Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Well, DarkKnight had a really good phone interview yesterday, but unfortunately, the position wage ceiling was $20,000 less than what he was making. It’s a local job and sounded amazing for his skill set, so he was super bummed. The interviewer was bummed too, and he said to please let him know if he could do anything else to entice him. We talked about it last night and crunched some numbers. HDarkknight sent them a thank you email this morning and said that if they could raise the salary like $8,000 and offer some benefit increases he would be interested. The guy messaged him back instantly, saying that would be obtainable, and DarkKnight is now scheduled for an interview Monday morning. Whoo hoo!

When we factor in the cost of DarkKnight commuting to DC daily, it’s not cheap. Factored in with him having facial tics - driving that distance is worrisome. Also, since we are not going to have $400 a pay period 401(k) loans to pay off - we can make this happen. We will have to see how the interview goes. That said, also this morning, he received two emails - one asking to set up a phone interview with a company one town over, and another asking for clarification on some of his salary requirements and what they are offering. Every day he has been finding stuff to interview for, so that’s good.
 
I had some bad depression last night and this morning I am still down in a pit. I really can’t stop worrying about my oldest daughter. It’s making me ill. I don’t know how to not care about her situation, or how to stop myself from caring that she won’t call or text me. It’s impossible to detach from my child, as she carries my heart wherever she goes.
 
My little brother just called me. Apparently he was in a super bad car accident last night, with his baby momma. They were doing 55 and went through an intersection where the cross street had a stop, but they didn’t. A car came down the cross street also going 55 and didn’t stop. Sent his car airborne, flipping, ended upside down in a ditch. They were both okay though my brother had glass in his eye. His car was completely totaled. They were on the way to pick up their two kids from daycare - so lucky they weren’t in the car too.
 
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DarkKnight had an in-person interview this morning and he said it went really well. He is now waiting to hear back about the second round of interviews. He also has a phone interview with a different company today.

Right now I am waiting for my therapy appointment to start.

My period is ending so I am crampy and unhappy. After my appointment I have to run around and find shredded cheese and 50 pounds of ground beef for a Taco giveaway we are hosting tomorrow.

Today is also my 13th wedding anniversary with DarkKnight. We celebrated yesterday with dinner at BJ’s restaurant & brewery, and we went to a live show of The Three Musketeers at the local college. It was really great! We had fun sexy times afterward too. It was yummy!
 
I spent yesterday and last night sick AF. Ugh. Nauseated, unable to regulate my body temperature, alternating between thick sludge and swift rivers of poo out my back end - this has not been fun. I caught whatever has been causing PunkRock to be ill. He is finally on the mend, but I am a wreck. I didn’t sleep much last night because I was drenched in sweat one minute and then freezing cold the next. It’s made me really weak.

DarkKnight ended up being my hero yesterday. He handled the taco giveaway all day solo, and we had a large Amazon order come in, full of special request items that had to be marked and processed. I was super lucky he was able to cover for me while I tried to stay very still and not puke in the bed. I watched the first season of the show Colony on Netflix. I can’t say that I remember most of it. Seriously, I haven’t been this sick in a long time, and it’s terrible because most of it’s invisible - I’m not coughing or sneezing, but trust me when I say I’d rather have that, than the vomiting.

Good news - DarkKnight did receive another email from the interview on Monday; they had him donone of those personality tests. He submitted that right away. He has another interview request email from another company - he messaged them his availability for a meeting tomorrow or Friday. So he is doing okay in his job search.

Tomorrow I am supposed to drive my daughter to the foot doctor - she’s afraid she may have stress fractures along where she broke her foot in half previously. She could go herself, but she called and asked if I would go with her for moral support. Thank goodness DarkKnight received the subsidized COBRA extension as part of his severance package - we are paying less than $200 a month for the same medical plan he had while employed. His old work is paying like $1700. I am so glad we don’t have to shoulder that cost! And at least we have the insurance, because so am sure my youngest will need xrays at the very least tomorrow, when she goes to see the specialist.

