Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love
- Thread starter Bluebird
- Start date
IndieSolo
Active member
Oy. Your father had been sick for a long time, yet she never really prepared herself for what she would do, did she? Are there any other relatives she can move in with, siblings or cousins of hers? Low-income housing options? Senior/Assisted Living apartments? Church-run facilities?
I am very glad you and your daughter made it out of your van alive, Bluebird.
I am very glad you and your daughter made it out of your van alive, Bluebird.
Last edited:
Bluebird
Well-known member
She lives in a rent-adjusted senior living community right now. For anyone else, it would be a great place. They have meals together, clubs, events. There's a library and common spaces for sitting and chatting. The local bus picks up and drops off at the door, and they have planned group excursions.
I may have done a disservice describing my mom as introverted. She checks her mailbox at 4 am to avoid running into anyone. She schedules her trips to the laundry facility on site to a time she guesses will be the least busy, and her trips to dump out her garbage are strategically planned.
Sigh. Right now she is saying she doesn't want to move here, which is good. But I m not at all confident it will work out another way.
I may have done a disservice describing my mom as introverted. She checks her mailbox at 4 am to avoid running into anyone. She schedules her trips to the laundry facility on site to a time she guesses will be the least busy, and her trips to dump out her garbage are strategically planned.
Sigh. Right now she is saying she doesn't want to move here, which is good. But I m not at all confident it will work out another way.
IndieSolo
Active member
Oh, does she have agoraphobia? My mother did. Her world had become very small. Maybe your mother will be okay by herself. At least for a while. She is upset and in crisis mode. It is a shock when a spouse dies and you realize you are alone (even though there are others around).
My ex-MIL became a shadow of her formerly strong and feisty self when her husband died - they had been together since she was 14, and they were coming up on their 60-year anniversary when he passed away. She really did not know what to do with herself, she was so used to their routines and his company. Fortunately, she lives in a community where everyone looks out for each other and, even though she was too embarrassed to ask for help, she has lots of friends there.
Maybe your mother will just have to break out of her shell, turn to the services she has available, and face her circumstances. Even if she is agoraphobic, she can make little changes. It doesn't sound like she is in any danger, but is mostly feeling sorry for herself and afraid of what might happen next. Maybe you can talk to the people who run the facility and have them check on her periodically without being too obvious. It just doesn't sound like living with you would be all that great for any of you.
My ex-MIL became a shadow of her formerly strong and feisty self when her husband died - they had been together since she was 14, and they were coming up on their 60-year anniversary when he passed away. She really did not know what to do with herself, she was so used to their routines and his company. Fortunately, she lives in a community where everyone looks out for each other and, even though she was too embarrassed to ask for help, she has lots of friends there.
Maybe your mother will just have to break out of her shell, turn to the services she has available, and face her circumstances. Even if she is agoraphobic, she can make little changes. It doesn't sound like she is in any danger, but is mostly feeling sorry for herself and afraid of what might happen next. Maybe you can talk to the people who run the facility and have them check on her periodically without being too obvious. It just doesn't sound like living with you would be all that great for any of you.
Last edited:
I would certainly let her continue to live where she lives as long as possible. It's odd that she does things like checking her mailbox at 4:00 a.m., but as far as I can tell it doesn't actually harm anyone including herself if that's what she wants to do. The only bad thing would be if her domicile started looking like a Hoarders episode, so you could visit her from time to time and make sure everything seems to be in order.
Does she have interests and hobbies? Things she could pursue without exposing herself to a lot of other people? If she does get lonesome, there are plenty of people around that she can socialize with. If she doesn't get lonesome, well that's not necessarily a problem either. It's just an unusual personality trait that she has, and for her maybe it's good to have the freedom to hole up most of the time. Books, handicrafts, TV and whatnot can give her ways to pass the time.
Does she have interests and hobbies? Things she could pursue without exposing herself to a lot of other people? If she does get lonesome, there are plenty of people around that she can socialize with. If she doesn't get lonesome, well that's not necessarily a problem either. It's just an unusual personality trait that she has, and for her maybe it's good to have the freedom to hole up most of the time. Books, handicrafts, TV and whatnot can give her ways to pass the time.
