York and DarkKnight bought me Ticket to Ride. DarkKnight also surprised me with the Hyperbole and a Half book, and PunkRock had me shrieking when I opened up a Jayne hat. (From Firefly, for all you non-nerds.) he also bought me a couple of beautiful bracelets.

The best part of Christmas though, was trading thank you and kisses back and forth. My guys were so happy, which made me happy.

Oh, and we totally tricked the shit out of my youngest daughter! It was great. She has had a cell phone with a cracked screen for months, and we've been telling her that we couldn't afford to upgrade her to a smartphone since the summer. Turns out she was 100% convinced of the fact and didn't expect anything. The look on her face when she opened the iPhone we gave her - I will never forget. Just complete and total surprise and excitement!

After all the presents, I got dressed and then PunkRock and I spent the afternoon with his family, as I talked about in my previous entry.

Seriously though, this holiday was wonderful. I am really exhausted now, but this weekend is going to be chock full of scheduling and taking down everything Christmas in preparation for my daughter's New Year's Eve party next week. We have 32 kids scheduled to attend so far this year so we have some planning to knock out, that's for sure!
 
You guys are looking great together as always. Glad your holiday was good in spite of the clueless extended families.
 
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Hope this works this time. Here are two of my kiddos, being horribly scarred by our polyfamily on Christmas Eve.

I ordered PunkRock's wedding ring today. It was dirt cheap but really beautiful. Since I am making all my jewelry (read lots and lots of bracelets) in January, I figured I should have the main piece so I can match the sheen on the abalone shell. It's tungsten carbide, just like DarkKnight's ring, but the inlay is unique to PunkRock. He picked it out himself, after spending a lot of time looking at different options online. Have I mentioned how involved and interested he is with all the planning?

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My youngest daughter may be traveling to Nepal in the Fall! I am so excited for her. I have a long-time internet friend who lives there as a director of an orphanage, and my daughter would travel to go stay and help with the younger kids. There is a substantial cost involved, but since my friend is in a high position, she is looking into how much of a discount she can swing. The plane fare is around a grand one-way, and right now we are unsure if she'd need an escort since she is only 17. But wow! This could potentially change the entire course of her life.

All 3 of us are supportive of this opportunity, and I think all 3 of us wish we could go too. :)
 
A wonderful opportunity. I hope you can swing it for her.
 
I think we will be able to swing it. :) We haven't heard back about the discount yet but with her life insurance policy already being cashed in for college, we could redirect some of those funds toward the passport, VISA and airfare costs. The program fee for one month is $900 and I think she would be able to get donations from family members and hold fundraisers to make that amount happen, no problem. And if the discount goes through, then she could stay longer. If we have to pay to escort her though - that would mean we'd have to purchase 2 round trip tickets for DarkKnight, and THAT would blow. It could be close to $3000 extra. I hope that isn't the case. I did look into it some more briefly, and I think it will depend on the airline.

I may call a travel agent tomorrow if I find the time. My daughter actually already has a doctor appointment scheduled tomorrow, so I am going to take in the immunization list and see about how long that process will take. There are some weird ones that they recommend!

I am really squee about her going. It's pretty amazing. She's been reading travel websites and asking me questions all day.
 
Exciting stuff. I'm sure she would build many fond memories while she was away.
 
Tomorrow is the one year mark of when I first remember meeting PunkRockAwesomesauce. I know because I wrote about it in my happiness journal, and here on my blog. I just wrote my one sentence tonight in my happiness journal and flipped to tomorrow to see that "Cute guy in a suit was noticing me. I noticed him back." Heh I totally did!

He friended me on Facebook that night and then we talked for an entire month on Messenger before he asked me out. He was unsure about dating me, since he was monogamous. He had dated a poly girl in college, and when he couldn't stand her being with her hometown boyfriend every weekend, he pressed her to make a decision, and she chose the other guy. However, that's when he was dating and looking for that mono ideal of a single soulmate. When we met, he said he didn't know what he wanted. Giving it some thought, he felt he would be willing to talk about a relationship, at least. After our first date though - he was done talking abstractly and wanted to make it work for real.

Squee! Now we are getting married in less than 5 months! I feel so strongly that we come from the same star.

We had a date night tonight and decided to go play trivia as a two-pack. We didn't win, but we had fun. At one point the host played the Bel Biv DeVoe song "Poison"and we were both laughing and talking about how they rolled up one pant leg back then. Apparently that style didn't hit it off in his Boys' Latin school! Lol Anyway, he started swaying back and forth and singing along. Later when we got home, I was at the top of the stairs and he was at the bottom, and he started dancing and getting goofy. It made me fall in love all over again.

Over the holidays here I have really felt like he is showing more and more of his soft side. Lately he has been vocally and visually more in showing his love for me. Not that he didn't before, but it's just to another level now. He makes me feel so happy!

DarkKnight is still ill but is steadily improving. We shared sex tonight and he's snoring beside me at the moment. He has a half day of work tomorrow so we are going to go see the new Hobbit movie in the afternoon. I've already seen it with PunkRock, but I don't mind seeing it again with my sweetie. I think this has been an unexpected hazard of poly - sometimes I have to duplicate dates or experiences because they both like very similar things. Thankfully it doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen often enough for me to feel torn sometimes, having to choose which guy to see something with first, or else maybe I will skip doing or seeing something completely, so no one feels left out. Or, I just suck it up and go twice. Thankfully, I liked this movie and won't mind seeing it again!
 
