Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Oh! Just realized that I wrote a date wrong earlier - TODAY is the day I met PunkRock, 2 years ago. ❤️

Woke up to a bummer message though - my friend is rescheduling our jewelry session. I am ok with that though - my to-do list is a mile long. I got a message yesterday asking again, please teach chemistry! So I plan to scope out the chemical suppliers by next week, to see really, if it is financially feasible again. And I told my guys we are meeting Saturday for our "State of the Union" so there's a firm deadline on that now. :)

Plus, finishing the organization of my daughter's two classes.

Sigh. And I need to now take my son to work, because his car didn't get finished at the shop.
 
Yeah, all 3 of my kids were adopted as older children, so it was a bit emotional for me too. They all have siblings that they have come back into contact with after being separated. Course, they knew about each other, but it still has been an up and down journey for all of them. Actually, we are hoping my youngest daughter will be able to visit her younger birth sister in Colorado this summer. :)
 
That's great that you're so supportive and educated about their need for that connection, Bluebird. Mine was a closed adoption and I "broke the law" to find my birth mother 20 years ago. Finding her put me back together in ways that I never knew I was broken. When the sisters in the film said "pop pop" I could feel what it meant to them.
 
I am finally out of bed this morning. I was hoping to be able to sleep in, but my cats had other ideas. Instead, I spent 4 hours trying to avoid them pawing at me and demanding attention.

But, it's all ok now, because WarMan is home! He is driving to my house from the airport, so I need to shower before he arrives. I am so excited to see him!
 
OMG Soooooo much going on - I don't know if I have time to update on everything or not, but I will try!

WarMan came back on New Year's Eve and we had an awesome reunion. :) I ended up spending the day with him back at his house, and then we joined my husbands back at home for the evening. The plan was to play a round of Zombicide Rue Morgue, and then head back to his house, as both my husbands wanted to go to bed before midnight. However, we played through one board rather quickly, so we decided to do a second campaign. It was 1 am and we still weren't finished, so we threw in the towel then. To be fair, it was clear we were going to win, it was just a matter of grinding through the deck to finish, and we were all exhausted.

WarMan and I had sex quite a few times, and it was amazing each time. I feel like we are SO very compatible in that way. It was great to reconnect with him and then fall asleep in his arms. We spent all of Friday together, and he shared the news that he in fact had to turn around and fly back to Louisiana on Saturday night. (Tonight.) Which absolutely sucks, but it is what it is. He should be back next week by Thursday, depending on what he gets accomplished. The worst news is that on January 11, he will be flying out to Las Vegas for at least a week.

He told me that his boss has shared that there is a lot of travel in his future. This has made me understandably upset. I am keeping it together though. Warman says he can push back a bit and see how much wiggle room he has, meaning other people can travel too - not just him. That said, they are understaffed and he doesn't have kids at home that he is responsible for, so he is first up, apparently. He said, honestly, if he didn't have me in his life, he'd be apt to take all of the travel thrown at him.

I have to say I am really glad he is being up front about this with me, as it gives me time to think it over and prepare mentally for changes. Also, since it could so greatly change the nature of our relationship, I need to know these things. I never would have started dating him if his job was travel-heavy, that's for sure. Now I have to adjust, possibly. The other thing though, that is awesome, is that he is actively considering my needs. I feel very loved by him, that is for sure.

For one, he made it so he could come home for New Year's for me, even though we didn't have any big plans. He knew I was missing him, and he made sure he could come home to be with me, and it created a lot of travel on his part, to head back to Maryland, and then turn around and fly back a couple of days later. For two, he invited me to go to Las Vegas with him on the 11th! This is exciting, because I have never been there before. That said though, I declined, because that is the date I am getting my dental implant, and I don't want to reschedule that. I am actually starting to get very stressed about the surgery, and putting it off will just heighten my anxiety.

Still, both of these things are incredibly sweet, and incredibly loving, and I feel like WarMan is showing me he is willing to do everything in his power to make me feel cherished, even if he ends up having to travel a lot.

So we will see what happens. Anyway, our relationship is going really well, and I am definitely in love with him more - every time I see him, or think of him, I get a big goofy smile on my face. Swoon!

What else? Tonight was our big family finance meeting. I managed to pull it off. We are going to have a second meeting at the end of the month, because after figuring everything out, I realized that I needed a new pay stub from each of my husbands, so I could check out their benefits and deductions with the 2016 info on there. Also, because we are gearing up to buy a house in a year, I need to pull credit reports from each of the 3 companies for each of us and see where we have to do repairs or improve things. So I am going to do that in a couple of weeks and then we will regroup and discuss where we are at.