Bluebird
Well-known member
The only hobby she has is crossword puzzles, which my dad always printed out for her. I would strongly describe her as agoraphobic and people phobic. I am not worried about her becoming a hoarder, but she has been having trouble making sure things stay clean. Her eyesight is not as good, and my sister and I washed a ton of "clean" dishes that were anything but decent.
We are going to invite her along to our Great Wolf Vacation this year, mid March. I am not sure if she will come but it would be good for her, I think.
We are going to invite her along to our Great Wolf Vacation this year, mid March. I am not sure if she will come but it would be good for her, I think.
Bluebird
Well-known member
I guess I should update how my time with TriviaCutie went, and the following aftermath of it.
I pretty much came home on Friday, picked up the rental car, showered and left to go on the date. He picked me up and we drove to a local gourmet pizza place and chatted over food and drinks for several hours. It went well. We then went back to my house and chatted on the couch for several hours. It went well. We said goodbye at 1 am. I texted him the next morning, but I haven't heard back.
So, what gives? I do believe he would have made a move on me, but was intimidated that there were two dudes upstairs that would have come down if I had cried foul. That's pretty scary, I think, if you are not used to poly. He did brush my arm, hug the back of the sofa, etc but made no overt moves. I did tell him I wanted to make out before he left, and he was all over that, and he was a good kisser.
But, talking about poly, I think he is interested but unsure. He is very definitely bisexual and his phone was dinging most of the night and it looked like it was dudes looking for hookups. Which is fine, but it cemented the idea in my mind that he's very much in the screw around and not be serious phase of dating at the moment. I think he would have hooked up with me had I made it available. However, I'm not really just looking for a hookup, so he'd have to put in a little bit of effort. Not sure if he wants to make that effort, which is fine.
I am a little miffed that he hasn't at least texted me that he's not interested. The message I sent him said that I really couldn't read if he were unsure about me or unsure about poly, but that I was up for another date later, if he was. But, radio silence. He knows we'll see each other in trivia situations, so it's mystifying he wouldn't at least say, thanks but no thanks so he wouldn't have to be all weird and avoiding me. Course, he could be thinking it over. PunkRock took a month. Course, he communicated that to me, you know?
Anyway, following the date, I shut off my OKC account again. I have too much going on to concentrate on that right now - it's a giant time suck. I hope to meet someone in person at some point.
Honestly, I am not hurt if it's me he really didn't like. I didn't feel fireworks, but he did seem really cool and I would totally be down with hanging out and playing board games with him, because we have a lot in common. I would use a second date to see if I could kindle any fireworks. I had been feeling some serious excitement about going out with him, but during the date it was just all cool, no NRE. Course, I had just had an awful, stressful day and that could have helped shut those feelings off.
So anyway, unless he texts me, I guess we are done and I will try to smooth over any weirdness when I see him in person by telling him directly I would have appreciated a reply, but no harm done. If he does text me, I would go on a second date - maybe to an arcade or something active and fun.
Meanwhile, I am putting him and all other guys to the back of my mind because I am completely overwhelmed with everything else going on in my life.
I am so very happy I have DarkKnight and PunkRock - they are keeping me together, that's for sure! DarkKnight's mom had no issues during her surgery and she is being released to some inpatient physical therapy, I think? Later on this week. So DarkKnight is able to come with me tomorrow, back to NY.
I pretty much came home on Friday, picked up the rental car, showered and left to go on the date. He picked me up and we drove to a local gourmet pizza place and chatted over food and drinks for several hours. It went well. We then went back to my house and chatted on the couch for several hours. It went well. We said goodbye at 1 am. I texted him the next morning, but I haven't heard back.
So, what gives? I do believe he would have made a move on me, but was intimidated that there were two dudes upstairs that would have come down if I had cried foul. That's pretty scary, I think, if you are not used to poly. He did brush my arm, hug the back of the sofa, etc but made no overt moves. I did tell him I wanted to make out before he left, and he was all over that, and he was a good kisser.
But, talking about poly, I think he is interested but unsure. He is very definitely bisexual and his phone was dinging most of the night and it looked like it was dudes looking for hookups. Which is fine, but it cemented the idea in my mind that he's very much in the screw around and not be serious phase of dating at the moment. I think he would have hooked up with me had I made it available. However, I'm not really just looking for a hookup, so he'd have to put in a little bit of effort. Not sure if he wants to make that effort, which is fine.
