Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Oh thank goodness! My students both showed up and I am for 100% done teaching Chemistry now. I just printed out almost all of the official grade transcripts for the class, and hopefully I will mail them this week. I'm out of stamps, or else they'd be gone right now. :) The students that were here today each have the final quiz to complete, and once I get those back, I'll be able to finish their transcripts as well. So very happy!

Next week I should be able to concentrate fully on my Fall offering of Astronomy. I need to drag out the syllabus and curriculum and make sure everything is up to date. I am sure it isn't - it's a been over a year since I taught this class, and things are always changing. Plus, I need to schedule field trips. I plan to head over to Starbucks every day and concentrate completely on knocking all of the work out quickly. How did it get to be August already?! This class starts in September!

I am waiting now for it to be 3:30, at which point DarkKnight and I will head over to the gym to do the weight training circuit. I had SUCH a desire to go do some cardio this morning, but it wasn't meant to be. I need to break from that anyway. The schedule is cardio every other day, opposite the weight training. I honestly know that I won't lose pounds at the gym, but I do feel like it will tone me up a bit while I work on cutting calories. So far, I haven't cut any calories, but that is part of my plan. :)
 
I am seriously going to cry. I was teary last night, stressing over today's dental appointment. I am awake right now, getting ready to take PunkRock to work so I can keep the car. My plan is to drop him off and the go to Aqua Zumba from 8-9 am. I was going to skip it today but last night at dinner, PunkRock encouraged me to attend, saying he thought it would help me burn off some of my anxiety. I dunno. I decided to give it a shot, though I am so very apprehensive about later! My crown placement is scheduled for 10 am.

To try and minimize my recovery time from the stress, I decided I'd make myself responsible for dinner tonight - I'm planning on making buttermilk fried chicken, from a couple of whole chickens. I have never cut up a chicken before, so should be fun. :) I am also planning on making coleslaw from scratch. Oh, and afterward I want to go over to the game store and destroy PunkRock in WarMachine. We have friends heading over at 4 pm, but PunkRock works until 4:30. Oooh, looking at that timeline - that just probably isn't going to work, because unless I have everything ready to go as soon as I go and grab him from his job, making dinner will take too long. Hmmm maybe I can send DarkKnight to retrieve PunkRock, while I stay and get everything ready for dinner. That might work...
 
Today has been an up and down day for me. This will be disjointed, since my thoughts are that way right now.

I took PunkRock to work and then did my Aqua Zumba this morning. I am glad I listened to PunkRock and went, because it did help my anxiety - while I was actually there. When I returned home and showered, I was shaking. DarkKnight drove with me to the oral surgeon, and things went sort of ok. I sat in the chair, cracked jokes when I was able, and got it done. I was pretty terrified the entire time though. I have an appointment on August 22 to get a scan done for my retainers for the Invisalign, so that was kind of not so good because I really need like a block of time where I can forget about my teeth and just chill for a bit without this fear permeating my being.

However, that's not meant to be. Because, you see, at dinner, the crown came out. Not just the crown but the post as well - the entire abutment. I almost burst into tears at the table.

This is total bullshit. The only instruction given to me was to not eat anything for a half hour, as the cement holding the abutment to the crown takes a while to set. I had a burger out with DarkKnight at lunch, and there were no issues. Actually, I had a wonderful lunch with DarkKnight - we played hangman while waiting for our food, and we were lovely together. I was shaky AF once we got back home though, as all the anxiety just caught up to me at once. I ended up going down to PunkRock's bedroom and falling asleep for a couple of hours.

I never nap, but it was pretty instantaneous. Actually, excepting tonight, I've slept like the dead lately - falling into bed and just passing out.

Anyway, I felt better upon waking. DarkKnight's office is right next door to PunkRock's bedroom, so I padded barefoot over there and got hugs. Then I stripped down to get ready to go pickup PunkRock from work. DarkKnight was feeing amorous, so we had sex in his recliner. It was awkward and amazing. I love this man - fumbling, eager, laughing - we were like a couple of kids having a romp. This. This is what a love relationship should be, in my opinion. Anyway, these sorts of things are few and far between with DarkKnight, but holy hell, did it lift my spirits. I felt wanted, desirable, loved. I am missing him right now as I write this, but it's almost 3 am and I am not about to go bother him upstairs.