My nephew is supposed to be coming down this weekend from NY for a visit with his boyfriend. He will be staying with my daughter and they’re supposed to go to DC on Sunday. I feel bad he is coming down when the cold comes back. It’s been gorgeous here weather-wise lately but the weekend is going to be freezing again

I need to shower but I am afraid that I will be sick during it. I wasn’t able to hang on to breakfast or lunch yesterday but I managed to keep down my dinner, though I ate much less than normal. I had oatmeal today but it’s already not sitting well.
 
I feel much improved. Hurray!

My daughter’s foot has some bone spur issues on the top, but after an X-ray, the surgeon says he wants her to have a CAT scan so now she is waiting for a referral for that.

Thursday was Steak and a Blow Job day, so we had cheesesteaks for dinner and DarkKnight had a good time later. PunkRock took a rain check. Lol We are together tonight so we shall see!

DarkKnight had a staffing agency interview yesterday and he felt positive about it. They have some placement ideas that are temp to perm and pay more than he used to be making, but they are in the city, so we are wishy washy on them. However, he is open to it, so he told them to submit his info.

Right now DarkKnight are seeing the Captain Marvel movie. I hope to see Captive State later this week with PunkRock.
 
I’m doing a chicken bbq giveaway today at the Box, so it’s going to be busy at my House soon. Each person signed up will get a pack of chicken quarters, a bottle of BBQ sauce, a box of cornbread, a can of green beans, a box of scalloped potatoes and a pack of pre-made cookie mix. This one was quick - I had enough cash donations to purchase the meat on Monday, so I posted a picture of all 20 packs that morning, and by yesterday evening, all of the sides had been donated. Boom, done. The schedule was full in one hour with the 20 recipients, and I have a wait list of 24. Once I get up outta bed, I will need to mark all of the UPC codes (I already did the chicken) and get everything bagged for pickup, which starts at 11 am. That’s, that’s my day y’all!

My oldest nephew came down to see us from NY this weekend, and this time he brought his boyfriend, who was hilarious. I got along with him very well. We had an hour long discussion about coming out, how poly works for different people, and just life experiences in general. My nephew is 19, and I think his boyfriend is like 23? His boyfriend is out to his parents but he isn’t allowed to date. He is from a different cultural background, and he has to hide his relationships or the family will cut off his support while in college. He has a year left for his Master’s degree, so he’s struggling to bring together his life. He is wanting an open relationship, but my nephew is resistant. I don’t think talking to me helped, other than to clarify the difference between being open and being poly.

I finally heard how my nephew came out to his mom. She had grounded him and had taken his phone, and she saw him getting text alerts from a guy he was seeing. Apparently she went crazy, screaming and shouting about how this wasn’t him, and how he would never get married or have kids or have a good life. Apparently she has never apologized and she still is very uncomfortable with his orientation. He says she makes comments that he isn’t gay, but most definitely bi, and that he will end up with a girl eventually. My nephew’s boyfriend said she was very dismissive of him low key - she made a lot of comments that could be taken very badly but he said it was always just low key on the line acceptable, so he just tries to make it mean the best possible comment, if that makes sense. Ugh. My nephew hasn’t told his dad at all.

My heart really breaks for this situation. Living a lie or trying to present a fake version of yourself is so sad. It’s shitty even on poly, having to pretend to be monogamous - people fear for their jobs. I am so glad I can be out and live my life authentically. I told my nephew that he always has a home with us if he needs a place to land, or a place to leave from. <3

The job search continues for DarkKnight. The firm in town passed on him - they feel that his skills are way above what they are hiring for, and that they can’t offer him what he needs to keep him long term. Bummer, but accurate. I am starting to get nervous - he is still applying for jobs but everything is like an hour and a half away. That commute will not work long term. We may end up having to move and the thought of that is not something I want to contemplate right now. I don’t think we would sell the house - I would probably rent it out to my daughter & son who are renting an apartment together right now. We can trust them not to trash it, and that way we wouldn’t lose our shirts trying to sell it.

PunkRock’s brother, LordTenderHeart, had a DUI in December and he was sentenced Monday. He was supposed to call us yesterday but we didn’t hear from him at all. I called his county jail, and they told me he was there for 15 days. However, the case search says that he was sentenced to 60 days with 60 days suspended. So we don’t know what is going on. I have his lawyer’s information, so I am going to call there today. We don’t know if LordTenderHeart made plans for his African Gray parrot, and we don’t want it starving or dying of dehydration!