I am a little miffed that he hasn't at least texted me that he's not interested. The message I sent him said that I really couldn't read if he were unsure about me or unsure about poly, but that I was up for another date later, if he was. But, radio silence. He knows we'll see each other in trivia situations, so it's mystifying he wouldn't at least say, thanks but no thanks so he wouldn't have to be all weird and avoiding me. Course, he could be thinking it over. PunkRock took a month. Course, he communicated that to me, you know?
Anyway, following the date, I shut off my OKC account again. I have too much going on to concentrate on that right now - it's a giant time suck. I hope to meet someone in person at some point.
Honestly, I am not hurt if it's me he really didn't like. I didn't feel fireworks, but he did seem really cool and I would totally be down with hanging out and playing board games with him, because we have a lot in common. I would use a second date to see if I could kindle any fireworks. I had been feeling some serious excitement about going out with him, but during the date it was just all cool, no NRE. Course, I had just had an awful, stressful day and that could have helped shut those feelings off.
So anyway, unless he texts me, I guess we are done and I will try to smooth over any weirdness when I see him in person by telling him directly I would have appreciated a reply, but no harm done. If he does text me, I would go on a second date - maybe to an arcade or something active and fun.
Meanwhile, I am putting him and all other guys to the back of my mind because I am completely overwhelmed with everything else going on in my life.
I am so very happy I have DarkKnight and PunkRock - they are keeping me together, that's for sure! DarkKnight's mom had no issues during her surgery and she is being released to some inpatient physical therapy, I think? Later on this week. So DarkKnight is able to come with me tomorrow, back to NY.
I see your point about your mom. I don't suppose she could hire a housekeeper? Her kids could pitch in on the cost if necessary? Could she learn how to play "Words with Friends?" Those are just some real quick ideas that spring to my mind, but I can't think of anything better right now.
Perhaps it's just as well if the TriviaCutie thing sort of fizzles, you have a heavy load of work and worries ahead of you.
Glad to hear DarkKnight's mom's doing better.
Perhaps it's just as well if the TriviaCutie thing sort of fizzles, you have a heavy load of work and worries ahead of you.
Glad to hear DarkKnight's mom's doing better.
A2Poly
New member
I completely understand that emotion.
Bluebird
Well-known member
Th bad thing about poly is when I am missing BOTH my guys. I got to see DarkKnight for a half hour at dinner but that was it today. I will have a few hours with him tomorrow night though - my brother is going to come stay with my mom in the evening so we can have some together time. PunkRock leaves Maryland at 3 pm tomorrow so I will hopefully be able to hug him around 10 pm. He has to drop my son off at my daughter's first, before heading over to my mom's, where I will be staying. It's so hard to be away from them both.
Still, at least I have my sweeties to miss. They both have been sending me happy messages throughout the day, both naughty and nice! PunkRock was sending me photos of different outfits he was considering for the memorial dinner, and after a couple of silly poses he sent me a dick pic. I almost dropped my phone. He is such a jokester sometimes!
Oh! Tomorrow night will be the first time my mom meets PunkRock. I am not really stressing it, to be honest. He may end up sleeping on the couch instead of joining DarkKnight in the hotel, depending on how tired he is. I hope he stays here because I miss him so.
My mom and I had a very stressful last couple of days. It turns out she will probably not be getting any social security checks until June at the earliest. So that is zero cash coming in. She has nothing else, nada. My dad was receiving disability, not retirement, so she has to apply for everything from scratch. She's only 63, so I am very unsure if she can even get his full retirement benefit yet. We have no idea how it works. If anyone has that knowledge - please share! She herself has barely ever worked and just barely meets the minimum to receive retirement for herself, but she can apply at least. Anyone know the amounts? She is also 63.
So anyway, broke until June. I took her to social services after dealing with social security and they are setting her up with cash assistance. We did the application this morning and the screening. Tomorrow morning we have to go to an orientation and we snagged an interview spot. Normally they only give interviews to the first 3 people signed up in line, the rest have to come back another day and try for another spot then. The screener took pity on my mom and got a supervisor to ok an interview, but we will probably be waiting for 2-3 hours to be seen, we were warned. I am glad because even after you are approved for assistance, they hold the cash for 45 days.