Ok, um, so I picked up PunkRock and I was feeing oh so insecure. Which seems crazy, since I just had mad love with DarkKnight, but my anxiety lately doesn't care about sanity. So, I told him I'd rather not go out as planned to the game store but instead stay in and read or watch a show. He agreed easily, but we did end up going out to our favorite Mexican place. That's when my crown came out - but seriously, I WAS EATING RICE. One minute I am eating the next minute I am feeing this thing in my mouth. I didn't bite too hard, or have it stick to something, nope. Fucking rice.

I called the after hours place and then texted WarMan and DarkKnight to tell them what happened. WarMan responded right away and I was immediately regretting sending him a message. It was just automatic, something I have done for the past year. I didn't think about us being broken up - I was scared and texting my loves.

I apologized for bothering him and he told me that he still wanted to be my friend and basically that I was being unfair to him by not talking to him - that he was a decent person. I forget exactly how he worded it, but basically the gist was just because he didn't love me any more doesn't mean that he isn't a good person and friend.

This angered me so very much. I literally couldn't see. Now I can't sleep.

The feelings I am experiencing are so raw right now. I need space to think about what this last year experience of being with WarMan means to me and my life. I need to reclaim my story and myself. Most importantly, I think, is that he doesn't get to decide whether I am his friend or not. From the beginning of our relationship, he touted that fact over and over, that he is a nice guy, and that he is still friends with all of his ex-girlfriends. That's great, but did you take their hearts and smash them? Did you tell them you were willing to work at this in therapy, and not make any changes for two months, and then decide to bail in a month? That isn't someone I can rely on. That isn't a friend. That is someone who is taking my attachment issues and taking a big dump on them.

Tonight I was in bed with PunkRock and I was crying. I look at him and I don't trust him. I thought I had gotten to a point where things were healthy for me, but now - nope. I feel like such a shit for that. I find myself wondering when he will leave, when he will let me down. I told him I was having all these doubts and irrational thoughts that I am projecting on him from what happened with WarMan, and he just held me. I am not worthy.

I finally fell asleep and I had a terrible nightmare. So, I came upstairs (tonight was a sleepover with PunkRock) and I am typing this on my phone, on the couch. I read the book The Hypnotist's Love Story today. I just finished it. My friend sent it to me by way of her child when they were here the other day. I think it was a not so subtle hint that she misses me - I had stopped going to book club meetings since...I don't know. Months and months. I told her the a couple of weeks ago when I saw her that I thought WarMan and I were going to split up. She was sad for me, and asked me why. I told her because he doesn't love himself so he really shouldn't be dating anyone.

I really can't imagine being his friend. Like, what in the fucking world would that even look like? I can be friendly to him. That isn't a problem at all. A good part of my day, I am just detached from him. He's a non-person in my life now. He actually asked me if he should rush to move out but I told him no, which I think is fair. I don't see him anyway, and it doesn't bother me that he is in my house, honestly. When I am feeling this detachment, if I do see him downstairs or where ever, it's weird but I'm just like, hey. He could be anyone.

But to ask for a friendship? I have told him numerous times that I am not Monkey. I will not have him come to cuddle me on the couch and be "intimate friends" which doesn't even have a definition. I can be friendly, but right now I have no vision of what he is even asking for at all. He wants me to call him, send him texts when I need to talk to someone? Why would I do that, when he is wasn't willing to do that when it counted? I just can't fathom it. Someone that has treated me like a non-person and denied me physical touch when I needed it desperately - that is not someone I can look at as an outlet of any sort.

I have plenty of friends - guy friends - that I don't fuck and that I would never have a relationship with. However, those dudes didn't gaslight and love bomb me for a year and then desert me and tell me we should be just friends. I can't do that right now. It ain't happening.