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Happy anniversary ... and glad to hear DarkKnight is on the mend.
 
That feeling when you know you need to clean, but you just don't want to do it? Yeah...
 
Ironically your post inspire me to get up and clean (and prep for tomorrow's turkey dinner)!
 
I think we have 30 kids scheduled to be here for my daughter's party this year. To be honest, I am burning out a bit on hosting. This may be the last year we do it - she will be almost 18 at next year's shindig, if we hold it. I love it because the younger kids are so excited and happy to be at a real party. :)

My tree is still up so that is today's priority. Lol Only 1/3 of the decorations are still on it because I became bored with taking it down a few days ago. The rest of my house looks ok, but I do need to get ice and purchase a few more must-haves for tomorrow morning's breakfast. Whipped cream and OJ. I have to have my daughter wash all the champagne glasses for the cider toast at midnight, and my bedding will need washed. Bathrooms. Ugh. I might go back to sleep here in a short bit!

Last night I was out with PunkRock and finally found 2-liters of diet coke on sale for 99 cents. I was starting to get worried. I buy one per child so they can do diet coke & mentos cannons at midnight, and every little price increase hits hard. $30 is just about as much as I wanted to spend!

I loved watching the Hobbit again with DarkKnight yesterday. He is just so freaking sweet to me when we are together! Course, so can say that about both my guys. As many emotional ups and downs I've had this year and drama in my life, not much of it has come from my loves - I actively feel the care they have for me every day. I am so very lucky!

Update on the Nepal trip - I talked to the doctor on Monday about immunizations and they advised me to call a travel clinic. I did that and unfortunately none of the shots are covered by insurance. Ouch. There's a long list of vaccinations suggested for my daughter, but my friend in Nepal is saying that she won't need malaria or Japanese Enchephalitis, as those are in the southern part of the country and not in Kathmandu. They cost $128 each, so I hope she is correct. I have to check and see if the entry paperwork requires them, or if they are just a suggestion. My daughter will get the Hepatitis A shot (2 shots actually) at $200, but she is already inoculated against Hep B. She also needs Yellow fever ($160) and Typhoid ($70). I will go back to my regular doctor to procure a tuberculosis test - we've done those before and that one should be covered by insurance. Anyway the initial visit to the clinic will cost $150 on top of the shots. The only good news is that I can at least offset them against our flexible spending account.

I set a date with my friend to make wedding jewelry with me on January 17. I'm excited about that.
 
New Year's Eve was great but I am glad it is over for another year. :) So much work before and after! The house is back to normal and now life moves along. After all the kiddos were gone yesterday morning, I fell into bed and passed out for the rest of the day. PunkRock held me until I fell asleep, then noticed I had neglected my cell phone, so he went downstairs to grab my charger and plug it in before he left for the day. (He went to an all-day Bolt action tank battle with like 8 guys from the game store.) DarkKnight came and snuggled me while I slept, but before that he cleaned both the kitchen and the living room, so when I awoke I wouldn't have to clean the entire house.

Yeah, right from the get-go, I'm being spoiled! I had ass-tastic butt sex last night too. It had been awhile, but PunkRock was all for it. :)

Today I ran errands and they all took much longer than anticipated, which left me feeling aggravated. Plus now it seems like I am short on funds - or I will be at the beginning of the week - so I am not so happy about that. Ugh. I hate being broke, that's for sure. I am trying to stay positive though. This year is really going to be wonderful, I think!

Here's a pic of my guys on New Year's Eve. One of the kids brought a couple of pineapples, and the majority of people at the party posed with them in the photo booth. Why, I have no idea!

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PunkRock got a job offer yesterday where he would be making significantly more than he is now. It would be full time, with benefits and a company car. He'd have "manager" in his title. He is going to decline it. Sigh. I know he is pretty bummed to do so, but it's 2 hours away. He would have to be at work every morning no later than 6 am. So he'd be looking at waking up every morning no later than 3. And coming home in the evenings, there would be no set quitting time, and he'd be in the insanity that is the DC commute at night.

What's crazy is that this is someone he used to work with years ago and the offer came completely unsolicited. It's a bummer to say no, that's for sure. But, well, the negatives are really not workable.
 
Yeah, it's a private construction company, and he'd be managing the warehouse and the logistics of setting up all the supplies and people for each job every morning. Then, throughout the day, making sure that anything extra is expedited to the sites as soon as possible. He could easily do this, but he could never be late, because that would throw off everyone else's work for the day. And with this long of a commute, in traffic heading toward DC - it just isn't feasible. He'd have to get up so very early to make sure he was on time, and then with the uncertainty of how long the day's work would go, he could be getting home in the evening just in time for bed. Not something I would like, that's for sure!

We had a lunch date today and talked about it some more. He is definitely declining it.

PunkRock shared with me today that he had cigarettes on New Year's, when he was with his friends. He bought some nicotine gum because now he's got crazy cravings again. You think? God I fucking hate tobacco. He was like 3 months clean, now he's back to trying to wean himself off again. I can't stand it and it's a relationship killer for me. He knows this and I know he's working hard at it, but it makes me nuts. Obviously I am not breaking up with him but it sucks so bad.

I have the song "Everything is Awesome" stuck in my head today. Yeah, I'm going to do some paperwork. This evening DarkKnight and I are having dinner at his mom's house. I can't say I am super excited about it, after all of the terrible things she called me and said before Christmas. We'll see how it goes, I suppose.
 
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