Financially things are actually looking up. It was interesting to see what my guys wanted to talk about and once again I am so impressed at how much teamwork we all have when together. Our plans for the future mesh well and they are on board with what I wanted to do this year. It's so stressful to be in charge of mapping this out for us, but it is always necessary and I feel good when it is done!

The cool part is that when we came home from the meeting, I had an email from my friend about our annual homeschooling trip to Great Wolf Lodge, and I was able to make reservations for March 7-11. PunkRock and I have gone for 3 years now with my daughter. So freaking awesome! I am planning to do couples massages again with PunkRock that week. It was heavenly last time! That said, I am also hoping to - as early as this next week - to try out "flotation tanks" at a business here in town with PunkRock. DarkKnight isn't interested, but I am really needing a stress reliever and I hope it will both help and be a fun thing to do!

I spent an hour tonight writing a college recommendation for a kid I taught in my Chemistry class a while back, so that took some time. I actually hadn't planned on writing it this weekend, just registering on the recommendation website (he's applying to Duke and Cornell) but when he messaged me on Friday, he failed to mention that the deadlines were this weekend! So, I cranked it out.

I am still debating on teaching Chemistry this Spring. I promised interested parents that I would make a decision early next week, so tomorrow I will be busy making lists. DarkKnight brought in my storage tote, so I need to sort through it and see what supplies I have on hand for that class, though I don't think I have many. Most of the chemicals I didn't store, but instead donated or used up. I need to find the paperwork, read through the syllabus and make changes as needed, before researching chemical costs. So anyway, that's tomorrow. The good news is that financially, I don't really need to teach, but I feel like I should, so I am contributing to our bottom line. That said though, maybe it would be better use of that time working on our credit - some of it is going to take a TON of hours to clean and repair. I've been through the process before with my ex, so I kinda know what to expect in that regard. So, I really need to weigh the pros and cons on this.

Um, what else? Lots of discussion tonight I want to write about later, I suppose. It's almost 11 pm and my daughter is needing some attention, and so are my husbands.

I am so happy right now!
 
Oh, you are always so, so busy! I feel like a total slug when I read your posts, LOL.

I think the fact that WarMan has to travel a lot for his job will be good for you, actually. You will be able to see that distance here and there and a somewhat unpredictable schedule doesn't have to mean you're not connected. At least he is giving you as much advance notice as he can. Plus, it's easier on you to schedule your husbands when it's just the two of them in town, so it gives you a bit of a break now and then (and think of the swag he might bring back, heh-heh).

Honestly, though, it sounds like it is something he needs to do in his position and he's probably building up good cred with his bosses by going, so I wouldn't give in to disappointment too often if possible. And -- reunion sex!!!

It sounds like the two of you are finding your groove together as you are getting to know each other better and feeling more comfortable with each other. That is awesome!

Floatation Tank!!!??? Wow, I hadn't thought about things like that since the 80s. I'm pretty sure I did one and liked it, but I don't recall much about it.
 
Oh, I don't think WarMan being gone is at all good for me, but I am hanging in there. I talked about it with my husbands yesterday, and they both agreed that they thought I was coping better than expected - so far.

On that note - they were surprised initially, I think, that I scheduled the financial meeting without WarMan present, and that none of my written materials referenced him at all. WarMan himself told me the other day that he thought it felt weird that I was having this meeting that might be affecting him later in the future, but since our relationship isn't as far along, it did feel a little strange to maybe be there. Honestly, it felt strange to me to hold it without him, but he isn't integrated into our family finances at all at this point, and we haven't had further discussion about him moving in a while. So, to me, it's like, I need to have my annual road map, and though it may need to adjust to include him shortly, it would not be prudent to fail to plan, and it is very important that I have my guide without making assumptions about our future together.

We're moving and buying a house. Adding him into that future would be easier than having to write him out. If that makes sense. Shit, that sounds callous. But it is important to me to know that I don't jeopardize my husbands' future by pinning hopes on a relationship that is 5 months old. That said, when he is back from his traveling and has more than a second to breathe, I am excited to talk and to share all the info with WarMan, so he is in the loop with how things are going.

OMG you guys - poly finances! You wanna hear about it, read on!