But I guess what really upset me was that it wasn't really coached as a question or a request. It was more like a statement that there was something wrong with me to not want to have a friendship. I reject that. He does not get to decide that for me. I do. And right now, the answer is no. He can ask me again in a month, or a year. I guess he's had the time to close off himself to loving me, all this time that I have been struggling and working on us in therapy. I need at least that same amount of time. And even then it might not be enough. Attachment disorders don't have a forgive and forget button that makes everything ok.

What's crazy is that he destroyed this himself. I had a conversation with DarkKnight and PunkRock separately, a month or so ago, before therapy, and I told them I figured WarMan would be moving out. I was actually ok with continuing our relationship without cohabitating - I don't need that to feel entirely secure. We made plans, discussing what the transition might be like, but I told them that I was hoping he'd pull himself out of his depression and actually make it work. But he destroyed that possibility when he promised me to wait and make no changes until September. And when the therapist himself called him out on his duplicity - this desire to end things now - WarMan couldn't even come up with anything.

Not that he needed to say anything else. I was done at that point. I will not spend a minute fighting for something that is non-existent for someone else. If he had given up then it was a waste for me to even try. Maybe this is an unhealthy way to go about things but it's just a part of who I am. Any trust I cede to anyone is not freely given. I am difficult to love, in that regard. If someone takes that trust and shows me that they don't care about it, I can't continue, in any form. It just can't.

Ugh. Fuck dumping this all here. It's 3:30 now and I am exhausted. I am crazy anxious about my mouth. The on-call dentist told me to call the office at 7 am but at this point I think I will be sleeping then. God, I hope I will be sleeping then. I seriously can't take this idea of friendship with WarMan seriously. How can he just so calmly move me from a life partner who he loves to just a casual friend? It's foreign to me. I love fiercely, and fully. I don't discard people like that. Ugh. I have so much going on that I can't think straight right now. I need to sleep for a decade or so.
 
Well I woke back up after more nightmares, at 7:37 am. So that wasn't much sleep last night. I let PunkRock be and came upstairs on the couch again. The oral surgeon can see me today at 11:10, which should give me enough time to eat breakfast, cut up the 2 whole chickens I am supposed to prepare for dinner, and get over there.

I have a to-do list a mile long, and it is so hard to feel motivated when I am both sad and tired. However, my life won't work if I sit moping about. I am going to text PunkRock in a minute and see if he is awake now, to see if he can go to the dental office with me.
 
Hugs, BB...
 
Thanks. I need them.

My crown is back in place with little fanfare. PunkRockAwesomesauce went with me, but it was actually all anxiety build up that didn't end up going any place, thank goodness. What was funny was my friend was in the waiting room - her son is the one who went to the prom with my daughter! He was there getting all of his wisdom teeth out. Good times.
 
Bluebird said:
He was there getting all of his wisdom teeth out. Good times.
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Egad, I remember back in the '80s, having two wisdom teeth removed at one time. I didn't realize what I was in for and thought I could go to a Tears for Fears concert that night. There I was, curled up in my seat at Radio City, moaning, while my friends danced in the aisles. Yep, good times.
 
I had mine out, one at a time at age 18. They all came in sideways, and I had no insurance, and no money. So I had to get them done, one each month, with no novacaine. Good times.
 
Well when I had MINE out in the late '70's I had to do it myself with a flint ax in a snowstorm, uphill both ways!

Well actually I was given general anesthesia, got to lay about in bed for a few days contemplating if I actually looked better with my cheeks a bit swollen, while listening to the new album my boyfriend bought me. My biggest mistake was trying to chew an oreo. Good Times.

leetah
 
😀😀😀😀

Well yesterday evening turned out to be pretty great. I ended up going over to the game store by myself and hanging out with a bunch of people there for a few hours. I played a great game of WarMachine and won, so that's always good. I had been chatting with two of the guys on IM about getting together for a game but it didn't happen the previous day, so it was nice to make it happen yesterday. The guy I played against just had an appendectomy and has been out of work, so he has been thinking of quitting the league since he can't buy any new models. I let some others know that & lots of people told me they would let him borrow stuff, so he is pretty happy now. I was talking to someone else and they said they really feel that this dude is the smartest of the bunch and will prolly end up taking 2nd or 3rd in the league, so it just makes sense to really encourage him to keep playing. It's funny because I totally agree.