The bureaucracy is nonsense. They will only give her $390 a month, but since she lives in subsidized housing, it should be enough to keep her from being homeless, at least. Still, it was all very overwhelming for my mom and she really doesn't want to be on that sort of assistance. She is getting food stamps already though, and we got the amount reduced since my dad is no longer in the household. $194 in food stamps a month for her.
I have no idea how people live on these numbers. I am awfully grateful there are options though. My sister flipped out and said it better work out because she isn't paying anything. My brother was trying to get my mom to use my dad's credit cards to pay bills. Yeah, a felony isn't really a good idea right now. Besides, I called and got them all canceled already, though I still have to fax out two copies of the death certificates tomorrow.
My sister and I put together a big photo board for my dad's memorial and I made a memory box and framed a large picture of him to put on a table. My ex husband isn't coming to the dinner and that upset me a little bit. My dad loved him and my mom loves him more than me, I've said on occasion, still. You'd think at least he'd come to support our children. My friend that lives in LA is actually coming - I think I mentioned that our dads were neighbors in ICU last month, but his dad passed then. He hasn't gone back to California yet, and he has been great this week - coming over to talk to my mom, inviting me out places, talking to me on the phone. Also anothe guy friend that I've known since high school - he knew my dad too. I am glad that they are coming.
We decided to go with a breakfast buffet for the dinner, as my dad always made eggs and such for dinner. If you were unhappy, he'd make you an omelet.
I got to see DarkKnight for a half hour at dinner but that was it today. I will have a few hours with him tomorrow night though - my brother is going to come stay with my mom in the evening so we can have some together time. PunkRock leaves Maryland at 3 pm tomorrow so I will hopefully be able to hug him around 10 pm. He has to drop my son off at my daughter's first, before heading over to my mom's, where I will be staying. It's so hard to be away from them both. Still, at least I have my sweeties to miss. They both have been sending me happy messages throughout the day, both naughty and nice! PunkRock was sending me photos of different outfits he was considering for the memorial dinner, and after a couple of silly poses he sent me a dick pic. I almost dropped my phone. He is such a jokester sometimes!
Oh! Tomorrow night will be the first time my mom meets PunkRock. I am not really stressing it, to be honest. He may end up sleeping on the couch instead of joining DarkKnight in the hotel, depending on how tired he is. I hope he stays here because I miss him so.
My mom and I had a very stressful last couple of days. It turns out she will probably not be getting any social security checks until June at the earliest. So that is zero cash coming in. She has nothing else, nada. My dad was receiving disability, not retirement, so she has to apply for everything from scratch. She's only 63, so I am very unsure if she can even get his full retirement benefit yet. We have no idea how it works. If anyone has that knowledge - please share! She herself has barely ever worked and just barely meets the minimum to receive retirement for herself, but she can apply at least. Anyone know the amounts? She is also 63.
So anyway, broke until June. I took her to social services after dealing with social security and they are setting her up with cash assistance. We did the application this morning and the screening. Tomorrow morning we have to go to an orientation and we snagged an interview spot. Normally they only give interviews to the first 3 people signed up in line, the rest have to come back another day and try for another spot then. The screener took pity on my mom and got a supervisor to ok an interview, but we will probably be waiting for 2-3 hours to be seen, we were warned. I am glad because even after you are approved for assistance, they hold the cash for 45 days.
The bureaucracy is nonsense. They will only give her $390 a month, but since she lives in subsidized housing, it should be enough to keep her from being homeless, at least. Still, it was all very overwhelming for my mom and she really doesn't want to be on that sort of assistance. She is getting food stamps already though, and we got the amount reduced since my dad is no longer in the household. $194 in food stamps a month for her.
I have no idea how people live on these numbers. I am awfully grateful there are options though. My sister flipped out and said it better work out because she isn't paying anything. My brother was trying to get my mom to use my dad's credit cards to pay bills. Yeah, a felony isn't really a good idea right now. Besides, I called and got them all canceled already, though I still have to fax out two copies of the death certificates tomorrow.
My sister and I put together a big photo board for my dad's memorial and I made a memory box and framed a large picture of him to put on a table. My ex husband isn't coming to the dinner and that upset me a little bit. My dad loved him and my mom loves him more than me, I've said on occasion, still. You'd think at least he'd come to support our children. My friend that lives in LA is actually coming - I think I mentioned that our dads were neighbors in ICU last month, but his dad passed then. He hasn't gone back to California yet, and he has been great this week - coming over to talk to my mom, inviting me out places, talking to me on the phone. Also anothe guy friend that I've known since high school - he knew my dad too. I am glad that they are coming.