Oh! I had my first workout session and I did ok. I left dripping sweat though, so I am somewhat discouraged. I can’t have that happen for too long without having side effects. I have HS, so that is sure to be triggered and made worse through exercise, and I have another autoimmune disorder - I am allergic to my own sweat. Not the physical sensation of having sweat on my skin, but the hormones involved with sweating trigger an immune response where the sweat glands are attacked. Fucking loveliness. I was hoping that the classes would have less cardio, but so far that’s a no. I am supposed to be in a 7 am age 40+ Strength building class, but I can’t make that happen yet so I am in a 5 pm strength/cardio mix class. Both classes are MWF so I will go again tonight.
 
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OMG today’s workout about killed me. I did okay during the workout but now that I am home I can barely do the stairs or walk like a normal person. Gah! I showered but that doesn’t seem to help the backs of my thighs, holy shit. Thank god I have tomorrow off because I would be rubbery trying to work out then!

DarkKnight got another job message tonight - the email says it pays in a range that is perfect for his skill set, so yay! Tomorrow he is going to take an online something or other, which is their first round of stuff, I guess, before scheduling an interview.
 
I got all kitted up yesterday for the gym - my two new sports bras fit great, and PunkRock surprised me with cash to go buy new sneakers. I also bought two new hoodies, though that wasn’t exactly for the gym - I had been needing a solid black one for a while, and the prices were great, so I bought a gray one as well. :)

That said, I didn’t go to the gym yesterday because my body is still too sore to even move. I was worried about rolling my ankle again in my older sneakers too, so I skipped. I am still doing really well with eating five servings of vegetables a day, which is all the nutrition part of my coaching has prescribed to me, so far.

Today my bestie has an photography exhibit opening at a gallery in Frederick, so I am going there tonight with DarkKnight to support her. I was hoping to be able to see Rent at the local live theater, but I think the times are not going to be compatible, and I definitely don’t want to miss my friend’s art. I have a group of honor students donating a meal giveaway today in the afternoon - I am not sure what it’s going to be, so I haven’t announced it for the Blessing Box yet. My ex, CornFlower is supposed to be coming by this morning as he wants to donate some of his transformers and hot wheels to kids at the Box. I think these would be great in the Easter baskets we are giving away - I think we are up to 172 baskets that have been requested? Crazy!

The bathroom remodel is going really well - the floor is prepped and the new tiles have been purchased. PunkRock got s lot done this week but we are now on hold until he has two days off in a row again! He actually may be leaving his warehouse job soon - his old work opened a warehouse in town, and his favorite boss has transferred over there. PunkRock talked to him yesterday and he is now going to apply. He would be making the same amount, working with someone he respects, and cutting his commute time from 45 minutes back to 15 minutes. Also, the schedule will be the same - 3 12 hour days, but their overtime isn’t mandatory. We will see how it goes.
 
Ugh. Bad mood today. Everything negative in my life was pressing on me last night - I fell asleep crying. I had stress dreams about people dropping off kittens unannounced on my porch, and I woke up with a headache. When I went to get dressed this morning for the gym, my clothes were wet in the washer. Just ugh.

Either Lenny or Milton pissed in my makeup bag sometime last week - it was dried up and stinky when I went to put on eyeliner. I didn’t figure it out until I had actually put on eyeliner - yay! My eyes both were swollen for a day. Can you imagine? Blech! But that’s $250 in the trash, that I can’t afford to replace anytime soon. Dwelling on it has me frustrated, for sure. Both of them are trying my last nerve. I am going to call and get them tested for a UTI at the vet, but I think Milton is just stressed and Lenny smells his spraying, and is then doing it as well. We bought Feliway plug-ins and everything stopped for a week, and we were getting back to normal. Then the plug-in ran out and now this. Fuck.

I am done with today though, and it hasn’t even started. I keep smelling pee right when I walk in the front door but can’t see or find anything. Ugh. I am going to see if DarkKnight will help me give the front room a complete top to bottom deep clean and hopefully find where this hidden spot is. Imma stab something if I can’t!
 
A black light will show cat pee on surfaces.
 