Anyway, it was really good for me to get away from all of my guys (ex included) for a space of time. As an extrovert, I recharge by being around others, so afterward I felt extremely up and positive. It's honestly the best I've felt in a long while. I invited over a few of the players to hang out tonight at my house to roll some dice. Hopefully they show up - I think they should.

I am up early today because I had to take PunkRock to work so I could keep the car to go to Aqua Zumba this morning. I would rather be sleeping right now and I have the feeling that I could pass out if I laid down right now. Since it starts at 8 am though, I will be remaining upright.:) I have SO MANY errands to run today, including a trip to the bank, to the post office and to the grocery store. All that will have to wait until after I get back from working out, showering and then running my budget. At some point I should prolly clean up the house a bit so it isn't terrible when people come over. :)
 
Ugh. My workout went ok, but halfway through I started getting a headache. Still, I stuck it out and finished. When I got back out to my car, I had messages waiting for me from Greg again. It feels nice to chat with someone, but I feel disingenuous. I mean, I am in no shape to date anyone. I don't have the desire. He says he knows this, but it's like, I know what he's doing. Back when I cut him off for PunkRock, he had messaged me one last time to tell me to PLEASE keep him in mind if things didn't work out, or if I wanted to date again. Then I ended up with WarMan. When he texted me and heard that I was seeing someone else, he was really bummed. But the truth is, WarMan contacted me, so I followed up on it. I believe Greg figures he can hang in there and be my friend and then swoop in if I get interested in opening up again. Which, really, just makes me feel bad because he is a great guy. I never friend-zoned him, he just wasn't PunkRock.

So I guess I will keep talking to him for now. I do like him as a person and as a dating partner. As long as he understands that I am not a dating partner and might never be, we're cool.

That said, holy crap - both my guys have been amazing lately with the sex they're dishing out. I posted the other day about DarkKnight banging me in his office - well, PunkRock surprised me in the shower yesterday! I have been getting clean just about every other morning downstairs in the basement bathroom, when I have to keep the car, so I don't disturb WarMan in the bathroom we share. Well, this was in the evening, and I hadn't had time to shower all day, so I stripped down to take care of that. PunkRock was taking a nap, but he woke up, kissed me and I teased him a little bit. I was really needing a shower though, so I told him that and invited him to join me if he wanted - not really thinking he would.

The basement shower is a walk-in stall, that is really more like a little square closet. PunkRock replaced the light in it with a blue bulb, so it is actually always fun to get clean there - it feels sorta futuristic a bit. Lol It's calming. Anyway, he DID join me. The space is really tiny, but we both did fit in, with a lot of slipping and sliding against each other. :) It was fun, and it made me feel really desirable. Which I guess was a good thing to feel before leaving to play WarMachine. :) I will have to see if sexing up before a game has an impact on my win-loss ratio. :) :)

So yeah, that was pretty great.

Anyway, today. I went on a lunch date with my daughter. She was excited to share some apartment hunting and rental info she had found out online. Our town is sorta expensive for 1 bedrooms, and I told her it might be better to not rent in the city. But really, she needs to decide what she's doing before she finds a place to live. This made her a little miffed, but really, she has declined to attend the HVAC trade school we worked on all year to prepare her for, and we are both certain she doesn't like any of the options available at the local community college. She is steadfast set that she doesn't want to go to a 4 year school, and since she is kinda floundering, I agree that would be a waste of money at this point. I keep trying to encourage her to take a gap year and travel, but she says she's had enough between Nepal last Fall and Denver this summer. She is currently only working sporadically on weekends bussing tables for the local dinner theater. So, who knows at this point. She is still doing worksheets and practicing for the ASVAB, but the National Guard isn't awarding signing bonuses and she is not enthusiastic about that either.