We decided to go with a breakfast buffet for the dinner, as my dad always made eggs and such for dinner. If you were unhappy, he'd make you an omelet.
SNeacail
New member
The surviving spouse is eligible for 100% of their spouse's benefits (assuming the deceased spouse's benefits are more) at their full retirement age. She can claim SS as early as age 62, but full retirement age is considered 67, so anything claimed prior to 67 is reduced based on some complicated formula. It's normal to take 3-4 months before benefits begin. Those that are previously widowed or divorced can pick and choose, to some extent, who's benefits they claim.
You may want to contact a local senior center and see if they know people that can help you navigate some of the "senior" specific stuff in that area.
Bluebird
Well-known member
Thanks for the info - it really helps just to have the basics.
I am back in Maryland now. Today, I have been given the day off. I feel like I need a week but this is what I can give myself without messing with our schedule, so this is what I am taking. I had great sexy times with PunkRock this morning, though neither of us got off. It was like a promise, and I can't wait to see him when he gets home from work! He brought me a big thick slice of triple chocolate cake and a glass of milk to the bedroom before he left, for me to eat for breakfast. DarkKnight had been gently chiding me to get back on my diet now that I am back home, but PunkRock apparently didn't care.
That said, DarkKnight just came to visit me upstairs (he has a break from work every day at 9 am) and he gave me kisses and pets and says that he will be bringing me Alekos for lunch. Alekos is a Greek drive-thru restaurant nearby that makes the best subs. So apparently he too wants me to just sleep and concentrate on resting and healing my heart right now.
Seriously so lucky!
My youngest daughter is still in Florida but she should be home late tonight or sometime tomorrow.
So, my sister and I co-hosted this memorial dinner thing for my father on Saturday night. We invited a little over 20 people and lots of things went well. The decorations, the food, the support - it was great. What was not so great was that my sister got shit-faced and caused half the guests to leave early, and others to become upset and feel very uncomfortable.
My sister and I left my mom's house an hour before the start of the dinner. Her boot had a broken heel, so we went to the shoe store so she could buy a replacement shoe. We had a half-hour left, so we went to the bar across the street from the place where we were holding the event. My sister had two SoCo doubles in that time frame.
Before she started drinking, she started crying and telling me how much she hated her life, how she never should have married her husband and how he was so unsupportive to her. She said she married him and stayed with him because she wanted all of her children to have the same father. I told her that there wasn't someone handing out awards for that, at the end of your life. It wasn't like "congratulations! Your kids have the same DNA combo!" She then told me that her oldest never came home anymore - he is in drama club and stays after school until 9 pm working on stuff, mostly because he wants to stay away from their drama. She said she didn't blame him, because all she and her husband do is fight.
Her husband then started texting her and telling her she was selfish and instead of being out with me at a bar, she should be home with my mom. She texted back about her shoe and how she was just unwinding with me before the dinner but he didn't care. He called then and yelled at her and said that she wasn't like me and she needed to be responsible. I asked her after she hung up what that meant, and she said that he meant that she didn't get to go do whatever she wanted in life. I told her that sounded like controlling bullshit to me. And uh, I it's not like I spend my days in bars. I don't even drink very much when I am in one.
TBC
I am back in Maryland now. Today, I have been given the day off. I feel like I need a week but this is what I can give myself without messing with our schedule, so this is what I am taking. I had great sexy times with PunkRock this morning, though neither of us got off. It was like a promise, and I can't wait to see him when he gets home from work! He brought me a big thick slice of triple chocolate cake and a glass of milk to the bedroom before he left, for me to eat for breakfast. DarkKnight had been gently chiding me to get back on my diet now that I am back home, but PunkRock apparently didn't care.
That said, DarkKnight just came to visit me upstairs (he has a break from work every day at 9 am) and he gave me kisses and pets and says that he will be bringing me Alekos for lunch. Alekos is a Greek drive-thru restaurant nearby that makes the best subs. So apparently he too wants me to just sleep and concentrate on resting and healing my heart right now.