Yep. That's what we use. :)

I got a phone call this morning from my oldest daughter. This is after over a month of silence. She is trying to get into an inpatient facility. This happened right after I was crying, watching an episode of Queer Eye. So my reaction was definitely more tears, though it would have been anyway. I am so glad she reached out to me to let me know. She apologized for not calling and for not paying me back the money she owed me, but that she had been in a bad headspace. No shit. Heroin doesn't exactly improve your life.

I am kind of numb now. I feel like throwing up. There's not much I can do here, but going there wont help either. I love my daughter so much. I am an emotional wreck.
 
I became violently ill Wednesday morning - some sort of stomach bug woke me up around 2 am. I was horribly gassy and I vomited early on. I could barely move all day, other than to go to the bathroom with diarrhea. It was seriously awful and I wanted to die. I ended up spending two nights in a row with PunkRock because the upstairs bathroom doesn’t currently exist due to remodeling. There was no way I could stay with DarkKnight and then have to run the entire length of the house, down the stairs, and then run the entire length of the house again! He didn’t mind because the smells coming from me were most unpleasant. You would think having a day off to lay in bed would be great, but that was definitely not the case! I ended up canceling my workout. That would have been dangerous! Lol I was much improved yesterday, though a little tired. Today I feel ok and I am looking forward to my gym visit.

I am currently overwhelmed by the Blessing Box. I closed down for a day and now my overflow room is insane. I had a neighbor come in and volunteer yesterday, so all of the food donations to that point have their UPC codes marked and they were put away. During that, I focused on making posts and moving out a ton of baby furniture that we had donated, and dealing with people dropping by to pick up other things. Everyone that comes by is always so nice - and all of them are usually amazed at how many people are stopping by. Lol I have a lot of moms who are always like - I am so sorry, I just love talking because all I see are my kids all day! I have to tell them that is okay - if I didn’t like talking to people, this would not be the job for me!

Today I should have a middle school student come out to sort toys for me. CornFlower donated a ton of Hot Wheels, Transformers and miscellaneous stuff to the Box last weekend, and DarkKnight and I got most of it sorted out, but we still have a big bin left to go. I am going to have the volunteer piece it out, and then if there is time left, I also have a few bags of stuffed animals to go through as well. A lot is going to a downtown hotel which is creating a playroom for its residents - it’s a transition point for a lot of drug addicts and homeless, so the kids need a space. I already had a bunch of stuff gifted that I passed on, including some of the Hot Wheels already. I really need to get the bins sorted out 100% today because I have my Easter Basket sponsor coming to visit on Sunday, and I need to have stuff ready to give to her so she can take it home. She’s handling our entire giveaway - I’m just taking names, ages and genders and passing them along. She’s purchasing and assembling. The weekend before Easter, she’ll be bringing the completed baskets to me to hand out. Right now we have 173 kids signed up. Lol This is my life. Lol

Actually, I love it! One of my main catch up points I had to do yesterday was messages. I get SO many requests for assistance each day, and I have to keep them sorted and connect them up with donors. For example - I had a hospital worker message me and said she has a mom client with a 2 year old special needs boy and a newborn baby girl, and this family desperately needs a double stroller. So I messaged a donor, and they found one for $30 on Facebook Marketplace. It’s being brought to me on Sunday. I also had a request come in from the city library, from a woman that was talking to a stranger, who said he had a new job but couldn’t start it due to needing work boots. She messaged me, then had him message me. He’s living in the homeless shelter, and got hired at a local warehouse, but yeah, if you don’t have steel toe boots, you can’t start. I have heard this many times! I posted about it and within a short time frame, a brand new pair of boots in the size needed were at my house. The guy is coming today to pick them up, as if he had walked here yesterday, he would have missed the shelter opening and wouldn’t have got a bed last night. No worries there! Oh, and then I also had a message yesterday from a grandmother who now has custody of her 3 year old granddaughter - both parents are on heroin. She needs clothes, shoes and a bed. I just so happened to have a quilt set on hand that is absolutely gorgeous for a little girl, and I messaged a donor who bought her a brand new toddler bed right then and there. It is also arriving on Sunday, from Amazon. DarkKnight will be picking up a used mattress to fit from someone in town later this morning.