So sorting things out is sort of stressful. My older daughter called me today and we talked about her financing this coming year of college, and she's having trouble securing loans. I'm like ahhhhhh! I did ask her to please call her younger sister, to give her some perspective. I was hoping my youngest would move up to New York and rent an apartment with my other daughter. If she's uncertain, I would feel good that she's living with a good role model, at least. However, my youngest seems set that she wants to live alone for a while. We'll see, I guess. There's no hurry.
 
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Is there a good community college up where your older daughter lives? Even if they do not live together it might be a good thing to be near. Community college is a relatively good place to flounder as she can get her general ed stuff and/or trade school stuff depending on what she can get into each semester. She can work part or full time at the same time.
But I'm sure you know all this, you are really a paragon of planning.

Leetah
 
Yeah, I went to a community college myself, and received two Associate's Degrees before I transferred to a 4-year school. My oldest daughter has been at that same community college in NY for several years now, herself - she keeps changing her major. My son flunked out of at least 3. I am aware of them. :)

The issue is that she has looked over their offerings and isn't interested. Also, she is discouraged from applying because she is sure to be directed into non-credit classes for Math and English, because she won't score well on the entrance exams. Her brain disorder doesn't let her hang on to math facts or word definitions. She isn't keen to take out loans for classes that don't give credit. I've told her that the practice we are doing now for the ASVAB each day will help her there - she should be able to test into college algebra at the least, if not higher. She is capable of the work, it's just it doesn't stick long term. So far we have reviewed rules for fractions and decimals, and this week we are working on percentages. Next week will be exponents and then after that we'll do some geometry. She should be ok after that. As long as we keep doing the refreshers, she'll be ok. If I stopped for a month and then tested her again, it'd be gone.

One thing that has always kept me going is that with a lot of kids with this issue, it's a wasteland. They can't learn anything. But with my daughter, it's not. Her short term and long term memory are affected, but sometimes the synapses do fire, and she can collect information. She isn't stupid - though when we adopted her we were told her IQ was 70 and she'd never progress. That is very, very untrue. Everyone that meets her can tell her IQ is definitely not that low. She just can't demonstrate knowledge to score any higher on an IQ test. It's frustrating.

I really thought the hands on learning at the trade school was the way to go with her. She has always excelled with building things, creating things, working with tools. But she's put the brakes on that. And since it's $2200 to start, I do not want to shell that out and then have her quit. She is understanding of that, and agrees that she wants to think it over. So I don't know. I have encouraged her to take a gap year and travel, but she doesn't want to do that either.
 
I spent today hanging out with DarkKnight, playing Skyrim and snuggling on the couch with him. Well, until PunkRock came home. Then I stole back my car, ditched them both and went to the game store,where I played a round of WarMachine against Menoth and won. Then, I went back home, had dinner with both my guys (steak, yum!) and then dragged PunkRock out to play a game with me as well. I then beat him too. :) Yay!

I had spent a good part of the morning just feeling sad, and DarkKnight and I talked about this funk I am still feeling. I told him, straight up, even if WarMan came to me and told me he was getting into individual therapy and having his meds adjusted, I still wouldn't go back out with him. I feel like he has SO much work to do on himself that really shouldn't be seeing anyone until he works on his self esteem, breaks free this terrible co-dependent, emotionally abusive relationship with Monkey and gets his shit sorted. I don't see that happening, so...no.

I am sad. I am in mourning for what we had when things were good, and what might have been if he had been healthier. Things are feeing better for me, but healing will take a while. I really should not have dated him for as long as I did - we should have split a while ago. Still, I kept hoping things would work. Getting out and going to the game store helped my mood today. I think as long as I just keep acknowledging the sadness when it sweeps through, but not dwelling too long, and instead redirecting my energy someplace positive - I will feel better.