Life insurance - I still feel like we are woefully short on this, and changes need to be made. Honestly, the amount on me is fine for now. I don't owe anything or really earn anything. My death benefit will be split evenly between DarkKnight & PunkRock. As far as PunkRock goes, he's still earning significantly less than DarkKnight, and his two policies add up to more than adequate and they all pay out to me. I believe he actually has enough, but the cost is killing us since he's got us paying smoker prices. Hoping in 2016 he can cut out the nicotine gum and kick his habit so we can decrease the cost significantly. DarkKnight needs LOTS more insurance, but we are kinda maxed out due to his weight. We were denied an increase in his policy last year so he's going to work hard at losing pounds so we can up his payout. I'm the primary and I believe my oldest daughter is the secondary right now - and if that is the case, we need to change that to PunkRock. I can't remember. Anyway, being able to increase his policies is a priority and we will revisit it next year if he's managed to lose weight. I am positive he will be successful, actually. He is motivated and counts calories like a mofo.

Retirement - This is a topic I have put high on the priority list this year. It's important to me that my guys can eventually stop working, you know? DarkKnight's 401(k) is ticking right along, growing by a couple of hundred dollars each pay period. We plan on taking a loan against it to pay for our house, and right now we're planning around $15,000. We could take a direct withdrawal, but the plan at the moment is to do it as a loan, so he can pay himself back. Anyway, we will look more at that idea in the Fall, as the purchase gets closer, right now we are happy with the amount getting forked over to here. PunkRock JUST started contributing to his retirement, and he's really far behind. He's paying in 11% of his wages to try and get something started, but even that is sort of small considering his salary sucks. Still, it's something. We talked about what will happen to it if he stays home for a year or so to work on the house we buy, as opposed to working part time. Tabled the talk for now - it'll really depend on the property purchase. I have no retirement plans, other than to continue to mooch off my guys, at the moment.

House Purchase - Our end of the month meeting is going to focus more on this. Basically I am going to continue to research potential areas and neighborhoods. I will be focusing on credit repair as needed this year and hopefully in the Fall we will be in a place to speak to a mortgage broker on how best to structure our loan. I have negligible income coming in from teaching, but my youngest daughter's subsidy can be counted - tax free - since it will be paid until she is 21. However, having me on the loan may not be wise as my home foreclosure with my ex husband will still be on my credit report. It might be old enough to not matter, but we will have to see. PunkRock's credit took hard hits a couple years ago when he was unemployed, but I believe (without looking yet) that this will be an easier fix. His income being so low though, having him as the primary person on the loan doesn't make the application strong. DarkKnight has enough income to qualify, but I am afraid his credit will need the most work. When I was going through the home forclosure with my ex, he became unemployed and we started the bankruptcy process, letting all of his credit cards go into default, at the advice of our lawyer. Then we didn't end up declaring bankruptcy at all, and his credit was just trashed. Sigh. Now all that stuff is 6 years old, so depending on things, we might be able to get it off the report. I am certainly going to try! The other good news is that I have been really working to get positives on there - he's paying his student loan solid, and he's an authorized user on his work credit card, so those are both positive trade lines which may be helping his score. We will see soon enough!

Anyway, I do believe we will be able to qualify for a mortgage, especially with $15,000 down and one less than $85,000, which is the number I have been searching at as a maximum. How it will be structured is another thing entirely. All 3 of us trust each other enough to not be a part of the paperwork, if that is necessary. However, it's important to me that we meet with a financial planner in the Fall to make sure that everyone's interests are covered in case of a breakup down the line. Like, if DarkKnight contributes the $15,000 but everything is in PunkRock's name. Or everything is in DarkKnight's name, but PunkRock spends a year working nonstop to make the place fabulous with his mad construction skills. I don't want them to feel like they could become homeless, or that their contribution could become worthless.

So that's where we are at with that.

Most of the finance meeting didn't revolve around these topics though. A lot of it was focused on deposits and budgeting monthly utilities, and discussions on changing habits. I need to do more couponing, for example. We discussed cell phones and technology purchases and furniture that may need to be replaced. Stuff like that. What vacations we need to budget for, and vehicle maintenance costs for the year. Math. Really, it's a wake up call to everyone as far as - this is what we are spending, and this is what we will need to buy this year. Is this acceptable? Is there anything you want to make sure gets bought? Stuff like that.
 
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Re WarMan, with the economy not as recovered as people like to think it is, and many companies having cut their travel budgets because they're struggling, I think it is a good sign that his company sends him places. At least it means he's working for a company that can afford to do that, which means stability (as much as you can count on any job). So, you can be happy for him that he's not working for a company that is in trouble.
 
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True.

OMG y'all. I am all set for Chemistry! I found my old supplier online, and should be able to get all the chemicals I need for my class for around $140. So, that makes it affordable. Most of my glassware survived storage (I broke a test tube today) so most of what I make in class fees will be profit. Booyah! Unfortunately, I will have to retype all of my question sheets, because for some reason I only have 5 or so saved on my computer, and there are 25 weeks of this nonsense. Sigh. I knocked out 4 today. I plan to do at least 4 a day, working alongside my daughter as she is doing stuff for school each afternoon. That should get it all finished rather soon, I hope. Class will start on February 2. I need at least 6 kids to make this course a decent wage for me, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I get some sign ups!