How could I not love this? This is seriously only a fraction of the messages I fielded yesterday - and I had two days worth to catch up on! I’ve already had my first message this morning - a mom of a 5 year old boy is asking for a donation of a raincoat, rainboots and an umbrella. A school from a couple towns over where she lives is doing a Kindergarten play and these props are required of each student to participate. She doesn’t have the money, and she sent me the note from the teacher to support the request. We have a month before they are needed, so I think these items will just go onto our daily request list, hoping that someone will sponsor them. I wish I had the money to just buy them, but the list is long and I am sure I will receive at least half a dozen other requests today!
 
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So, DarkKnight is still unemployed and his severance is all done. I’ve paid all of the bills that I possibly can and now we are kinda hoping for the best. He cashed out his 401(k) and we are waiting for the check to arrive this coming week. The hope is that he will find a job so we can just roll this amount over into an IRA. Otherwise, we are going to need it to supplement his unemployment, which he also filed for this past week.

Right now the plan is to pay off the $3000 or so we have spread out on various credit cards so his credit score is at its peak, in case we have to relocate and buy a new house. This is so shifty, but it’s the only plan we have at the moment. None of us want to move, but we need to structure ourselves to be at the top of our game.
 
I have been super busy lately. My upstairs bathroom is still under construction but there is an end in sight! PunkRock put down some leveling compound or whatever it is called yesterday and he says on Sunday he will be laying tile. We haven’t picked a grout color yet, so I need to get that done.

Blessing Box updates - I am currently on hold for special requests because my overflow room is well, overflowing. I have a 7-day meat giveaway going on today from 11 am to 5 pm - everyone signed up is getting a week’s worth of meat: 2 cans of tuna fish, 2 pounds of ground beef, a big pack of chicken quarters, a kielbasa, a ham steak, a 2 pound pork roast and a pack of hot dogs. I had a volunteer in yesterday for two hours and we got everything set up so I can do this today. :) Next weekend is our giveaway for the kids’ Easter baskets - final count is 183. Gah! I think I may then close for a week. I need to clear my space and get my house clean, omg.

I have a secret project going on with the Box that I haven’t announced yet - I am currently working on a “Spring Cleaning” raffle, and it is going to be AMAZING. It’s one of the reasons my overflow room is unmanageable - donors have been dropping off baskets for this! I basically have a basket for every room in the house - to help update or clean. Like, I have one that is all supplies you use to clean your bathroom, another for the kitchen. The family room upgrade is a Blu-Ray player with the Jurassic Park trilogy, Ghostbusters movies, and the Mummy series all on Blu-Ray. The home office package is a Chromebook, case, and a $15 gift card to Starbucks.There’s a kid’s room upgrade that has two storage cubes, two Harry Potter framed posters, a Platform 9 3/4 hook, a Hogwarts letter pillow and a vinyl sticky for the light switch which reads Lumos or Nox. Bathroom upgrade has new towels & handtowels, a shower curtain, bath bombs, bubble bath, candle, toothpaste holder/soap dispenser and litter garbage can. There is seriously not a raffle package that isn’t great - I am hoping to raise a lot of money with this! Tickets will be $1 or people may trade canned goods for up to 10 tickets. The food will go to the Box, but the cash will go to someone we started a Go Fund Me for so she can get dentures. These baskets take up so much room though! Lol I seriously need to buy a shed.

However, instead I bought a new laptop. Actually, DarkKnight bought me a new one! I have been still using the ancient Thinkpad that WarMan gave me a few years ago when we were dating, and it was old then. I don’t even remember what DarkKnight ordered - he got it on Amazon. We went to Best Buy and spent an hour looking at different ones, only to find out my top two choices weren’t in stock. I was hella pissed at the salesman because I told him I only wanted to look at stuff that was in stock. So he lost my sale, that was for sure!
 
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I am so BLAH today. I seriously have just been tired and grumpy, like my period is due. Only, I just got off my period so who the hell knows. DarkKnight and I went and saw Shazam! today and oh wow was it a great movie! It was hilarious, fun and heartwarming. I would definitely recommend it.
 