Seriously so lucky!
My youngest daughter is still in Florida but she should be home late tonight or sometime tomorrow.
So, my sister and I co-hosted this memorial dinner thing for my father on Saturday night. We invited a little over 20 people and lots of things went well. The decorations, the food, the support - it was great. What was not so great was that my sister got shit-faced and caused half the guests to leave early, and others to become upset and feel very uncomfortable.
My sister and I left my mom's house an hour before the start of the dinner. Her boot had a broken heel, so we went to the shoe store so she could buy a replacement shoe. We had a half-hour left, so we went to the bar across the street from the place where we were holding the event. My sister had two SoCo doubles in that time frame.
Before she started drinking, she started crying and telling me how much she hated her life, how she never should have married her husband and how he was so unsupportive to her. She said she married him and stayed with him because she wanted all of her children to have the same father. I told her that there wasn't someone handing out awards for that, at the end of your life. It wasn't like "congratulations! Your kids have the same DNA combo!" She then told me that her oldest never came home anymore - he is in drama club and stays after school until 9 pm working on stuff, mostly because he wants to stay away from their drama. She said she didn't blame him, because all she and her husband do is fight.
Her husband then started texting her and telling her she was selfish and instead of being out with me at a bar, she should be home with my mom. She texted back about her shoe and how she was just unwinding with me before the dinner but he didn't care. He called then and yelled at her and said that she wasn't like me and she needed to be responsible. I asked her after she hung up what that meant, and she said that he meant that she didn't get to go do whatever she wanted in life. I told her that sounded like controlling bullshit to me. And uh, I it's not like I spend my days in bars. I don't even drink very much when I am in one.
TBC
Bluebird
Well-known member
We did make it over to the venue and the memorial went very well, except for my sister.
Not to get into all the horrible details, but my sister ended up insanely drunk. She made multiple comments to people about how PunkRock shouldn't be present, and at one point she yelled across the venue that everyone knew that I was a pimp and I didn't need to keep talking about my lifestyle. (I was talking to my uncle about spreading my dad's ashes in May.) She got into a physical fight with her husband in the parking lot and when PunkRock and I left, she climbed into the front seat and talked about grossly inappropriate things. (How she would give him $2 for eating her out.)
I didn't know where to take her or what to do. We were all supposed to meet at my mom's house afterward, but my sister was screaming in the parking lot and I was afraid my mom would end up losing her housing due to the disturbance. My brother drove her to a nearby bar and left her there. My sister then called and asked us to pick her up and take her to her car, but we all told her no and then hung up.
That was the last time I talked to her - though we have texted a couple of times since then.
Truly, there are more details that are worse.
Overall though, to bring this back to a more poly-oriented focus, things were good. My mom gave PunkRock a welcoming hug, and my brother had lunch with us Saturday before the dinner. I think that everyone is ok with my choice as my choice, even if they wouldn't choose it for themselves. I honestly believe my sister would be more accepting, it's just that she is terribly jealous that my life is going so well. She told me that 3 days after our dad died, her husband told her that she shouldn't be focusing on my mom so much and that she had to stop spending so much time at her apartment. I told my sister that my guys would never tell me to not help my mom, much less 3 days after finding my dad's body on the floor. Are you kidding me???
Ugh.
Right now though, I am just going day by day with what is happening here. My mom may end up moving in with us, or she might not. I am not going to worry about it until it is an issue. We all know it is a possibility, but there's not much to do but wait and see. I haven't heard about my van yet, so we will just wait and see if it is really going to be totaled or if I will get it back fixed up. My house is gross and dirty but I can't handle cleaning right now so I will just do the bit I feel comfortable with and ignore the rest until tomorrow. We aren't going to die from the filth at this point so I am not going to stress over it.
Not to get into all the horrible details, but my sister ended up insanely drunk. She made multiple comments to people about how PunkRock shouldn't be present, and at one point she yelled across the venue that everyone knew that I was a pimp and I didn't need to keep talking about my lifestyle. (I was talking to my uncle about spreading my dad's ashes in May.) She got into a physical fight with her husband in the parking lot and when PunkRock and I left, she climbed into the front seat and talked about grossly inappropriate things. (How she would give him $2 for eating her out.)