Guh. I was able to print most of everyone's credit reports today for free, but one of DarkKnight's spit back that I needed to request it by mail, and two of PunkRock's did the same. At first glance, I see a lot of things I can dispute and possibly get removed really quickly, so I am optimistic. That said, some of those sucky tradelines are going to be a bitch.
 
Wow! Yesterday I had a crazy amount of sex. Once with DarkKnight, 3 times with PunkRock. My guys were sexy as hell and I couldn't get enough!

That said, I think I have a yeast infection. After all the lovin from WarMan, I woke up a few days ago feeling slightly itchy, but that went away, so I didn't treat. Last night I was like, yep, here we go. Things still didn't feel too bad, but I had a Monistat kit already in the cabinet and one Diflucan from a previous issue, so I got started on both. This morning I feel loads better.

I started counting calories again - I need to lose 26.8 pounds to be back at the weight I was when I met PunkRock. Yesterday, my diet went great. I hope it continues smoothly!

Both PunkRock and WarMan let me know that I should have PMS this week. Jerkfaces, with their fancy cycle trackers! I actually find it hilarious. I had mild cramping last night and actually I had a huge mood swing where I suddenly felt so very sad and was missing WarMan so very much. He called and talked to me for a short bit and that helped. Then I played 2 games of Pandemic with DarkKnight - lost the first but won the last, so that made me feel happier.

I started prepping for our credit repair, and opted out at all the credit bureaus. That's always the first step. I got together the forms & ID needed to request the reports for DarkKnight and PunkRock - they had been denied online copies so I have to mail out requests on a couple for them. They'll be in the mailbox today. That slows things down some because I can't move forward without the reports. Lol

I now need to take the time to set up a file box with folders and lay out a game plan for each negative tradeline. It'll take some time, but it is worth it.

I have a long to-do list today and a lot of running around to do. Bank, transfers, OfficeMax, medication, Walmart, post office. I need to bang out some Chemistry questions - so far I have 4 confirmation emails from parents but no payments yet. My daughter just popped her head in and said she wants to go over her coursework after she showers, so I guess I will chill for a bit and plan to do my errands all afternoon.
 
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Ended today just feeling awful. My acid reflux is worse than ever and I just wish it would stop already. It isn't as bad as when I wasn't on meds and was still undiagnosed, back then I would cough so hard I would vomit every single night, but I have to say tonight was pretty close. Ugh. I cut out dairy this year in a major way, and for a while that seemed to have helped, but the last couple of weeks have been horrid.

I know that gaining 20 lbs in 2 years has had a lot to do with it, and I am taking steps now to adjust that. And I know raw onions and red sauce also cause me to cough like crazy, but tonight seems to just be awful. I think diet soda might be triggering it too - I have had zip the last few days but had some tonight and now I am coughing. I dunno though. All I do know is that it's terrible and no one is here that will listen to me whine about it! DarkKnight never indulges me - he just rolls over and tells me it's sleep time. It's hard to sleep when you're coughing your stomach out!

PunkRock spent last night with me and the entire day today - we went to his aunt's funeral, out to lunch with his dad and stepmom and brother - and then took a 2 hour nap upon arriving back home. We had dinner with DarkKnight and my kids and then curled up and watched the Aristocats on VHS. He'd never seen it, so what the hell? :) Anyway, he would love on me a bit more if he were here right now, but he texted me goodnight an hour ago and I know he is most likely snoring now downstairs. He has to be up at 4 am, so I'm not going to disturb him just to whine about feeling awful.

WarMan is still in Louisiana. He says he is coming home on Thursday at 5 am. I won't see him til the evening though, as my daughter has an appointment that day at the trade school she is more than likely going to attend in the Fall. I messaged him a short bit ago, but no response, so he's prolly sleeping too.

I suppose I will just suffer in silence alone, interspersed with short barks of interrupted breathing. Sigh. << Sarcasm, but seriously, I feel crappy.

Oh, of course, pair this horrible reflux with my period, which has caused me to be crampy and dehydrated, and I have a terrible headache as well. Oh, and of course my coochie is filled with Monistat too, so gross. Everything is NOT awesome.

Oh! And I am re-reading The Bell Jar at the moment (assigning it to my daughter for February) so even trying to stay awake and focus on that until I feel sleepy - right! Sylvia Plath is great for when you're already feeling miserable and out of sorts - not!