Last night, 183 Easter baskets were delivered to my house! They were due on Friday but my donor got them done early. So my day is going to be spent getting them into the hands of parents and out of my overflow room. I am also hoping to get some donations soon of stuff for our mini fridge - the weather is nicer so it will be back on the porch. Hurray for the Blessing Box! :)

I spent the morning paying bills and we are good for this month. You know what’s great about having one husband unemployed? That I am already stressed out, so when my second husband tells me that he is quitting his job tomorrow, I don’t freak out. I just roll with it. Yeah, PunkRock is done working at the warehouse an hour away. He had been becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the way things were being run there and now he is just done. The good news is that he is going back to Home Depot right away - they opened a new distribution center not 5 minutes from our house, and they hired him the same day he went in to interview. He will be making like 60 cents less, but the commute and his unhappiness will become nonexistent, so I am all for it.
 
All of the Easter baskets are gone and I am sure my city will soon have many happy kiddos! I have taken the week off from the Blessing Box and it feels nice to not have to stress about it for a short time. I plan to use this week to bring my house back to baseline! My bathroom is still being put back together, so I have no toilet upstairs - it’s in the kitten room - and no sink/vanity - it’s in DarkKnight’s office! My cat Lenny is peeing all over the place, so I am going to strip each room down to nothing and sanitize fully and rearrange some things. We also have some shopping to do - since DarkKnight no longer needs an office for work, we are going to buy him a nice recliner and set it up as a combo office/relaxation room.
 
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I have been enjoying my week off even though I am still doing tons of stuff for the Blessing Box behind the scenes. We got a hotel room for a week and a half for a homeless mom with a 2 year old, lined up some furniture deliveries and today I am signing up kids to go see a theater program with me. This afternoon I am assembling raffle baskets as well. Whew!

PunkRock has started his new job and so far he seems to like it. He has W-Th-F off all the time, and sometimes Saturdays. I bought tickets to surprise him, and we are going to go see the band Spiritualized on Friday night in Philly. We are going to stay overnight at a hotel and then check out the Delaware Art Museum on Saturday before heading home. He was very surprised. :)

My youngest daughter was promoted at work to some sort of management position, and will be working at a different grocery store in Frederick. When she got promoted, she gets put on a list and apparently the store manager at this other location requested her specifically. She starts Monday. I am really happy because this week I unexpectedly had to pay $300 to cover her car insurance and to take my name off the title to her car. I was hella pissed but I know she just didn’t have the cash. Well we didn’t either but I couldn’t deal with it not being covered. Hopefully the new job will help her better afford to pay her bills.

I colored my hair today and it’s more burgundy than the light red I have been living with for a while. I like it a lot.
 
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Bleh. Everyone had weird work schedules today, so there was no time that worked for us all to get together for an Easter meal. So, DarkKnight and I took my oldest and youngest to a brunch at a local restaurant in the afternoon. I had an amazing bread pudding with blueberry compote, an arugula salad and scrambled eggs. Oh, and a flight of mimosas. :D My daughter had the same - they were very yummy drinks - one made with OJ, another with cranberry juice and the last with grapefruit juice. It ended up being crazy expensive, but I am glad I got to see my son. We all talked a lot about Game of Thrones and what our theories were!

PunkRock just got home from work, so we are about to eat ham and some homemade mac and cheese made by DarkKnight. My daughter is back here as well. lol She's here mainly for GOT tonight, but decided she wanted some delicious dinner as well!

I did get a text message from my oldest daughter in New York, so yay? I know she isn't healthy but there's nothing I can do about it, so I am celebrating the little things. I also talked to my mom for a half hour on the phone.

I am reopening the Blessing Box tomorrow and I am excited about it. The mini-fridge is back on the porch, and I have a fully stocked fridge and freezer inside to keep it filled for most of the day! A local BBQ festival messaged this morning and offered me leftover pork butts, so we now have 13 new-in-package 7-8 pound pork roasts to give out tomorrow. Super sweet for an unannounced meat giveaway! I plan to just put them into the mini fridge one at a time, until they are all gone. I suspect that we will have some very happy visitors - each one is easily enough for 2 meals.

I have my second hypnotherapy appointment scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, and I am really looking forward to it. The first one went very well and I am actually upbeat about my future ability to go to the dentist and get back onto my Invisalign program. Yay!
 
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