Today I did more work on house hunting and budgeting and our down payment numbers look good. We are definitely going to be right near 20% down. I was looking at properties online today and there were a bunch in the price range I like, and they looked great. I am excited! I am still questioning whether we will move to a new area and rent a house to see how we like the town, or if we'll just make the jump to relocate and buy. I think it will depend on where the place is located. I still flip back and forth between whether we will be in the city or out in the boonies. I believe if we end up with acreage, we'll just buy and be done with it. Downtown in a city...it makes more sense to me to rent first to see if we like the community.

DarkKnight is just so laid back about our choices - he would prefer city life, but he's cool to other options as well. PunkRock likes both options equally, I think. I think I could be happy anyplace, as long as I have my loves with me. ❤️ Still, it's a big decision. I am looking into rent to own options too - I'm not quite sure how those work but there were a couple I saw that I liked ok. I am pulling credit reports again, prolly mid-September. If DarkKnight is doing ok, we might not have to worry about financing so much, but I am nervous about his numbers being too low to hit what I want, interest-wise. My credit scores should have improved as well - but I am scared that my ex-husband and our foreclosure still might be haunting me. I am not worried about not getting a loan, but I am worried about the credit matrix not being ideal. And my plan is to get the best house, at the price point we want, for the lowest possible rate, so we can own our property outright within a decade. I honestly want it paid off in less than that, but there are too many factors to shuffle.

We are really going to look at the Martinsburg, WV area soon, and the Hanover area of Pennsylvania has been popping up lately. PunkRock's stepsister lives there. I haven't ruled out Indiana yet either, I don't think. I need to go through my state list - I haven't looked at it in ages.
 
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Just as someone who served in the US Army for many years, please steer her away from the military. Her memory issues will make it extremely difficult to make it through Basic and AIT.
There is lots of memorization in the Army of combat techniques, history, gear, procedures. You have to regurgitate that knowledge rapid fire while you have people screaming in your face. If you are wrong or slow to answer all hell rains down. And you become a target. The presumed weakest link gets the worst. National Guard trains right along side regular Army.

You asvab scores determine your job qualifications in the military. The lower the score the least desirable your MOS choices are. If she insists she wants to go into the military then it is better to walk in with a skill like a trade. Then you get a jump in rank more respect and can skip AIT with the right job.
 
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Honestly, I don't think she is going to do it. I talked to her more about just taking a couple of classes part time at the community college and she might do that.
 
Bluebird said:
I haven't ruled out Indiana yet either, I don't think. I need to go through my state list - I haven't looked at it in ages.
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Depending on what part of Indiana, I have a lender (and a realtor - not the same person!) that I HIGHLY recommend. I worked with her when I bought my house, and I've referred a few friends to her since then. :)

I'm glad to see that you are giving yourself time to grieve and be sad, and that your loves are supporting you through everything. The way that everything went down is pretty crappy.
 
Cool! The most difficult part is deciding which area to focus on - we can't contact a broker, or realtor, or anything really, until we know where we are going. I think right now we are going to explore and rule out the places closest to us, and then move outward. I have some private messages that I have been saving, with info on different areas that peeps from this website have sent to me, touting their places with tips. :) So we shall see.

Yeah, things did go down shitty. I am still feeling bad, off and on. It's a process. Yesterday I was at the game store with a friend, and WarMan came over to help someone out. (I sent him a message requesting his assistance.) It seemed like he was trying really hard to be bright and upbeat when interacting with me, but I did my best to concentrate on my game (which I lost, ugh) and not focus on him at all. When he left, my friend was like, holy shit - he's wrecked. He told me that WarMan made "moony eyes" at me a lot and was visibly depressed. I told him he was crazy - that WarMan had DONE this to us, that clearly he didn't care. WarMan made our relationship platonic and a nonstarter. He shut me down in every way I could be shut down. He just shrugged and told me that other guys know when other guys are into someone and WarMan still has feelings for me.

I really wish he hadn't said that to me. It wounded me more than I wanted to worry about.