I didn't know where to take her or what to do. We were all supposed to meet at my mom's house afterward, but my sister was screaming in the parking lot and I was afraid my mom would end up losing her housing due to the disturbance. My brother drove her to a nearby bar and left her there. My sister then called and asked us to pick her up and take her to her car, but we all told her no and then hung up.
That was the last time I talked to her - though we have texted a couple of times since then.
Truly, there are more details that are worse.
Overall though, to bring this back to a more poly-oriented focus, things were good. My mom gave PunkRock a welcoming hug, and my brother had lunch with us Saturday before the dinner. I think that everyone is ok with my choice as my choice, even if they wouldn't choose it for themselves. I honestly believe my sister would be more accepting, it's just that she is terribly jealous that my life is going so well. She told me that 3 days after our dad died, her husband told her that she shouldn't be focusing on my mom so much and that she had to stop spending so much time at her apartment. I told my sister that my guys would never tell me to not help my mom, much less 3 days after finding my dad's body on the floor. Are you kidding me???
Ugh.
Right now though, I am just going day by day with what is happening here. My mom may end up moving in with us, or she might not. I am not going to worry about it until it is an issue. We all know it is a possibility, but there's not much to do but wait and see. I haven't heard about my van yet, so we will just wait and see if it is really going to be totaled or if I will get it back fixed up. My house is gross and dirty but I can't handle cleaning right now so I will just do the bit I feel comfortable with and ignore the rest until tomorrow. We aren't going to die from the filth at this point so I am not going to stress over it.
Bluebird
Well-known member
She never should have married him. Their fights are epic.
My guys were so great today. PunkRock took me out to dinner and then we did some grocery shopping. I did end up cleaning my master bath, so I had a safe space that was clean. I also emptied and scrubbed out the fridge before putting groceries away. Now that I think about it, PunkRock loaded and ran the dishwasher and DarkKnight emptied and washed down the garbage can while I was doing that. Teamwork! I am running some laundry right now, but I gave up on my own after putting away two full loads for DarkKnight. His love language is Acts of Service, so whenever I have the chance, I like to handle some specific-to-him chore to make him feel special.
Tonight is snuggle time for DarkKnight and I, so right now we're both relaxing in my bedroom, chatting while we use our devices. I'm on my phone, he's on his iPad. PunkRock is in the basement, getting some much needed paint time in.
This week should be fun - well, full anyway. My youngest comes home from her trip to Orlando tomorrow morning, and then my two kiddos here have dental cleanings in the afternoon. Wednesday we are all going to watch another episode of the Great Courses history lectures that we're slowly making our way through, and on Thursday, PunkRock and I are going to a sploshing class. The corset class we were planning to attend on Sunday was canceled because of weather, so I hope this one is held. It costs, but PunkRock is REALLY into sploshing. I'm kinda meh on it, but he enjoys it so much I am always happy to break out the caramel topping or EZ Cheese.
My guys were so great today. PunkRock took me out to dinner and then we did some grocery shopping. I did end up cleaning my master bath, so I had a safe space that was clean.
I also emptied and scrubbed out the fridge before putting groceries away. Now that I think about it, PunkRock loaded and ran the dishwasher and DarkKnight emptied and washed down the garbage can while I was doing that. Teamwork! I am running some laundry right now, but I gave up on my own after putting away two full loads for DarkKnight. His love language is Acts of Service, so whenever I have the chance, I like to handle some specific-to-him chore to make him feel special. Tonight is snuggle time for DarkKnight and I, so right now we're both relaxing in my bedroom, chatting while we use our devices. I'm on my phone, he's on his iPad. PunkRock is in the basement, getting some much needed paint time in.
This week should be fun - well, full anyway. My youngest comes home from her trip to Orlando tomorrow morning, and then my two kiddos here have dental cleanings in the afternoon. Wednesday we are all going to watch another episode of the Great Courses history lectures that we're slowly making our way through, and on Thursday, PunkRock and I are going to a sploshing class. The corset class we were planning to attend on Sunday was canceled because of weather, so I hope this one is held. It costs, but PunkRock is REALLY into sploshing. I'm kinda meh on it, but he enjoys it so much I am always happy to break out the caramel topping or EZ Cheese.
Wiktionary says it's "wet and messy fetishism," and there's a Wikipedia article on it but I guess I get the basic idea.