I wish I felt slightly better, because then I would go downstairs and take down part of my Christmas tree. The headache though stops that from even being an option.

I'm miserable and I need pets and hugs and someone to love me!!!
 
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Sorry about the reflux, Bluebird :( I know how horrible it can be. And, sometimes, mine flares up for no apparent reason and on nothing more than water. So frustrating. I know it's supposedly tied to weight, but mine was the absolute worst when I was at my skinniest. Idk why?

I hope it cleared up and you feel better today! ((Hugs))
 
Thanks - I am feeing a bit better today. I am trying to be good and figure out what exactly is causing the reflux to flare, but yeah, it sometimes seems like nothing at all.

Still in bed this morning - I really don't want to shower and get dressed or do anything at all, really. DarkKnight brought me some chai an hour ago when he was on break, and I spoke to WarMan for a short bit on the phone. PunkRock sent me some good morning lovey messages. I am so lazy feeling today though!

I need to take my daughter to a doctor appointment at 1 pm today though, so at some point I will have to behave like an adult. I supposeI could use this slug-a-bed time to make another to-do list.

*I picked up my scrapbook page copies the other day, so I need to sleeve them and mount the envelopes. This will take at least 3-4 hours, because there are two scrapbooks and each has 5 envelopes, I think. I need to print out the information to go into the envelopes too. The time involved comes from having to design and decorate the outside of the envelopes. Also, my mom had questions when I gave her, her copy of the scrapbook, so I need to do some research to clarify a point before mailing these 2 out to my Aunts in Florida. I hope to have them in the mail next Tuesday. I will take a couple of pictures to share - that may motivate me to actually complete this. :)

*Mutter Museum! I bought materials to create an ornament for my Christmas tree marking the trip here that PunkRock and I took last year. Everything is on my craft desk, but nothing has been done.

*My Christmas tree is up and my living room is decorated still, and all of the totes and boxes are in the corner of my dining room. Seriously need to get this stuff sorted and stored back in the attic!

*I need to do some follow up emails for my Chemistry class. I think I may have a wait list. I also need to do more typing. I think have have through week 8 finished on questions. There are 25 weeks, so I need to do more work to complete these. I then will need to do lab sheets. Feh.

*I'm the Welcome Wagon person for our homeschool group. I have one new member to send an email to today, and another new member to assign a mentor to as well.

*I need to fill out paperwork for my son to get an ObamaPhone and off my cellphone plan.

*Folder-making has commenced, but I need to finish organizing paperwork for my credit repair undertaking this year.

*Today's homeschooling stuff for my daughter includes talking about Act 3 of The Crucible, and discussing how far she has progressed in writing her first scholarship essay.

There's more but I don't feel like doing any of this even, so why bother? Lol Oh, I am so lazy today! I did finish reading The Bell Jar this morning. I feel drained from my period - last night was super heavy flow and I'm just so bleh. Maybe I will shower, have lunch with DarkKnight and then focus on one of those list items like a mofo until it's time to take my daughter to the doctor for her Depo shot? Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Watch me knock this one thing out of the park. :)
 
Cut out the diet soda it is a known cause of weight gain and not to mention other health issues. I have a minor in biochemistry my professors would have a fit when they would see students drinking diet soda. Your body cannot process the artificial sweeteners it turns them into toxins

You are a thousand times better off drinking soda made from sugar.
 
Diet soda is horrible on your stomach in general. Have you thought about getting a soda stream or similar thing so you could make your own fizzy beverages without the chemicals? Also, when I had stomach acid issues, plain water was the WORST! I couldn't keep it down for months.
 
I am going to try to cut out all soda - diet or regular. :)

This morning, everyone would be proud of me. I did nothing on my list above. Instead, I cleaned by master bathroom counter and straightened under the sink. I then spent a large chunk of time writing curriculum and finding links to support that for my daughter's upcoming Participation in Government class - for January we are going to look at American Federalism and how states rights/federal rights issues are being fought today in regards to gay marriage (and poly rights!), education and healthcare.

Oh, just realized I did talk with her about The Crucible and other items too, so I guess I did cross something off the list. My laundry is in the washer now too, so this morning was somewhat productive. I'm off to the doctor appointment now - it's actually at 1:30.
 
Sylvia Plath is so depressing and periods suck. I love being done with those.

Do you take Prilosec?
 
Yeah, the prescription Prilosec. I've been on two other prescriptions previously, but they eventually stopped working.
 
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Twice a day? I was on them for years, once a day. Now I only need to take it twice a week!

I really need to limit tomato sauces to be comfortable. And I can't do peppers at all. Nothing, not even paprika or green peppers.
 
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