Anyway, after WarMan left, the guy that needed helping (a new player) and my friend and I just hung out all day. Like, for 5 hours. Saturday is when everyone showed up to actually play, so there wasn't much going on at the game store yesterday. We talked a lot about life and things, so that was good. This friend is the one that lives just around the corner from us, and I enjoy his company a lot, because he talks just as much as I do! PunkRock told me the other day that he wanted to hang out more with him, because they are both intelligent assholes, and he respects that. lmao Anyway, it was a good day overall.

I signed up PunkRock and I to start this Call of Cthulhu RPG on Friday night. We had played one installment at 1d4con earlier this year and had a great time. The game store is hosting this event every other Friday starting this week, and when I sent an invite to PunkRock, he was like, oh yeah! He then forwarded on the invite to this friend I was just talking about, and his wife. I think that would be a fun thing to do together. Anyway, I also invited DarkKnight, and he actually told me yes, as well, this morning, so all 3 of us are going to go. He doesn't want to commit to every time, but he is interested since we are. :) Honestly, I am SUPER fucking excited to go do this with my loves. I am really looking forward to it.

When PunkRock got out of work last night, I had to pick him up and then together we took my daughter to West Virginia so she could spend the night at a friend's house. We talked a lot about when our relationship first started, and the butterflies and NRE. PunkRock said he could tell I still have NRE all the time for him, and that is really a positive in our relationship. It's true - I bubble up with happiness often when thinking about him - and this gaming event is just another example. I am so freaking bouncy! :) :) :) :) I love being in love, because I feel this so very much. I still have it for DarkKnight, and I did for WarMan as well, until that got stepped on. I do think it is a positive as well, because for me, it just adds jolts of electricity into my interactions with my loves, all the time, and it makes me want to do things to show my affection.

Speaking of which, I am hoping to do something special for PunkRock today, if the weather stays clear. I will post more in a couple of hours with photos, if I can make it happen. :)

Um, not nudie photos. It isn't that sort of special. lol

Ok, well, today I was woken up by a slew of messages from Greg, asking me about WarMachine and my plans for the week. He is really nice, guys. It's weird talking to him though, because I know there is this motive behind his interactions. I have decided to not encourage him on the romantic front but I don't see any harm in expanding our friendship, if he is ok with that. He is going to be in a one-act play at the end of the month at a theater closer to DC, and I think DarkKnight and I might go and see him in it. Tickets don't go on sale until tomorrow, so we will have to see how the prices and dates work out. I don't want to spend too much, when we are still saving to fix PunkRock's car.

My plan for the rest of this morning is to finish grading my Chemistry class' quizzes, get the grades entered, and the transcripts completed, printed and mailed out. Today is supposed to start my week of Astronomy curriculum overall, but since PunkRock started work at the asscrack of dawn, I wasn't able to keep the car and spend the day at Starbucks working on stuff. So, instead, my focus for Monday is closing out Chemistry.

Oh shit, I almost forgot to mention - I am SCREWED when it comes to my cardio workouts. I was doing so well, going 3 times a week and staying for 2 hours of water workouts - Aqua Zumba, and Splash Hydro. Anyway, I now have the start of a yeast infection. Can you believe it? If I am in a pool more than once, boom! So I am going to cure this bitch, then try going only once a week and doing some other sort of cardio instead. It's so very unfair - it's not like I sit around in a wet suit either, I do the 2 hour workout, towel off, come home and shower. Done. Ugh. I am so very unhappy, because I like the water workouts and they are something I don't dread. The idea of walking around the neighborhood or on a treadmill makes me sad.
 
I love a water workout too. Do you do candida prevention protocols? Eating yogurt everyday, taking probiotics capsules, avoiding sugar, alcohol, white flour and rice (or at least cutting back).

You can even get a plunger thingy, like the one that storebought anti-fungals come with, and shoot plain yogurt right up your cooch.
 
No, I don't. I had started taking probiotics when I was sick, but I've stopped. I guess I should start again, eh? I don't mind eating yogurt, but I am not apt to want to shoot it up my cooch. lol
 
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